Note-This is a reworking of What a Jewel. I got feedback that tells me Jewel's breasts are massive. I have seen her breasts, and they ARE big. Why I said they were small is beyond me. I think I was trying to be respectful to Jewel for some odd reason. It is MY story after all, and I HIGHLY doubt she will ever read it. Anyhow, the following is a more realistic portrait of Jewel.
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I was sitting watching Jewel in concert with my friends. She had a real great voice, but, as far as I could tell at this point, she was a bitch. It made me a bit apprehensive to meet her. I was lucky enough to win a backstage pass. She was just wrapping up.
"Thanks everyone, you were a wonderful audience. " I could tell she really didn't mean that. It seemed as though she was glad to be getting off the stage.
"Well, I'm off. "
"I hope you come back in one piece. " Everyone laughed.
"Well, she may be a bitch, but at least I'm gonna be near her. " That shut them up.
When I got their, there was only about 20 people in line. I guess everyone didn't want to bother with the blondes attitude.
After about 5 minutes, it was my turn.
"What's your name, kiddo?" She didn't seem to care, but, of course, needed to ask.
"Well, I just wanna say that I LOVE your voice. It may not be upbeat music, but your songs mean something. "
"Name. " She was annoyed with my flattery of her music. She gave me a really nasty look. Just your name, damn it.
"I'm, well, I mean. "
"Your names I mean. " No, she mean, alright, I thought. I grinned at my dumb joke.
"No, " I said, ignoring her rudeness. "My name's Bob. "
"You sure?" She was SO MEAN! Why? everyone loved her and the singer didn't care.
"Yeah, I'm positive. " She scribbled something on her picture and handed it to me. It said: To Bob. Not, To Bob, Love Jewel. Just, To Bob.