(Disclaimer: This is non-profit parody and entertainment for legal adults. The author claims no ownership of copyrighted material.)
GALACTIC SENATE BUILDING - CORUSCANT - 19 BBY
3 YEARS AFTER GEONOSIS
Scout didn't like the situation one bit. Born Tallisibeth Enwandung-Estherhazy on Vorzyd V, she had earned her nickname for her dedication to detail, looking at the mission from every possible angle before committing. She didn't do it to be difficult, but as a Jedi Padawan with almost no telekinetic ability she had to play every sabaac card she had, which in her line of work meant training her young body to physical perfection, mastering the art of lightsaber dueling, and always being smarter than the next girl.
Which was why she was poured into a borrowed dress short enough to be illegal in certain municipalities, perky breasts jiggling and stiletto-heeled ankle boots clicking as she hurried to keep up with the handmaidens leading the way down the Republic's hallowed halls of justice. Much had changed in the six months since her secret mission to Vjun with Grandmaster Yoda. For one, her best friend and lover Serra Keto had taken her as an apprentice, ending her fear that the High Council would banish her to the Agricultural Corps. For another, there were the constant rumors of an impending sneak attack on Coruscant itself, forcing the Supreme Chancellor to station clone troopers on every corner. Even politicians weren't safe, and when Aayla Secura learned of a plot to kidnap Senator Padmé Amidala, she quickly determined only a Jedi could bait that trap and get out in one piece.
"Milady," a Twi'lek said in passing, bowing his head respectfully.
"Senator, a pleasure to see you well again," a human said, his eyes openly exploring her slender figure and long pale legs.
She was a dozen years Amidala's junior, with vibrant red locks and bright green eyes, but nobody seemed to notice, a testament to the Senator's legendary sense of style. Even the towering Gungan staring down at her from swaying eyestalks didn't seem to notice, and he was from the woman's home planet!
"Kunta!" he spat.
Aghast, Scout turned to watch him go, feeling his rage even in the Force. "
What
did he say?" she asked in a clipped Coruscanti accent while the handmaidens shared a knowing glance.
"Better you don't know," Motée said. Amidala's senior attendant, she was younger than Scout but mature beyond her years.
Scout lifted her chin, trying to look regal while pretending not to notice the sexual tension between her and the servant. Her libido had always been infamous, but since returning from Vjun, where she had personally dueled Count Dooku, she had become something of a role model around the Temple. A little decorum was expected.
"Don't worry," Ellé said. "Aliens usually can't tell us apart; not even Gungans. Just do like Padmé and you'll be fine."
Scout raised a thin eyebrow. "You mean act like an insufferable hypocrite while spreading my legs for anything that moves?"
Motée chuckled then quickly put a hand over her mouth. Ellé's cheeks reddened.
"Exactly," they said together.
"I should have brought a shiv," Scout muttered, desperately missing her lightsaber. She was a skilled martial artist confident she could hold her own against most opponents, but she was still a Jedi, and a Jedi's weapon was her life.
"Padmé never carries a weapon," Motée added. "If they detected one, they would know you weren't her."
They stopped outside the Gungan delegation's assembly room. Scout swallowed nervously, remembering Motée's suspicion that if an attack came it would be from Naboo's indigenous aliens, whose grievances with the former Queen were nearly as old as Scout.
"Um, what if they want sex?"
"That's why we're here," Ellé said. "Just give the order and we'll take over."
"But--" Motée said.
"But
what
?"
Ellé shrugged. "It's tradition for Naboo's representative to...
absorb
Gungan essence as a sign of friendship."
Scout frowned. "You don't mean--?"
"Suck his cock and swallow his load? Yes," Motée said.
"And
who
started this tradition?"
"Padmé," both handmaidens said.
"You don't have to, of course," Ellé said, "but Padmé would. And you should know that if you don't, it could lead to war between our species and the death of many good women. Many
beautiful
women."
Scout stared. "And neither of you thought I should know this beforehand?"
Ellé smirked. "We thought it would be more fun this way."