Chapter 1 - Over
Bella's breath sped up faster.
Each time
his
eyes met hers, her heart would race out of control, causing her breaths to shorten and increase their pace. Then she would lower her eyes down to her plate or softly shake her head to clear it of the horrifying thoughts and treasonous desires within, turning to make conversation.
It wasn't a surprise to Bella that her plate was still more than half full. Her nerves were too twitchy and her muscles too tense to worry about something trivial as eating. A perfectly natural reaction to having dinner with your husband, right? Well, dinner with your husband, his boss and her husband.
She stole another quick glance towards
him
. His eyes were lit with a fire she had come to know all too well this past month. And just as she was about to turn towards her husband and ask him if he wanted some more wine, she saw
his
tongue slide along his lower lip slowly, seductively, his meaning all too clear. Bella shuddered and felt tingles all throughout her body as she remembered that tongue on her skin, in her mouth, tasting her.
"Bella?"
Bella's head snapped to her name. "Yes?"
She quickly saw
him
trying to hold back his laughter, an amused smirk settling onto his face, before she turned to her husband. She hated him. She really did.
"Sweetie, I was saying that Ness invited us to join her and Jacob at their house down the shore next weekend. Would you like to go?"
Bella's heart faltered. Oh God. Close quarters for a near forty eight hours with her own personal walking temptation? With both her husband and
his
wife there? Bella felt her palms start to sweat, a natural response to her fear. She had become someone she didn't recognize these past four weeks, her behavior shocking and uncontrollable. How was she going to control herself for those two hellish days? Pure unadulterated torture, that's what it was. Though if he ever got them a moment alone.....
"Bella?"
She was jolted from her fantasy at her husband's concerned and insistent tone. She forced a small smile onto her face and batted her eyes at him. Sure enough, the tight line that his lips had formed into relaxed into her favorite crooked smile of his. It always seemed to work when she did that. "Sure, honey. That sounds like fun."
Ness chimed in, "Great. It's settled then. Bella, it will be so much fun. You'll have a great time, I promise."
Bella flashed her small smile at the woman on her right before turning it back onto her husband. She couldn't look at
him
. Not yet.
Edward's smile grew bigger and he grabbed her hand and squeezed, lingering there, silently thanking her. She knew this was important to him, how grateful he would be to have her there. She squeezed back. He then brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it reverently; a stabbing twinge of guilt tore into her heart at the loving action. He really did love her.
She sighed softly, a mixture of contentment and sadness. She loved him, too. She truly did, but she couldn't help herself. She hated herself for being so selfish, so helpless against
him
. She despised her very being for breaking her vows to this man, over and over again.
She felt the familiar stinging at the corners of her eyes and the unwelcome lump forming in her throat at the cool temperature of the skin engulfing her fingertips. She was dirty, tainted. How could she have ever let another man's lips, fingers caress her skin? How could she let someone brand her time and time again, taste her? How could she when she had this gorgeous, faithful, loving and kind man waiting at home for her?
She was definitely the scum of the earth. No, even lower than that, way lower.
She tried to swallow past the lump as she stared into her husband's tender green eyes. She didn't deserve him.
"So Edward, ahem, how's the Hoffman account coming along?"
For the first time that evening, Bella was grateful for Ness' presence. Edward gently released her hand and turned to answer the question. Once he was engrossed in the work-related topic, then and only then did she venture a look over at
him
. And what she saw there took her breath away.
His dark eyes were on fire and tight, his jaw set and he looked to be almost....shaking? He was angry, that much was obvious.
She shot him a pleading look. Why was he so angry? What the hell?
His eyes narrowed further as he stared at her, his face getting even darker. Crap. He was angry at her, but why?
His shaking got worse, almost to the point where Bella began to wonder if he was in the beginning throes of a seizure. And then just as quickly as the tremors had come, they disappeared; the shaking stopped. Although his eyes never left her, she glanced down to find Ness' hand on top of his, stroking gently, in an almost absent-minded manner as she continued the conversation with Edward. She raised her eyes back to
his
face. He seemed....calmer. He was still angry but not nearly as much.
The good old ugly monster of jealousy rose up in her. The pleasant feelings she had felt toward Ness earlier now dissipated with each stroke of her hand on Jacob's. She wanted to claw the woman's eyes out.
She did her best to conceal her frustration and rage, tearing her eyes from Jacob's and pushing her fork around her plate. But he had seen it. He had always been able to read her frighteningly well. One quick glance back at him told her he knew. And he was reveling in it.
She saw his jaw unclench and a wicked grin appeared, with an angry yet amused glint in his eyes. His hand grabbed Ness' and began to rub hers gently, tenderly, sensually.
Bella felt her heart thump faster and her pulse race with the hatred she felt right now for the woman to her right and the man sitting facing her who seemed to encourage it with each ministration.
He slowly brought his wife's hand to his lips and kissed it slowly, forcing the blood to rush to Bella's face and making Ness' breath hitch, interrupting the conversation. Ness turned her hand and placed it on his cheek, looking at him lovingly. Jacob returned the expression making Bella feel like she was going to be sick. What he did next made Bella's heart drop and shatter into a million pieces, allowing a much darker and more sinister form to take its place in her chest. He kissed Ness' open palm and whispered. "I love you, baby. You and only
you
."
Ness smiled, completely oblivious to Edward and Bella's presence in the room. A flush began to form on her beautiful features. Bella knew that flush all too well.
She wanted to scream! To throw her plate at Jacob! Demand these people leave her house at once, letting the door hit them on their asses on the way out! She wanted to slap him, hit him, punch him even! Knowing her, she'd break her hand but she didn't care. How dare he do this in front of her? What was his problem?
But, she knew she couldn't do any of these things. When she saw Ness lean in and kiss Jacob chastely, she swallowed quickly and turned to her husband. "Edward, I'm going to start the coffee and begin cleaning up. Would you like some more wine in the meantime?"
Edward was all too happy to be distracted from the loving silent exchange between the two people in front of him. He had never been one for PDA and neither had Bella. He smiled
her
smile. "No, I'm okay, love. I'll help you, give these two a minute to themselves." He flashed his grin at the couple who weren't paying attention to anyone or anything except each other. Bella rolled her eyes and wanted to heave.
As she made her way into the kitchen carrying hers and Edward's plates, her husband graciously grabbed the other two plates unbeknownst to the couple. Once they were in the kitchen dumping everything into the sink, Bella couldn't hold it in any longer. "Should I bother getting dessert ready or are they just going to go at it right on the table in front of us?"
Edward stared at her in shock. She knew he was uncomfortable being in there watching the horrendous display just as much as she was but it was obvious he didn't share her anger. She normally would have checked at the venom in her tone but she was beyond all rational thought currently; she was furious.
"Bella, they've only been married for six months. They're still in the honeymoon phase, to some extent. There's bound to be more public displays, I should think. It wasn't that long ago that
we
were still in that stage."
He gave her a pointed look, forcing her to drop her eyes and focus on the dishes she was washing. He was right. They
had
been in that stage not too long ago. Sometimes, Bella wished she knew how to get back there.
She closed her eyes briefly, willing the guilt and shame away. She opened them and began to wash the dish in her hand for the second time. "I'm just saying it's a little much. And if you ask me, it's completely unprofessional. She works with you, for crying out loud."