Chapter Two -- Therapeutic
I sat in the lotus position in front of my Buddha shrine. I had David's shirt resting in my lap, folded neatly with the design face up. I closed my eyes and couldn't believe that it had already been weeks since our encounter. I missed him. It was strange, but I really missed him. I picked up his shirt and held it to my nose, sniffing the fading scent of his sweat and cologne. A sharp pain went through my chest. I always believed that things happened for a reason, but I didn't know where to go from here. I went to the Coffee Bean for a week after I bumped into David, but he never showed. I made friends with the girl that took our order when he bought me my iced coffee, and she kept an eye out for him for me. I had to fly back home to Vancouver soon after, and I had felt so dejected.
Immigrating to America seemed an impossible feet. It would take years for me to raise the money just to file for an application. I knew I had to find another option, and I knew what I had to do in order to make it happen. I got off my meditation pillow and set the shirt on the edge of my bed. I moved my finger over the cursor pad to bring my laptop back to life. I sent a video chat request to Elle, she answered a moment later. "Hello, darling!" she answered when everything had loaded.
"How do you feel about harboring an illegal immigrant?" I asked seriously. "I can't stop thinking about David. I believe things happen for a reason. If I'm going to see David again, then I need to do what it takes to move forward and make that happen."
Elle's eyes widened but she didn't miss a beat, "I believe that you'll find David again. It will happen when it's supposed to happen. You can't force something like that. I love you. You know I'd do anything for you. I have a spare mattress with your name on it. You get your ass over here. We'll live our lives like normal, and we'll embrace what happens. Do you understand me?"
"I certainly do. I'll see you next week!" I grinned.
I have been living with Elle in Huntington Beach for almost a month now. I haven't gone back to the Santa Monica pier yet, but every day I was tempted. I knew I wouldn't find him there. Though I didn't promise Elle that I would try to just live my life, I was trying really hard to do just that. I often hated myself for feeling something so intensely for him. It was getting in the way of thinking rationally, and I had always been a rational person. Sometimes I found myself doing things I thought might lead me to him again. I looked up auditions because I thought if I got back into that business then I might happen across him again. I knew it was stupid, so I stopped.
I actually didn't have a problem with getting a real job, despite my status as an illegal immigrant. I worked at my favorite restaurant where the people were really chill and it was just a hop, skip and a jump from the water's edge. I started to feel genuinely happy, especially when I gave Elle my first month of official rent. She thought it was hilarious that I was so happy about it. It was really cheap rent, but I was glad to be helping somehow.
Elle and I decided to wake up early this morning because it was supposed to be a great day for surfing. I recently became acquainted with the ocean water again, so surfing wasn't for me. I pulled on my swim suit and a pair of board shorts. Elle let me borrow her old surf board and we paddled out together. I stayed a good distance away from the true surfers, and I let myself adjust to being back on the board and in the ocean. Jeremy, a friend of Elle, sat next to me on his board. He was a very kind guy, and he was very attractive. He liked the quiet like I did, which was why our friendship was so perfect. We sat in silence and watched as Elle decided to catch this wave. There was a look for pure admiration on Jeremy's face as he watched her.
"You couldn't be any more obvious," I told him.
He looked at me with a small smile on his face. "I don't know what you're talking about." He deflected my turn of the conversation by pulling it in another direction. "Elle never told me why you're afraid of the ocean. I didn't ask because I felt like you should be the one to tell me. You're doing really well with adjusting to the water again. We were wading to our waist just last week, now you're sitting on the board above the depths of it. I'm proud of you, Irie." I stayed silent, but I could feel myself smiling a little. I was proud of myself, too.
"I won't make you get into the water today, but I want you to tell me the story behind this fear."
My body moved with the water, bobbing up and down gently. I looked at Jeremy but he wasn't looking at me. He watched the distance, but I knew he was watching Elle with Charlie.
"Did you know that I don't celebrate my birthday?" I asked.
"No, I don't celebrate mine either. I don't like the idea of getting older. I try to ignore it. I'm already approaching thirty. Scary," Jeremy winked at me. "Why don't you celebrate it?"
"My dad woke me up really early on my seventeenth birthday with a surprise for me. My mom slept silently in their bedroom, the windows were open and the sounds of the ocean filtered into the house. The sky was still dark but lightening every minute. My dad told me to zip up my wet suit and come outside. Back then, I slept in my bathing suit so I had more time in the ocean but my birthday is in the fall so it's a lot colder then. I started to sleep in my wet suit, unzipped and folded down to my waist. I found him at the storage shed, the light was on. I went inside and saw something lying on the table he used to wax his boards. There, on that table, was a brand new surf board. It had a big red bow on it. I remember feeling so happy about it. We could never afford much growing up, so I always used hand-me-down boards. To finally have a board of my own, and to know they had been saving up for it, meant a lot to me. I never asked for much because I'd always been a relatively happy person growing up." I paused for a moment.
"Your parents seem like really cool people," Jeremy said.
I smiled down at my hands. "Dad and I paddled out and sat there as the sun began to rise over the horizon. It was a really beautiful morning. We talked while we floated there; neither of us liked surfing in the dark but my mom loved it. It was a surprisingly clear day for Vancouver when the sun rose into the sky. The air was crisp, despite the shining sun. I caught the first epic wave because it was my birthday, after all. We spent a couple hours surfing. I knew soon we would be getting hungry, and mom would have something cooking. Before we decided to turn in, I let my dad have the last wave. It was a big wave, too. The biggest we'd caught all morning. By then, other people had joined us. They were our friends so no one fought my dad for the wave. His form was perfect. I don't know what happened but he stumbled from his board, the wave crashing down on him. We all have had this happen to us before; we knew how to handle situations like this. There were no other huge waves following this one, and when the water cleared, his board was there... but he wasn't with it. My friends and I waited anxiously for him to surface but he never did."