Disclaimer: Star Wars is the sole property of Lucasfilm, LTD. The following piece was written for entertainment purposes only and not for profit.
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Rumors are fascinating things. Little oddments of information, whether false or true, that come alive. Rumors can fly like whispered locusts through the aristocratic fields of cultured boredom and political intrigue, and can grow more heads than an Ibanjii mire snake with every passing murmur. And, if wielded correctly, a rumor can be a weapon more devastating than ten Death Stars combined.
This particular rumor could not have hit at a better—or worse—time, depending on one's own point of view. Just days before the Coronation Day Ball and the Throneworld's anniversary, when hundreds of thousands of the Empire's sycophantic privileged were already descending upon the city-planet of Coruscant, the hushed gossip had begun to broaden. Where it began, no one was entirely certain, but after a few days of circulation, why should that matter anyway?
Which was exactly what Prince Xizor had hoped for.
"So, have you heard, Lord Xizor?"
The Falleen prince lazily lifted his attention from the mouthpiece of his harga pipe and turned it to the fatuous Bimm lady lounging at the other side of the pillowed pit. "Heard what, Lady Umba?"
The stumpy, velvet-swathed furred alien tittered, as did the rest of the group sprawled around the towering waterpipe. "Oh come now, Xizor, if there is anyone who has his finger on the pulse of Coruscant's elite, it's you," she said as she brought her end to her lips.
"Why," piped a lanky human female with an impossible hairdo, "I heard it weeks ago already, on Corellia."
"Weeks ago, you say?" Xizor asked. "Simply amazing." Considering Guri just leaked it four days ago. "Well, don't I feel out of the loop?" He took a long, slow drag of harga smoke through his mouthpiece, blowing it out in intricate rings, watching them break against the sumptuous tapestries hovering above. He raised an eyebrow. "Well, do tell—or are you ladies just teasing me...again?"
The silly duo both chirped titters and turned over their shoulders to make sure no one—or everyone—in the private member-only drug den would hear before they whispered in unison, "Darth Vader has taken a MISTRESS!"
"No!" Xizor whispered with believable disbelief.
"Yes!" they both replied.
"No!"
"YES!"
"Well, pull my ears and call me a Twi'lek!" Xizor chuckled. The inebriated pair howled with laughter. Bringing his drink of potent mandragori to his lips, he glanced about the drug den to make POSITIVELY sure they were being heard before he continued. "Are you quite sure?"
"Well," huffed the bony human, patting the tower that was her hair, "can you explain where he was for three months after the Battle of Yavin? Rumor has it he found solace the arms of a lower Hapian princess!"
"No!" Xizor whispered.
"Yes!"
"No!" exclaimed another female, a feline-like Jazbanin, whose head popped up from a neighboring pit, "She's a Dathomir witch!"
"What?" shrieked the females with uproarious laughter.
A twisted smile spread across Xizor's face. "And where did you get THAT information, Contessa? It seems a bit far fetched."
"It only makes sense," the lanky Contessa purred, "Lord Vader would choose a woman as close to his kind as possible, wouldn't he?"
"No, no, no!" corrected the fuzzy Bimm, "she's an Enforcer! With His Majesty's Inquisition!"
Xizor grinned a slow smile. "And you know this how, Lady Umba?"
"I saw it on the holonet, on the Society channel. Ingor Riann's show! He actually parked outside what he thought was her complex, and broadcasted live! So it must be true! He even reported that she would be at the Coronation ball tonight! He said that the Emperor himself sent her an invitation!"
"No!" shrieked the women.
"Yes!" Lady Umba shrieked back.
Xizor's smile grew even wider. Excellent work, my dearest Guri, he thought to himself as the drugged and drunken society women cackled and yelped at each other. The information his android spy had discovered and leaked had actually made it to the holonet—and the Society channel no less. Oh, this was turning out better than he had planned.