This is the first installment of my series, and contains a lot more background info the it does sex. However I think the background info will be essential in the installments that follow. I hope you enjoy this first installment. Criticism gladly accepted, even if you just want to knock the shit out of me, Peace :)
When I was 16 my parents were killed in a car accident. On that same day my brother was murdered in a gang related incident. Two days later my girlfriend committed suicide, a bullet to her brain.
As you can imagine, in the months that followed I was a mess. I had turned to drugs and alcohol and despite the best efforts of my remaining family and friends, I slipped into suicidal tendencies. Six months after that week I attempted to kill myself using a huge does of heroine. The second before I passed out into unconsciousness, a peculiar calm befell me and I was happy. When I woke in my hospital bed, relising I was alive, I cried in mourning over that lost sense of peace. Six months after, I again attempted to take my life, jumping of the roof of my two storey house (my parents left it to me). The peace and calmness overtook me again and I was happy again. However I was unsuccessful and again I cried for that lost sense of peace.
"Chris, CHRIS, wakey wakey" Dr Julie, my young Physiatrist said, "Are you alright?" she asked
"Just reminiscing" I replied
"Mmm you do that to much, think more about the future then the past"
"What future? " I asked
"That's for you to decide, now lets change the subject, we will come back to the past later, what have you been doing lately " I shrugged my shoulders and took a jellybean. "Not much, the guys conned me into helping out with vocals in their band but apart from that I just go to Uni. and sit at home, that's about it."
"A bands good, it might help you release some of that anger and frustration inside you, you should write the songs"
"I don't have Anger and frustration built up inside me " I replied
"Yes you do and things will be easier when you relise that. " Dr Julie replied with a small grim smile on her face.
And so I found myself singing with my mates, doing the pub and club scene around Sydney with Lords Of Chaos, our creative band name. I wrote the songs, all about depressing things. When my mates heard the first one they asked me to stop writing, who wants to hear about suicide, but one day they all suddenly agreed to my writing, behold the hand of Dr Julie.
We were 'discovered' doing a small gig at the Shakespeare hotel in Sydney and pretty soon we were recording our first album with the record company throwing money at us, the other guys getting easily sucked in to the lure of fame. It didn¡¦t really bother me, it supported my continued drug habit.
Our first song rocketed to number one, so did our second and our third. It did seemed that people liked hearing about suicide and drugs and murder. The Guys were lapping the fame thing up, I was the guy who didn't say much, probably because I was to high to say anything.