Penny and Leonard were staring at the laptop.
"That slut!" Penny shrieked. She had stumbled across Bernadette's porn website.
Leonard's thick eyebrows furrowed and he squirmed in his seat. "Yeah-h-h-h, that slut! She's such a slut!" he stuttered.
Penny pointed at him. "How long have you known about this?! Don't you fucking lie! I know you knew about it!"
Leonard recoiled in preparation for the beating he thought he was about to take. "Well, uh, um, not, uh, not long."
"Liar! When were you planning on telling me about it!"
"Well, uh, yeah, you know, soon."
"Balls!" She turned her focus back to the screen.
Leonard gingerly reached out to the laptop and began to close it. "You know, you probably shouldn't dwell on it. So let's just put it away..."
"I will break your fingers if you don't let that go!" Leonard's arm snapped back to his chest. "Hey! Is that...is that Raj and...and Stuart?"
Leonard leaned into the screen, already knowing the answer. "Oh! You know what? Yeah, I think it is. Those bastards!" he said without any conviction.
"Holy crap on a cracker! Look at the cocks on those fuckers! Jesus Christ! Hey...hang on a second." She pointed at the screen. "Is that...is that...it is! That's you! What the fuck?!
"Is it? Oh! Oh yeah. I totally forgot about that. Well, you know, I was in the neighborhood..."
Penny leaned into the screen. "Is that their kitchen? Holy shit, it is! I'm never eating off that table again!" She did a double take and pointed at the screen again. "Holy shit! Is that you again?! What is that? Is that in the park? What the fuck?!"
"Well, you know, Stuart wasn't available that day, so they asked me if I could help out, so, you know..."
"You motherfucker!" She slapped him on the arm. "I'll bet you like those big, fat titties of hers, don't you? I'll bet you love her big, fat titties!"
Leonard shook his head. "Nooooooo, absolutely not. Who would want to be anywhere near those awful things? Nooooo, absolutely not. I like your titties!"
Who am I kidding? I like any titties!
"Shut the fuck up! It sure looks like your cock liked those titties since it's cumming all over them! Jesus!" She continued to flip through the various pages and videos.
"Hey, uh, maybe this isn't the time to bring it up, but I'd like to point out that you have sex with other guys and I'm okay with it. Why is this any different?"
"Because you're grateful that I let you sleep in the same bed as me and you want me to be happy!"
He shrugged his shoulders. "You're not wrong."
"I don't see Howard anywhere. I'd think that horny little bastard would be all over this."
"He doesn't know."
Penny's head snapped around. "He doesn't know?!"
Leonard held his hands together. "Please don't tell him," he begged.
"Why doesn't he know?"
"Because she's making a butt load of money off of it and she doesn't want him to know."
Penny's attitude did a total 180. "A butt load of money you say?"
Leonard nodded. "Oh yeah. She said she's making bank."
She placed her hand to her chin. "You don't say? Hmmmmmm. If she can make a butt load, I'll bet I could make double that!"
Leonard's head fell into his hands. "Aww, shit."
"I'm gonna hit that cunt where it hurts!"
Leonard's head shot up. "You're going to hit her in her groin? I don't think violence is going to solve anything."
"No, you idiot!" She paused. "Can you build me a website?"
"Well, uh, yeah, I guess. It's just a matter of figuring out the proper coding, ips, hosting service..."
"Whatever! Just do it. And get me a camera!"
Over the next couple of weeks, Penny took selfies of herself in various stages of undress and various situations -- shower, bedroom, kitchen, laundry room -- where she nearly got caught -- to create content for the website Leonard was building, pennysplayhouse.com. With Leonard's ability to optimize the website searches, traffic quickly began to build. It was time to add some video.
Unlike Bernadette's scripted and planned out videos, Penny's first foray into the genre was going to be more organic. She knew how it was going to start. She had no idea how it was going to end. But she wanted it to be great. She was going to show Bernadette how a
real
actress does it!
*****
The guys gathered at Stuart's comic book shop, The Comic Center of Pasadena. Besides Stuart and the guys were three other store regulars -- Lonely Larry, Dale, and Captain Sweatpants. While Raj, Howard, and Sheldon rifled through a table of comic books, Leonard nervously played with his new digital camera.
"What's with the camera, dude?" Raj finally asked.
"Huh? Oh, this? Uh, yeah, nothing. No, nothing," Leonard said nervously. Then his phone buzzed. After looking at it, he said, "Uh, yeah, I'm, uh, I'm going to step over here for, uh, a second. Yeah. Um, I'll, uh, I'll be right back." He quickly stepped into the middle of the store and held the camera up.
"What's up with him?" Howard asked.
Sheldon shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. He's been acting strange all day. His bathroom schedule has been off. Maybe he's having intestinal trouble. Do you think we should take him to the hospital?"
Howard looked up at Sheldon with his
you're crazy
look. "What?"
Suddenly, the front door of the store flew open. Penny came bursting through the door with a flourish. She was wearing the tiniest Wonder Woman costume any of them had ever seen. The star spangled hips were cut high into her midriff, accentuating her long, tan legs. The red and gold strapless top was barely clinging to her nearly completely exposed chest. Her pointing nipples were trying to shred holes in the tight spandex material just below the very top of the leotard. She waved the red cape behind her back and around her shoulders as she walked in.
"Hello, nerds and geeks! Wonder Woman is here to save the day!"