After six long weeks of dieting the final weigh in day had arrived and I would find out how my weight loss team did in the competition. The prizes were significant so I made a major effort toward losing weight, cutting out soft drinks and sweets altogether, cutting out the fatty, red meat and reducing my portion sizes. I also made a diligent effort at curbing my between meal snacking and I tried to exercise whenever possible.
At the halfway point, my team was in second place, only a few pounds behind the lead group, so I was enthusiastic about the results. While I was dependent on my team members for the competition, I knew one of them had lost at least as much as I had and the other two were losing a little, so I felt good about our chances. Additionally, when I talked to one of my teammates he said he had a special surprise waiting for me, something that would help suck that last ounce of weight out of me.
I wasn't sure what he had in mind, but knowing this guy it was bound to be good. Slipping on my jacket, I rode down the elevator and then crossed the street to the fitness center for my weigh in. Walking into the building I went to the main desk and asked, "I'm in the weight loss contest, where do I go for the final weigh in?"
"Oh a contestant, yes, you'll want to go in the first door to your right. You're in for a treat," she said, excitedly.
"I am?"
"Oh yes, wait till you see."
Well, I started getting a little nervous, not knowing what to expect. It sounded like my teammate had really gone all out, but what could it be? Heading to the door, I slowly pushed the lever down and opened it.
"Congratulation weight loser, no weight winner!" a strange looking little man with curly hair and wearing a day glow green outfit shouted out. "You are our first contestant to weigh in, so please walk this way," he said, walking toward a small screened off area with an exaggerated sway to his hips.
I followed him swaying my hips too, but when he noticed what I was doing he said, "Well, you don't have to make fun."
"I'm sorry, I thought... wait a minute aren't you... aren't you that fitness guy. Yeah, you're the one, you're the one Letterman sprayed with the fire extinguisher."
"I don't want to talk about that," he said pertly, crossing his arms.
"But yeah, you're the fitness guru, you're ah..."