Seinfeld: to Save the Friendship

George has been dating a girl who has been ill and unable to have sex. As a result, George found that as his consumption of sex has decreased, his intelligence increased, with his mind having more time to ponder other subjects.

Elaine suffered the opposite predicament. Her boyfriend, a medical student, was desperately studying for a licensing exam he failed three previous times. Elaine who was very smart offered her help with his studies. Though she was glad to help, she did not know it would leave no time for sex. As days grew into weeks then into months, she found that her decrease in sexual activity was directly proportional to herself becoming dumber, easily confused and slow witted.

To be continued:

Jerry was on his couch watching the Yankees when he heard his buzzer.

“Yeah, who’s there." “It’s me” the female voice replied. Jerry recognized the voice. “Come up." He buzzed her in. and went back to the couch.

Elaine walked in with a dull and confused look on her face. She sat at the end of the couch apprehensive and played with her fingers.

“Jerry I need help. I’m dumb as a post. I got lost going home from work today."

“Yeah, I know. By the way, George is giving a lecture at the community college. I give it three weeks before girl scouts have to feed you and George cures cancer," Jerry said sarcastically.

“It’s amazing, you get dumber and he gets smarter. Who would have thunk it. How long has it been since you two, well, you know”

“I don’t know, maybe, well, the butter in my refrigerator was still good before. How long is butter good for?

"Maybe three or four weeks," he replied. “Wow, you turned pretty quick. I thought guys were supposed to have sex on the mind," Jerry laughing as he spoke.

Elaine, leaning forward, looking at the floor, her head between her knees, pulling at her fingers and acting almost as if she was a junkie suffering from withdraws.

“Jerry, are you busy now?"

I’m watching the game. What do you think I’m doing. Why what’s up?

I can’t do this any longer. I’m counting on my fingers. I can’t make change. I might get fired from my job!

What, what do you want?, he asked

Elaine, turning her head slowly towards Jerry and raising her eyebrows, “Well, um, well, I thought, you and I, like old times, you know. What do you think?

Shocked, Jerry pauses and says “Are you serious, come on really? Elaine with a sly grin and biting her lip,

“I just thought."

“Elaine, I can’t, you know, we’re friends now."

She paused then asked, “What is Kramer doing, is he home? You’re serious aren’t you, he cried. As he spoke, she was already walking across the hall to Kramer’s apartment.

Jerry returned to the baseball game.

Kramer wasn’t home. Sexually frustrated, she turned back to Jerry’s door. She noticed Newman fumbling his keys trying to enter his apartment... She paused, took a deep breath and glanced at Jerry’s door.

Jerry continued to watch the game. He noticed some mail he forgot to send by the TV stand. Between innings, he got up and grabbed the letters then headed down the hall to the mail slot.

He heard voices, a male and female. But he did not care. The less he saw or knew of Newman the better and continued to the mail slot.

Newman rarely had female guests. But the one person above all he dreamed about sexually was on her knees right now giving him a hand job. He looked down past his large belly and gazed into her eyes, at her soft curly black hair and delicate white throat as she rhythmically stroked his modest prick.

He began to groan as he felt her quicken the pace, tightened her grip and he saw her begin to lick her dark ruby lips in anticipation.

"Swallow it already," he yelled in a quivering voice.

"Be patient Newmy," she softly whispered.

Jerry started back to his apartment after mailing the letters. He rounded the corner past Newman’s door when he heard what sounded like someone groaning coming from Newman’s apartment. Newman’s door was cracked as he passed by.

It sounded like Newman’s voice. But he continued on his way until halfway to his apartment when he heard that same voice cry out "ooooh Elaine!"

She slowly opened her mouth, smiled and seductively whispered, “Are you ready for me Newmy?"

WHAT THE FUCK! he thought to himself. He turned a sprinted back to Newman’s apartment and pushed open the door.

Elaine was on her knees, shirt off, bra undone and beginning to swallow Newman.

Jerry screamed, “Elaine, what the fuck!”

Startled, Elaine screamed, “Jerry, oh my God?”

“Elaine, get that cock out of your hand!” Jerry yelled.

“Seinfeld get the hell out of here!” Newman yelled.

But Newman was in no position to fight, his shorts and pants wrapped around ankles. Jerry grabbed her wrist, pulled her off her knees and down the hall to his apartment.

Jerry threw her into his apartment. Her head was down. She was embarrassed, shocked at being caught and unsatisfied, even if it was Newman.

“Newman! I can’t believe it!

“Oh Jerry," she sighed.

“To think your hand has touched both of our dicks makes me ill." “Just tell me he didn’t get a blow job or we can no longer be friends."

"No." “Are you sure Elaine?” "Yes."

Elaine sat back on the couch took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. They didn’t speak. Three innings went by. Jerry fidgeted, very upset. Elaine was still hungry and unsatisfied. Unfed, she boldly approached Jerry.

In an almost whining voice, “Come on Jerry."

"Elaine, you’re still talking about this?"

“Please, Jerry, I’m an idiot, moron, you’ve seen me, I’ll get fired. Yesterday, I needed a dictionary to know how if there were two letter E’s in the word knee”

Still upset, he rose and said “Yes, Elaine you can suck me off!." “You should have told me you were that desperate." Succumbing to pressure and becoming a little aroused he reluctantly agreed. “Well. Ooookay but won’t this affect our friendship?”

Elaine shrieked. “No Jerry, it’s a one time thing. Now let’s get started. Let's go!." She jumped at Jerry.

Easy Elaine, he cried. She took off her top and started to unbuckle her belt while walking towards his bedroom.

“Stop, Elaine, can we do it in here, the game is almost over."

Jerry sitting on the couch trying to get as much of the game as possible paused and said, “Elaine is a hand job or blowjob good enough to clear your head. I really want to see this."

Elaine in the middle of undoing her bra yelled, “What! You don’t want to miss the game! I’m offering you sex and you are more interested in baseball. How bad am I, Jerry?”

“It’s not you honey. Look, baby, you know you got it. You can compete with the best of them. Your great but playoff games are once a year” Jerry said trying to console her.

“What do you think?”

“You’re a jerk” she exclaimed. “I don’t know if that would be enough, but let’s see." “Just sit your skinny ass down and we will see if you can get it up," she said mockingly with a. grin on her face.

Just as she finished speaking, the crowd rose for the seventh inning stretch and sang ‘Take me out to the ballgame’. On cue, Jerry rose looking down upon Elaine on her knees, with her head arched up toward his waste, he said defiantly,

“Get it up!, get it up!, well see if you can grip this bat." He then put his hands on his waist and arched his back.

His pitcher was already on the mound anxious to go. Elaine laughed quietly then became serious. Her head leaning back, with her soft black curly hair draped on her shoulders. The delicate white skin of her throat now exposed, her small fingers slowly beginning to unravel his belt.

His loose fitting pants were now taught, constricting his manhood. “Oh, Laine, you look great down there.”

“Oh, how sweet Jerry," she replied as she slowly unbuckled his belt. The pressure of his manhood against the zipper made it difficult to manipulate the latch and unzip his pants. She tried with both hands to grasp and pull down on his zipper.

She became frustrated, “Why the hell do you were such tight pants, anyway?," she asked. With a smile he replied,” they weren’t always tight Laine."

He stopped her. “Go wash your hands first and don’t use the hand that touched Newman."

She complied, racing back with her kneeling position before Jerry.

She smiled, looking up at him with her pearly white teeth. The ruby red lipstick only enhanced the brightness of her smile, the fullness of her lips and his anticipation of the next few minutes.

Her finger manipulation caused his member to become harder and lean to the left or right.

“Finally, Jesus! that was tight," she said to herself. The zipper finally unlatched. She slowly pulled down and using both hands, one on each flap of the zipper, to violently spread apart his pants.

As she opened his zipper, a wave of heat brushed her face. “Mmmmh," she murmured under her breath, as she stared at his groin. When Jerry felt the cool breeze against his groin, he stiffened, a smile slowly coming across his face.

When Elaine felt the heat off his groin, she became aroused. Even though she had modest sized breasts, her nipples were larger in proportion. They stretched the fabric, appearing to puncture the lacey white fabric.

Now back from commercial, the announcers introduced the next batter for the Yankees.

“Laine are you ready or what. When is there going to be some action?”

“Oh, be quiet. You’ll get yours," she replied.

“What’s the hold up. Come on kid, get on the ball. I don’t have all day," he said impatiently.

“Haa, haa, haa, blaa, blaa, blaa, very funny," she replied indignantly.

She the grabbed his hips and forcefully pushed him back onto the couch. Jerry, startled, lost his balance and fell back.

Now bating for the Yankees Pedro Martinez, the announcer said.

“God, so violent Laine."

“Just shut your trap," she replied. She grabbed behind his knees and pulled him slightly down the couch causing his waste to flatten, while also raising the mound under his boxer shorts.

“You know the only reason I agreed was that you didn’t touch him.” “I know," she replied.

She delicately opened the slit in his shorts. On her knees, she then wiggled up closer to the couch in-between his legs and against his crotch. Placing her elbows on his knees, with one hand, she reached into his shorts grabbing his throbbing manhood. She tenderly took his member out from its’ confinement, causing Jerry to sigh, “Ooooh, Laine."

His dick now stood straight up, Elaine’s head inches above. Licking her lips, she took a deep breath.

“Oooooh Lainie," Jerry murmured. Then, her head raised a little.

Blaring from the TV, the umpire proclaimed, batter up!

Life a horse out the racing shoot, Elaine tightened her hand firmly around Jerry’s bat, to ensure a good grip. “Batter up Jerry Baby," she whispered seductively.

The cheering baseball fans grew louder.

“Do you cork your bat Jerry," she asked whimsically while grinning up at him.

“You’re killing me Elaine,” he stammered, exasperated by her teasing and his longing for what will come.

Play ball! The umpire directed the pitcher.

Overhearing the umpire on the TV, crouched on her knees, with a wide smile and moist ruby lips, Elaine whispered up to Jerry, “Play ball indeed."

She tightened her vice like grip and slowly began to rhythmically raise and lower her hand. As she stroked, she continued to look up and smile at him licking her lips.

“I remember how you like it," she said in throaty whisper.

He stared down upon her, her eyes, her delicate throat and white skin.

There back and forth playful chatter now silent, Elaine concentrated on his hand job, while Jerry gently caressed her soft black curly hair and stroked her throat with his fingers.

Uuup, down, uuup down, she continued to rhythmically stroke him.

Jerry could no longer hear or watch the TV, his head resting on the back of the couch.

“I new I could get your mind off the game," she whispered.

Jerry groaned, “Oooh Elaine, you know I was just kidding, you give great hand jobs."

“I know, I just wanted to prove it to you,” she said grinning.

He leaned over to unbuckle her bra, “let me have a look at these and see if anything changed." She continued stroking him.

Her nipples swollen and enlarged, he began to fondle her by caressing and pinching her nipples.

“Aaaah," she moaned, “Oh Jerry, I missed that, don’t stop, I’m so aroused." Her other hand joined his in caressing her chest. “Ohhhh Jerry."

Jerry raised one hand and gently placed it against the back of her head, pushing it closer towards his crotch. Feeling a little resistance, he continued pushing down on her head.

“Jerry, just what are you doing?, she asked accusingly.

“Well, I just thought that you should try to be sure to clear your mind, that this would ensure that you would think straight," he coyly said. “I mean, do you feel any better?”

Elaine sat up, released Jerry, put her hands on her hips and said, “Pushing at my head, what are you thinking, who do you think I am?” she accused. “You want me to give you a blowjob now, is that it?”

“This is weird Elaine! Fifteen minutes ago you wanted me to fuck you and now you’re objecting to a blowjob?” he asked in bewilderment.

She was confused a little herself, “Well, uh, it’s just that we are friends and I didn’t think you would force me to do something like that," she humbly replied.

Jerry, his hands on his head exasperated, “Elaine you came to me asking for sex and as far as blowjobs are concerned, you used to come backstage after everyone of my acts and blew me whenever I did well. Remember that bump you got on your head when you sucked me off from under the table at the Comedy Store, remember?

“Yeah, kind of," she softy replied trying to remember as she scratched her head.

“Well then let me get dressed," he said starting to stand up to close his pants.

Elaine paused, sitting on her ankles while trying to collect her thoughts.

Jerry stood up still rock hard, his dick reddened from the friction of Elaine’s hand. He couldn’t zip up because his dick protruded straight out, interfering with the zipper.

Elaine saw Jerry trying to get dressed and looked up from below his waist, his dick above her chin, “Jerry, no, wait, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m just confused, you know, that’s why I came here. I told you I was a little slow."

“Don’t go, Jerry," she said wantonly.

Looking down past his dick, Elaine’s face directly underneath his member, “Sure Elaine, It’s my nature to help those in need," he replied sarcastically.

"Oh be quiet, she replied.

“Now Ms. Benice, beg me." “What," she asked.

“I want you to beg me to let you blow me," he said impatiently.

“Now cooome, on now Jerry," she whined. “I’ll do it but I won’t beg, come on now, really," she said in a spiteful tone.

“I think it’s only fair after accusing me of forcing you,” he said shamelessly. “Really?, come on now Jerry.”

“No, I’m serious. You’re always accusing me of something Elaine. And I’ll take you begging me and letting you suck me as an atonement of your sin."

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive Jerry Seinfeld." “That’s beside the point Elaine”

“Oh, all right then, fine,” she said willingly. She seductively licked her lips, puckered them and on her knees crossed her fingers. “Please, please, please Jerry, I want to give you the best blowjob, ever," she said passionately.

“Was that good enough Jerry,” she said casually.

“One more thing, I want you to swallow."

“Find another girl then," she replied defiantly.

“I’m kidding Elaine, just finish then,” he said calmly.

She grabbed hold of him again while on her knees, took a breath, licked her pouty and ruby lips then brought her head slowly forward to the tip of his crown. She paused then looked up with one eye, smiled and then enveloped his man meat. She proceed slowly at first, using her tongue on the crown of his head.

Jerry groaned, “Come on Laine I can’t stand it, swallow it already! She continued on the crown of his dick which made Jerry to try again and place his hand on the back of her head.

“Alright Jerry, she said smiling with her bright white teeth. She enveloped his dick down almost to the base. Her cheeks began to fold in with her sucking motions. The moistened ruby lipstick began to cause streaks and fold back as she rubbed against his dick.

“That’s it, just like that Laine," Jerry moaned.

Elaine picked up the pace now, her black curly hair swaying above her shoulders with the motion of her head. “Come on, come on," she mumbled impatiently to her self, his dick still in her mouth. She became more aggressive, thrusting her head against his dick.

Unable to deep throat Jerry, she rammed his dick against the back of her throat, causing her cheeks to violently protrude out as his dick was repeatedly rammed into her small mouth.

Jerry moaned, “Oaah Laine you’re the best you dirty little girl." She leaned back and temporarily stroked him so she could catch her breath.

“Oh Jerry, I’m so Horney," she replied and then asked, “Are you almost there Jerry." No keep it up."

With that brief talk over, she resumed. The slurping noises grew louder and louder. The moaning increased and suddenly a knock at the door, “Jerry, open the door buddy. It’s Kramer."

“Ooooh Jerry, what should we do," Elaine asked. “Don’t you stop Elaine. Keep sucking."

“Get the hell out of here Kramer," he yelled. What, what is the problem? In mid groan he mumbled to Kramer to get out.

Elaine never stopped. Now with one hand on his waist and the other between her legs, she used her lips to stroke him back and forth. Now there eyes met, Jerry grinning and Elaine softly squealing.

He massaged her nipples, swollen from his manipulation. The size of half dollars, they protruded outward asking to be touched.

Oooh, Jerry.

She repeatedly and forcefully thrust her head down upon him, her cheeks stretching with every thrust of her head down against his prick.

Her grip became so tight it was almost painful.

Elaine I’m going to blow. She removed his dick from her mouth and continued her hand job to wait for the inevitable. Elaine reached down into her purse with her free hand searching for tissue. Jerry groaned louder, now grunting.

Now Jerry began stroking himself by taking hold of Elaine’s hand. She continued to search for something until Jerry exclaimed, “Oh god, now," as he ejaculated, cumming into Elaine hand and onto her bra.

“Ewe Jerry, point it somewhere else," she cried as she continued to stroke and suck him. After a few more of her vice like hand strokes and squeezing of his dick, he finished in her mouth.

He sat down dripping in sweat. All his tension now relieved, he laid back on the couch watching a Victoria Secret special, the game now over.

Elaine got off her knees and slowly walked towards the bathroom sink. Once over the sink, she pulled her long soft black hair back over and behind her head, leaned over and repeatedly spit into the sink. She then gargled with mouthwash and then washed the remains of Jerry’s spunk out of her hand.

Looking down at here unclasped bra, “Great, this better come out of the fabric," Elaine complained.

Jerry became infatuated and aroused by the models.

After a few minutes she came to the couch next to Jerry, her hair still damp with sweat. She skipped her bra and pulled her t-shirt over head. The contours of her nipples were startling, due to her tight shirt.

They then looked at each other, “not bad, huh” Elaine whispered.

“One for the ages Laine," Jerry replied. “Whenever you feel stupid, I’m your man Elaine."

She laughed, “Yeah, yes, right, not bad Jerry, it has been a long time since we, you know."

“We know better now, right” he said anticipating a positive response. “How do you feel by the way?"