The Big Bangin' Theory

This is a freaky sleazy fuck parody... It ain't real.

This is a fuck parody about my interactions with the characters from the TV show The Big Bang Theory... My mom, Patty, in this story will be played by Patricia Heaton... Enjoy my fellow freaks.

***

"Yeah mom. I know. Just tell dad to chill with the taking over the world crap. Well, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, I'll be here. Come on by. OK, see you later sexy lady. Love you too. Kiss. Bye."

"Your mom ok?"

"Yeah, my idiot dad is driving her crazy. (Laughing) He's determined to try and take over the world... And be a movie star at the same damn time. (Shaking my head) She's coming over in a little while, to chill here. Is that OK?"

"Of course babe."

My girlfriend, Penny, came over and laid on me, on our sofa. We've been together for six months. We've been living together for about four. Penny and I have been friends for a long time. We used to fool around a lot, even after she got into a relationship with her ex, Leonard. She found out Leonard was having an affair with his ex, Priya, so Penny divorced him and she and I started up again. He was so broken up about his marriage ending, that he moved back to New Jersey.

Penny is still mad at Leonard for cheating on her. She sent him a video of me assfucking her, because she never let him do it to her, even though he begged her repeatedly. We did it on his Star Trek outfit he left behind. Ha. Penny can be cold hearted. I dig her. She knows about my porn career and pimpin' life. She's OK with me being with other women. She knew that was my life before we got involved. She let's me be me and doesn't try to change me. We have a great, happy... and oh so fucking fun, relationship.

I was looking forward to seeing my mom. We always have fun when we hang out. Mom's a fun chick. A fucking sexy one too. A definite milf... and I've already fucked her a bunch. She's a great fuck. I've already had a few threesomes with my mom and Penny. They get along great, which relaxes me.

Penny and I were making out. She was wearing a pink and white, very tight top and very short shorts, that said, JUICY, across her perfectly shaped ass. Her long blonde hair was tied up and she had on great pink lip gloss. I love that shit. That's why she wears it. I smacked and squeezed that "juicy" ass. We kissed deeply, passionately. That lips gloss tasted great, those lips felt great, that ass felt fucking awesome in my hands. "Mmmmmmm, daddy likes my ass, doesn't he?"

"No... he fucking loves it."

"Ha ha ha. Good. It's all yours baby."

Our tongues fucked in our mouths. I squeezed that ass hard, then soft. My hands went down in her shorts, squeezing her bare ass. Penny has one of the best asses ever. It's so perfectly shaped, so toned and soft. She fucking hot for sure. I can pick my women. She's so damn gorgeous from head to toe.

Someone knocked on the door. Of course. I smacked Penny's ass once more and she got up to answer it, leaning down and kissing me, as she went to the door. I lit a blunt and smoked. It was Penny's close friend Bernadette. They used to work at The Cheesecake Factory as waitresses. She's a hottie too. She has big, natural tits. She's short and has the voice of a fairy, but she's hot. She's way too hot for her goofy husband, Howard. They are the world shortest, regular sized couple, I think.

Bernadette walked in looking so sexy. She just came from a workout I assume. She wore a blue spandex workout outfit, with a cutoff gray sweatshirt over it. She had on a pink sports bra underneath it all. Her long blonde hair was in a ponytail.

"What's up?"

"Nothing much, I just needed to chill. Howard's being a pain. He's with the kids. My parents are coming over to stay for a week to help with them. Howard's the biggest baby of all though. I had to chill someplace away from him.

"It's cool. James' mom is coming over to get away from his dad and chill here too. Must be something in the air."

Penny and Bernadette laughed. Bernadette came over and took my blunt from me, took a big puff and passed it back to me. She exhaled into the air and bent over, looking right at me, smiling. "Hey there sexy man." I chuckled.

"Hey babe. Lookin' good." I passed the blunt back to her and she puffed again and passed it back. I opened my mouth and she blew the smoke slowly in my mouth. She almost kissed me, but not quite. Tease. Bernadette and I get along great. We've been friends for a long time also. I've never fucked her though. Don't know why. It just never happened. Penny laid on the sofa with me and we smoked. Bernadette sat at our feet. She put her sexy legs on me, no shoes. We all three just chilled and smoked. A relaxing afternoon.

"What's up with Howard?" Penny asked.

"Ugh. Don't get me started. He's a spoiled little brat with a little ass dick." We all laughed. Penny got caught off guard and choked. I patted her back and she drank some wine. She was fine.

"Well, (clearing her throat) ... You knew that when you married him Bernie." Penny told her.

"Yeah, but I was in love and shit." We laughed again. You could tell Bernadette was really frustrated with her weird husband. She was puffing hard on that blunt. It eventually calmed her down though. She started rubbing my bare chest with her feet. She have nice feet. I'm not a foot guy, but they're nice. I leaned over and kissed one.

"Awwww, thank you Jamesy Wamesy. You're so sweet. Penny's so lucky." Bernadette blew me a kiss.

"I know I am. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. James is SOOOOOOO much better, than my lame ass, loser ex husband." Penny kissed me three times. "I love you Jamesy Wamesy." Penny smiled. She and Bernadette giggled.

"Love you too, JUICY." Penny giggled, remembering her shorts.

Penny pulled my semi hard cock out and shook it. "Look at that cock Bernie... I get it every day baby." Penny leaned over and licked all around my plump head, shoving her tongue in my pee slit. She sucked quickly on the head, popping her mouth off of it repeatedly. Damn, that felt good. She sucked me deep, her cheeks billowing out around my shaft. Penny glanced back at me, shaking her eyebrows, moaning and engulfing my manmeat at a quickened pace. I played with her perky tits through her blouse, squeezing them roughly. Bernadette watched, smoked and passed Penny the blunt. Penny lifted her head off of my cock, puffed hard and handed the blunt to me. She blew the smoke slowly up and down my cock and balls. She smirked, knowing how much I enjoyed it.

Penny quickly sucked me back in her mouth and went hard on my cock, sucking quickly, snaking that tongue of hers all over my head and shaft, desperate for my load. I gave her the nut. My cock pumped out my cum and she swallowed it all happily. I smoked and laid my head back, groaning happily from my girl's blowjob. I passed off to Bernadette and watched her suck that smoke down hard. It made me hard again. She winked at me, knowing I was turned on by her smoking skills. "Put it between those fucking titties baby." I got right to the fucking point.

Bernadette thought about it. "I don't know James. I've never cheated on Howie, even though he's a humongous pain in my sweet little ass. I don't know." Penny helped me out, shaking my cock at Bernadette, giving her a "come and get it" look.

"It's the best dick you'll ever have between those big ass titties of yours Bernie... You know you want it. You tell me all the time how much you want James. Here's your chance." Penny got the ball rolling good by grabbing Bernadette's right breast and squeezing it. "Wow, this is big."

"Pennyyyyyyyy. Please." Bernadette was shy all of a sudden.

Penny pulled off Bernadette's gray sweatshirt. She pulled down her blue spandex workout top, exposing her pink sports bra. She slapped and squeezed her right tit, pinching her nipple through her bra. Bernadette stared squirting milk onto her bra. "Yes! Shoot that shit baby!" Penny squeezed Bernie's tit roughly, getting more milk out. Penny went ahead and just pulled Bernie's bra up over her big milk jugs and sucked them both, drawing out that sweet milk. She jerked my cock too. Her hand wrapped tightly around my shaft, pumping it quickly. I watched and smoked, thirsty for Bernie's milk and so fucking ready to pound those big ass funbags.

"Aw, fuck it." Bernie gave in and leaned over, wrapping those big cans around my throbbing cock. They were so soft and comfy. Penny licked my cock head, as Bernie pumped my rock hard manmeat with those gorgeous tits. Penny pulled her hard, pink nipples, squirting Bernie's milk on me. I took a huge puff on my blunt and slowly exhaled up. My head was laying on a couch pillow. I was in sexual heaven, two gorgeous babes working my cock. I pulled Penny on top of me and yanked her "juicy" shorts and pink thong off. I licked the inside of her thong and tossed it on the floor.

I took a big puff off of my blunt and blew the smoke slowly, up and down, Penny's wet labia. kissed all over her dripping pussy, snaking my tongue up her cunt, shaking and rolling it everywhere inside. I pinched Penny's large, pink clit hard, holding it in my grip. "Mmmmmmmm, FUCK!!" She liked it. I held her clit and tongue fucked her soaking wet snatch rapidly, my tongue rolling and licking, flicking and dragging all over her pussy walls. Penny came in my mouth, her pussy shooting her pussy cream deep in my mouth. I swallowed it all, as Bernie pumped my ridiculously hard dick super fast with her big naturals. She and Penny both licked my head, lapping up my oozing precum.

My cock lurched and pumped out my load. It shot out onto their faces. Their tongues lapped it out of the air. They took turns shoving it in their mouths and sucking my cum out. FUCK!! It felt so good. They sucked me dry, kissing, playing with my nut, finally swallowing every drop. "That was delicious James. Sorry it took so long to sample it." Bernie being sweet... still sucking my spent cock. I passed the blunt to Penny I sat up and played with Bernadette's big, beautiful tits. I rubbed the nipples up and down with my thumbs. I squeezed them roughly. They are so fucking soft. I licked her nipples slowly, then opened wide and sucked her whole tits, one at a time, into my mouth. I quickly licked where milky nipples, as I sucked the whole tits. I pulled back a little and sucked just her nipples, sucking out that tasty milk. I sucked out two mouthfuls and swallowed both. I kissed every inch of her tits, softly biting them. "Mmmmmmmmmmm, I love it James. I love it." Bernie was into it big time.

I got a phone call, from one of my hoes and party buddy, Courtney Love. Like I said, we work together and party together. She needed a "hook up." I told her to come over and I'd hook her up. Courtney pays for the drugs... Usually... and she always throws some pussy or a blowjob in as a bonus. I like her. She's weird and can be annoying, but we have fun.

About an hour later, Penny and Bernadette went shopping and I was on the couch doing a couple lines with Courtney. She looked like usual... A hot mess. A white tank top, no bra, white Capri pants, a studded belt and whites stripper pumps. Her cherry red lipstick was already smeared from kissing me and who knows what else. We moved on to drinking some Henny and smoking. Her lips wrapped tightly around that blunt was such a turn on. She may be a mess... but like I said... she was a fucking hot mess. "Gonna give me some dick Daddy?" Courtney laser locked my eyes and played with her B cup titties through her top, as she smoked. She was out of it. Her head was wobbling. She was high.

She didn't wait for an answer. She pulled my cock out and just sucked it like a starving bitch. That slut can suck cock. Courtney gobbled up my meat, sucking it all the way down, drooling all over my cock and balls. Her lipstick was gone, the red from it was smeared all over my cock. She massaged my balls delicately, while she went to town on my dick. Her lips dragged hard up and down my throbbing shaft. Her head flew up and down on it, sucking so perfectly, that tongue drooling all over my cock. I grunted and pumped her sucking mouth full of nut. Courtney moaned happily and swallowed every damn drop of jizz that shot out of my cock. She licked, kissed and sucked my cock some more. I pissed a little in her mouth. I didn't have much, but she swallowed what I had down, moaning and grinning so big, loving my piss sliding down her throat. She smacked those sexy lips hard as she pulled off of my dick. Courtney smiled so big, knowing she did a good job. She slowly jerked my cock and smoked.

"I wanna have your baby, James. Get me fucking pregnant daddy, pleaseeeeeee." Courtney, the prim and proper lady.

"Courtney."

"C'mon babe, pleaseeeeeee. You get paid to do it. I'll pay you... Here." Courtney reached in her pocket and pulled out a big wad of cash. She handed it to me. It was 10 grand. Yes, I get paid by famous and other rich women, to get them pregnant. "C'mon baby... You can piss in my ass too if you want. Fuck it, I took the money and Courtney climbed on my cock. She rode me like a champ. Her eyes were laser locked on me, her fingers pinching my nipples. I reached up and pulled her tank top up. I manhandled those 32B tits, pinching her nipples hard. Her milk oozed out, dribbling down my hands. I fucked intensely up into her snatch, my cock pumping every inch of thick meat up her hole so ridiculously fast. "Mmmmmmmmmmmm, FUCKKKKKK!! FUCK ME DADDY!!" Courtney's perky tits jiggled violently as I hammered up her pussy so insanely hard. "YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!" Courtney squirted. Her juice flew out of the sides of her soaking wet snatch. It flooded my crotch.

I hammered her cunt so damn fast, my cock was almost in slow motion. It flew so wildly up her cunt. Courtney just looked at me, her eyes so wide, biting her bottom lip, riding out her Big O. I came deep up her pussy, pushing all the way in, my cock spasming, spurting my cream far up her cunt.

I pulled Courtney down to me and sucked those sweet tits. I slapped her ass, squeezing it roughly, sucking those 32B's greedily. I swallowed her milk, enjoying the flavor. I slapped that ass again, eliciting a sexy moan from my slutty fuck buddy. I kept sucking her tits, drinking her milk and playing with her nice ass.

There was a knock on the door. I got up, nude, and answered it. It was Bernadette's husband, Howard. "Hey James, Bernie's parents are with the kids, so I thought id get out of the house for a little while. Wanna go grab a bite to eat?" He looked over and saw Courtney on the sofa, nude. "Is... Is that, Courtney Love, nude on your couch?" I looked over at her and winked and looked back at Howard.

"Yeah... looks like her."

"Holy crap, I love her. Can I meet her?"

"If you've got $500, she'll blow you. Cost you $2000 for a full fuck."

"Are you serious?"

"Dude, I never kid about money or pussy. I'm her pimp."

He reached in his wallet and pulled out $500. I let him in and introduced him to Courtney. She was high and smiling from out fucking, so she was in a real good mood. "He paid for a BJ babe."

"Oh yeah... You want me to suck your cock baby?"

"Um... Uh... Yeah. That would be so cool. I'm a huge fan."

Courtney reached over and squeezed his cock through his skin tight light blue pants. "Mmmmmm, I wanna suck it baby. Make sure you jizz in my mouth. I fucking love it." Courtney teased him in her sexiest, sluttiest voice. She's a sexy bitch for sure. She unzipped Howard's pants. He was nervous about getting blown in front of me, but he relaxed when Courtney started licking his small dick from tip to base. I watched and smoked. I love watching Courtney in action. I rubbed my cock, as she sucked his small weiner down easily. She deepthroated Howard quickly, licking all over his shaft as her head flew up and down it. Howard smiled so big and goofy. He was fucking loving it. He grabbed Courtney's hair and roughly fucked her mouth. Courtney moaned in her sexiest voice, giving him the full show, playing with her tits, licking his balls while he fucked her mouth.

I took a few pics for the hell of it. Howard grunted, smiled his biggest/foodies smile and came in Courtney's mouth. He pumped his, bigger than expected, load into her sexy mouth. Courtney collected it all in her mouth. She emptied his balls and looked up at him. She opened her mouth, showed him all his jizz in there and swallowed it all. She smacked her lips loudly and opened her mouth showing him it was all gone. She kissed his cock and licked the tip repeatedly.

"That was the best $500 I've ever spent." Howard shook my hand and thanked me. He was so happy. I chuckled.

"Hey Howard, why don't you give Courtney a ride home... I'm sure she'll be grateful." I decided to help him out. He agreed and they left. Howard drove her home on his scooter. (Laughing) That had to be a sight. A high Courtney Love on the back of a scooter. I knew he was a good driver, so I was OK with it. I didn't want anything to happen to my buddy... Or Howard. Courtney called me later and told me she took him into her house and blew him again, as a thank you. She knows how to please.

Penny was still out when my mom came over. We chatted, she complained about dad. I tried to cheer her up and make her smile. I told her a few jokes and we hugged. I love my mom, not just for the sex... or even for the motherly love reason, she's just a really cool person and she makes me happy. I have a special bond with my mom... She's also super fucking hot.

"James, why can't your father be like you? You're so sweet and handsome, loving... Your cock is so beautiful. You know his is weird looking...

"Mom, I don't need to hear this... About his weird cock... the other stuff is fine." She giggled. We smoked and drank some Maker's Mark, it's her favorite. Mom can smoke a blunt too. She toked that thing hard. We passed it and I watched her smoke. Those beautiful red lips, tightly clenching that blunt, her tongue barely licking it, as she took it out of her mouth and passed it to me. FUCK, she's sexy. I rubbed her leg. She was wearing a short yellow, flower print mini dress and yellow heels. Her dark brown hair brushed back, flowing just past her shoulders.

I got a text from Penny. She and Bernadette were shopping. She sent me pictures of them trying on clothes. My girl making me smile. They tried on bras, taking braless and bra on, selfies. They were in the same dressing room making out and filming it. She sent me the videos too. Mom took my cock out and stroked it. I showed her the pictures. We laughed, looking g at them while she jerked my cock. Penny had called a male clerk in and surprised him as he opened the dressing room door, snapping a pic of him staring at their naked tits. Penny filmed Bernadette fucking herself with her dildo. She voiced it, giving very hot commentary. "Take that fake cock you big titty slut." And, "You know you want my man's big cock in that pussy bitch, say it!"

"Mmmmmmmmm, yes I want it. I want James' big cock in my pussy... And my ass... My mouth... In between my big tits... Everywhere! I want it so fucking bad. I wanna be his bitch. Please let me Penny."

Damn, I was turned on. I pulled my mom's clothes off and sat her wet pussy on my raging boner. I bounced her mercilessly on my cock. Mom loved it, "Mmmmmm, YES BABY!! FUCK MAMA!! FUCK ME!!" Her wet, tight gripping snatch bounced so perfectly on my insanely hard dick. Her pussy wrapped my cock with her loving, lustful embrace. I lovingly pounded the fuck out of my mother's cunt. She shot out her cum all over my cock and I fucked her soaking wet pussy faster, drilling my big dick super fucking fast up that mature snatch. Mom squirted again. I fucked her even faster.

My lust for my mother drove me to fill her sweet snatch with my cream. I kept thumping her dripping wet, mature pussy as fucking hard as possible. "I'M CUMMMMINGGGGGGG AGAIN!!" Mom blasted her Big O out that pussy so fucking hard. It flew all over me and the couch. I thumped that twat even fucking faster and harder. Mom kept cumming and I kept fucking. I sucked her C cups hungrily, swallowing her sweet milk, mouthful after mouthful. I pulled my head back and she pulled her nipples hard, shooting her milk all over my face and licking it off. GOT DAMN!! I was horny for my mother. I pounded the fuck outta that pussy til it was puddin'. She fucking loved every fucking second. "OH MY GODDDDDDDDD, I'M CUMMMMINGGGGGGG AGAINNNNNN MY GORGEOUS SON!!" Mom squirted insanely hard, blasting every inch of my stomach, crotch and thighs... The couch and floor too. I picked her off of my cock and watched her pussy blast everything. It shot juice all over everything.