This is it, everyone! This chapter will be lighter on the sex, because it's time for the climax (the plot kind). If you haven't gotten that comic book logic and crazy sex fantasy rules are in effect yet, it is probably too late!
*****
Dealing with three of the assassins had been a very pleasurable experience, but Superman was stumped on the last. Clayface was a minor criminal with reasonable dangerous powers for a human, but when Superman tried to find an angle to defeat him via sex, his mind kept sliding away. In the end, Superman didn't want him to hurt anyone, so he decided to just end things the old-fashioned way.
Not long after he decided that, Clayface decided to start taking citizens hostage to draw out Superman. That wasn't a coincidence. Superman whisked the citizens to safety with a slight smile on his face. The world seemed so much clearer now.
"Superman!" Once Clayface realized that Superman had stolen all his hostages, he reformed into a muddy giant and aimed one massive finger in his direction. "As soon as I take your head, I-"
"Who are you?"
"I am Clayface! I will be the one to defeat you after-"
"No, I really meant that: who are you?" Superman folded his arms and watched his opponent calmly. "What's your real name?"
"Are you an idiot? It does you know good to know my name is... Matt? Matt... Payne?" Clayface's eyes slowly widened in existential horror. "No, that's... not right... or is it? Who am I?"
Superman frowned as he examined the supervillain. "That's not an easy question for any of us, but you're a real mess. Why so many versions?"
"What are you talking about?" Clayface stumbled forward, trying to grab at him, but Superman floated back. With each step, Clayface dwindled a little more and grew more desperate. "Who am I?"
As he managed to look through the chaotic cloud of stories, Superman realized that there had actually been a female version of Clayface. But he'd already encountered this one, it wouldn't make sense for him to abruptly change. They were technically different people, yet Superman wasn't sure if Lady Clayface really existed. Would she come to exist if he thought about it hard enough?
"That's far enough, you crook!"
The words were shouted in a voice that Superman would have considered cheesy even in his prime. Everything flowed strangely slow as he looked up and spotted a costumed man. He had blond hair and a bright red suit, but his trunks and a strangely artificial-looking pair of wings were black. No superhero that Superman knew, and when he tried to examine him as a story he saw almost nothing. Someone new? Or something else entirely?
At that moment the man leapt from his position, swinging on a rope toward Clayface's back. His rather slow kick should have done no damage whatsoever, yet somehow Clayface went down immediately. The man landed on his feet and put his hands on his hips.
"Another bad guy off the streets!"
"Uh..." Superman stepped forward and stuck out a hand. "Thanks for the help. Nice to meet-"
"No!" The man slapped his hand down. "I'll not shake your hand, villain! You've perverted the genius story created by Lord Kane! This isn't what Batman is supposed to be about!"
For a moment Superman just stared at his hand. The blow hadn't hurt, but it
had
moved his hand. His eyes narrowed and he focused in a way he hadn't in months. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not Batman."
"No,
I
am!" The bright red man jabbed a thumb at his chest and puffed it out as he returned his hand to his hips. Superman stared at him, his jaw dropping a little. After a long moment he managed to pull himself together.
"No, there is absolutely no way you're Batman."
"
I am Batman!
The original, created by Lord Kane! It's time to put an end to all of this perversion and return to the purity of the original, created by Lord Kane!"
So this "Batman" was a creation of this Lord Kane? That was a bad sign, because Superman remembered the name being used by the Writer as one of the Creators. The one they weren't supposed to contact. He still hadn't thought of any way to move them to an alternate reality, but it seemed like his time was about to run out.
"Answer me, villain!" The not-Batman raised a finger in his direction. "Or you will answer to Batman, created by Lord Kane!"
"Do you have to say that every single-"
A fist struck Superman's face and he hurtled backward. Multiple buildings splintered around him as the force of the blow sent him directly through them. It had
hurt
. The blow hadn't held any great power, yet it had still affected him. His arc plunged into the ground and Superman plowed through several blocks before finally bringing himself to a halt.
Moments later, the not-Batman swung in on a rope. "Your defeat will be at the hands of Batman, created by-"