Dr. Phlox followed Archer as they entered the mess hall just in time to see the door to the captain's dining room close. On the floor about a foot away from the door lay Danaë's 24th century PADD where she had apparently dropped it. He picked it up and turned it over to find it open to a video of her dancing with her father to ' Dream a Little Dream with Me'. They were dressed in attire from the ancient nineteen-forties with her father sporting a tuxedo that had a white jacket and her decked out in a gown of silver silk and looking very young. He remembered her telling him about this future captain and how he would encounter creatures that would control him and strip him of all he was. This had to be what she was thinking of. Yet if she was recalling this memory then Archer hoped that she would also remember how her father had been rescued and would eventually defeat the very enemy that had once hurt him.
Archer turned off the PADD the way he had seen her do it a thousand times before, then asked Dr. Phlox for the hypospray. Of the two of them, the captain felt he had a better chance of getting close enough to her to use it, but he still wanted the doctor close by, just in case. The small dining room was dark when they entered and Archer couldn't make out a thing. He started to turn on the light only to stop when he heard her desperate voice beg him not to.
After his earlier talk with Dr. Phlox, the captain knew the lieutenant was in a fragile state and wisely left the lights as they were. Instead, he allowed his eyes to begin adjusting to the darkness. At first all he could make out was the soft glow of two small white lights above a larger red one and a series of green bars across the top. In this faint illumination he could see that they were attached to an object that she was holding in her hand. He didn't know what it was, but it looked like an arched handle that formed into a squared cone shape reminiscent of a cobras head. As his eyes adjusted more he was able to see the silhouette of Danaë curled up on the floor beneath one of the windows. Looking at the object, Archer suspected it came from her time rather than his and a feeling in his gut told him that he needed to get it away from her.
"Lieutenant, why aren't you in sickbay?" he asked, but she didn't answer. Her face was turned to the window looking out at the stars. "Danaë... Dani"
"I wanted to see the stars."
"I don't suppose you'll tell me what you're holding." He started to take a step towards her and in response she placed the tip of the device just beneath her chin causing him to stop.
"It's a phaser. I carried this one and another just like from one end of the earth to the other. It has a stun setting just like a phase pistol as well as a kill setting. The difference is, when you set this one to maximum... it will vaporize you instantly. It's like you never even existed." A tear slid from her eye and she lowered her phaser. "Do you suppose it hurts to be dead forever? I know it hurts to be alive."
"What are you thinking about?" he asked, though he suspected he knew the answer.
"I don't want to think. It hurts to think." Danaë closed her eyes trying to push away the demons she could feel surrounding her. "I am in more pain than I have ever felt in my entire life."
"Let Dr. Phlox help you."
"Help me?... help me?" she barely whispered as she pressed her palms against her temples for a moment in an attempt to silence the thunder in her head.
"Dani..." he started to stay, but she quickly pulled her hands from her head and changed the subject, afraid that he might dissuade her from what she was thinking about.
"Did I ever tell you that I was an accomplished horsewoman?"
"Yes you did," he smiled gently.
"My father taught me to ride on the holodeck of his ship. He was so proud when I finally beat him." She wiped away a couple of stray tears and momentarily stiffened from the pain. "Once, while I was in Victoria Australia I got to go rock climbing and the guide wanted me to use the pre-placed bolts, but I refused. I was determined to make it there with as little assistance as possible." Danaë closed her eyes and rested the back of her head against the wall. "Another time I got to go deep sea diving at a place called 'The Blue Hole' on the coast of the Red Sea in Dahab, Egypt. A lot of divers never made it out of there, but I did." Archer used the opportunity to slowly move forward.
"You'll be able to do all of those things again."
"Will I?" she cried. " I barely made it this far." she stopped as her body stiffened up in agony.
"It'll just take time. Dr. Phlox has assured me that there are a lot of techniques and therapies to help you with the pain and give you back your full range of motion again." He wanted her to see that things weren't as bleak as they appeared, but instead he was met with the sound of her sobs.
"I-I can't remember my mother's face. I had so little memory of her anyway and now it's all gone. I had to play footage from my sixteenth birthday so I could recall my father's voice."
"Your memories will come back. You just have to be patient," he assured her.
"Dr. Phlox can't guarantee that I'll ever be what I was, nor can you," she cried, turning her gaze back to the stars. " Oh God, it's so hard to think through the pain." Danaë put her hands on either side of her head and squeezed her eyes shut as desperately tried to make her physical suffering stop. Softly she whispered sadly, "I just want it to go away."
"It will, but you have to fight. That's who you are. You've never been afraid of anything in your life. You don't run from storms, you shake your fist and scream curses at it. Remember? Chaotic normalcy, that's what you called it. Draw the line here! No further! Stand your ground and don't you dare blink."
"I-I can't..."
"Yes you can. I know it feels like it, but you're not alone. You have friends who care about you, Trip, Malcolm, Dr. Phlox and... and me. I care about you." Fresh sobs poured from her as she shook her head in disbelief. "If you have to, then lean on me and we'll get through this together." He took another step and for a moment he was sure she noticed, but she didn't move. "There is still so much you can still do. Let me help you."
"How can I ever trust myself again?" She turned her head and looked at him. His eyes had fully adjusted to the darkness and he could see the anguish on her face and the tears freely flowing from her eyes. "How can I possibly expect anyone else to trust me?"
"You can't blame yourself for what the Xindi or that 'thing' did." At this Danaë bowed her head in utter heartbreak and shame. Seeing his chance he took two more steps forward.
