Hello all! This story is loosely inspired by the NPC Kan MOD hentai series, as well as a lot of other Skyrim erotic fanfiction. I know I'm a bit late to the party by writing Skyrim erotica in the year of our lord 2022, but it's still ripe for parody and I had a fun time with this one. If you enjoyed it and have any constructive criticism, please let me know!
Thanks and enjoy!
...
On one unremarkable November day in the not too distant future, you're scrolling through Twatter and see a game that you hadn't thought about in years is trending. It's the 20th anniversary of the RPG that changed open world gaming forever, Sky Scrolls: Eldenrim. In celebration of the event, developer Spoofthesda is releasing an Extra Definitive Collector's 4K Steelcase version of the classic game for the latest gaming systems; the GameStation 6, the Zsphere Model Infinite, and the Nintendon't Swatch.
You briefly wonder how this release didn't leak online already, but then remember that Spoofthesda had blacklisted every news outlet on the planet and instead trusted reporting, announcements, and reviews to influences; a decision that likely played a role in them being acquired -- and saved from bankruptcy -- by computer giant Macrohard a few years ago.
You dig into the news and discover that this new version of Eldenrim is retailing for 200 dollars; four times the launch price of the original game! You balk at the price; sure, this version might come with all of the DLC and upresed graphics; but that's still a high asking price for what's foundationally a twenty year old game. Still, your affection for the game is rekindled and you can practically hear the iconic chanting as you stare at the game's iconic box art in your feed. Deep down you know you need to play this title again.
So you reinstall your original copy of the game to your top of the line, fully immersive, VR gaming rig. It's still in your Stem library from when you bought it twenty years ago after all! As it downloads you do a couple of quick searches before finding the fan created 16K texture mod you're looking for. You download the mod -- after tipping the creator ten bucks -- and pull up other mods you're interested in. You download the most popular bug patch mod to address the issues in the game Spoofthesda never bothered to fix, the New Races mod to make the world feel even more diverse and expansive, the VA Expansion mod to stop NPC chatter from sounding like the same five people talking to you, the God Mode mod just in case things get out of hand a few hours into your last hard save, and a handful of other quality of life fixes.
Just as you think you've installed the last of the mods and you're ready to start the game; you notice one final mod that seems to be blowing up on fansites. It's the Super Kawaii, No Limits Hentai Action & Adventure Expansion mod; which has more positive reviews than any mod you've downloaded so far. Reading the description, you see that it promises brand new characters, questlines, and areas designed to make the classic game feel new to even veteran players. You briefly wonder why the mod's title would have some words in English and others in Japanese, but download it anyway, tantalized by the potential of this new experience.
After waiting a few moments for this last mod to install, you put on your total immersion headset and launch Sky Scrolls: Eldenrim for the first time in what feels like years, excited about the adventure before you.
...
Eldenrim's opening is as enticing and iconic as you remember it, and looks nearly photorealistic with the higher resolution and increased textures. Captured for entering the country of Eldenrim illegally, you're taken to the town of Helgon by the Imperial Army for execution. Knowing that you can change your character and stats at any time with the mods you've installed, you gloss over the character creation process and begin the game as a nondescript male Nord. Shortly after, another prisoner is executed by the Imperials -- after volunteering for some reason. Then, as your head is pressed to the chopping block, the sky darkens and chaos erupts as the fearsome wyvern Aldoin appears!
The World Eater reigns fire and destruction on the unsuspecting town, and you begin to flee the scene amidst the maelstrom. While you escape, you notice the first narrative change to the game from mods you installed. Rather than the usual Imperial Army soldier and Tempestclaok rebel calling for you, two new characters vie for your support. NPC Heidi, a brown-haired Nord woman whose prodigious bust strains her leather armor to the point of distorting the Imperial crest on its front implores you to come with her. However, Rachel, a blond Nord whose shelf of a butt makes itself known despite her flowing blue Tempestcloak sash, beckons you with gusto.
Not sure why anyone would choose to follow someone who just tried to kill them, you go with Rachel and enter Helgon Keep. She quickly frees you from your restaurants and you grab the basic light armor and one handed sword in the room. As you do, you notice that one of the quality of life mods displays the stats of an item and offers a basic description before you pick it up, allowing you to tell if an item is worthwhile before adding it to your inventory. Turning to Rachel again, you see a similar pop-up appear as you focus on her. You learn that she's twenty-four, from the community of Streamwood, and is classed as a Barbarian. There's an option to pull up more information, but you ignore it as the two of you venture further into the keep.
"We must escape that monster!" Rachel chirps as you two descend. "Though, I'd rather die to it than the Imperials."
As you make your way through the fort, you notice that another quality of life mod is auto looting consumables and lightweight items used for crafting. Heavier items, like the wooden bow you pick up, still have to be added to your inventory manually. While you could disable your carrying weight limit and pick up all items by proximity, you decide to leave the limitation on so that this playthrough doesn't go from player-friendly to borken.
"There must be something valuable in this chest if there's a lock on it. Here, use my Lockpick to try to get inside. You need to turn the lock pick to the correct angle and then turn your knife to open the lock. Be careful, though, applying too much pressure with your knife could cause the Lockpick to break, and then you won't be able to get whatever's inside this chest," Rachel rambles as you pocket 20 gold from the chest midway through her first sentence.
She gives other, somewhat diegetic gameplay tips and tutorials as the Keep turns into a cave out of the town, but you mostly ignore her as you've played this -- or any other -- video game before and understand the controls. Nearing the end of the cave, she quickly crouches; making the twin globes of her behind even more prominent on her otherwise lean frame. Perhaps it's a hiccup in the game or your hardware sputtering for a moment, but you swear you could hear Rachel's cloth pants rip slightly from the sudden shift and the material between each mountainous globe begin to fray.
"Be careful!" Rachel whispers intensely. "There's a sleeping bear up ahead. If we stay low and quiet, we should be able to sneak past it."
You also fall into a squat and begin crouch-walking forward behind her, staring more at the twin bowling balls behind her than you'd care to admit. In this position, every movement of her legs causes her ass to giggle or bounce. The toned muscles of her thighs and glutes send vibrations through her fat ass with every step.
You quickly pick up the pace and move ahead of Rachel, shaking off that distraction. Now that you're moving more quickly and ahead of her, though, Rachel also begins to hustle while staying low and you begin to hear a faint clapping sound. Stopping to look behind you, realize that it's coming from Rachel who's now moving in a way that forces one of her butt cheeks to slap against the other! The sound grows louder as she closes the distance between you two until she suddenly stops and shouts a line unlike anything close to what you've heard in your previous Eldenrim playthroughs,
"Oh no; the clap of my dummy thick ass cheeks awoke the bear! It's attacking!"
With a mighty roar the bear charges at Rachel from its resting spot. Unarmed, the Tempestcloak stands and strikes the beast with her fists. You notch an arrow in your bow and let it fly at the creature. You fire a second arrow, then a third, then a fourth before realizing that it's a wasted effort. The bear is moving around too much in its scuffle with Rachel for your arrows to puncture a critical area and do significant damage.
Just as you put your bow away, the bear swipes at Rachel with its meaty paw.
"Uh-ahhhh!" Rachel cries as she tumbles to the cold stone floor of the cave.
The bear turns its attention to you and charges once more. You pull out your short sword and run towards this feral foe. You see that Rachel's blows and your arrows have chipped away at its HP; a few solid slashes should finish it off!
You land the first strike on the bear's right arm, disabling it. It counters with a swipe with its left, though, and you suddenly lose half of your health. You slash again and connect with the bear's torso, nearly killing it! You attack once more and a Finisher animation begins to play. You chop at the bear's neck, severing its head and sending it rocketing across the cave. Grabbing your sword with both hands, you raise it above your head and bring it down on the bear's still standing body. You cleave the bear's body in two and it sprays blood into the air as both halves fall to the ground. A bear pelt, bear claws, and garnet are added to your inventory automatically as you sheath your bloodied blade.
"That was a fight I won't soon forget," Rachel calls from the ground.
You turn and step towards her, but stop dead in your tracks. Rather than simply being doubled over like you'd expect from a downed companion, she's panting for breath on her hands and knees. Moreover, instead of just bringing down her health, the bear's attacks also seem to have damaged her armor and clothing. Her leather armor was completely torn away, leaving just her tattered Tempestcloak sash to cover her perky bust. Her pants were also destroyed in the encounter, exposing her pale, juicy ass to redden in the cool air of the cave. Though her plain white panties seemed to have escaped the battle unscathed, they are all but completely swallowed by Rachel's caked up cheeks.
"Forgive my appearance," Rachel begins. "I should be ready to carry on in a moment. The town of Streamwood should be near this Keep's exit. We can rest there and then try to meet up with my people."
