Angel sat on the edge of his bed, cradling his Italian loafers, brooding. He hadn't done this in a while and took him a half an hour or so to remember how to brood properly. He began to mutter to himself. "I can understand being upset with me. I can understand throwing me out of her room. Literally. But does she have to abuse my shoes?" He shook his head sadly. "Italian leather's not cheap." He held the left one up to the light. "Who knows how I'm going to get the scuff marks out . . ."
Cordelia stood in the doorway, unbeknownst to her boss, watching the conversation with barely controlled mirth. When the so-called 'dark avenger' began lightly stroking the shoe as if comforting it, she couldn't contain herself any longer. "Do I need to leave you two alone? I mean, I'm not interrupting anything am I?"
"Actually I had a whirlwind romance thing planned. Big seduction scene. Until you walked in and spoiled the mood." He looked longingly back at his shoes and his bare feet. "It's ok, one of us was bound to get cold feet eventually. Particularly since I left my socks next to the potted plant in the hallway."
Cordy clutched her sides in silent laughter, holding one hand up to signal that Angel should wait until she could catch her breath before continuing. She was still amazed at the funnier side of Angel. She walked in and sat down in one of the chairs near the bed. She smiled sympathetically. "Wanna tell me what happened?"
"Not really. No."
"Good. I don't really care. You're a freak and you deserve it for hanging out with Slayers when you're a vampire." She smiled brightly at him. There was no rancor in her statement, just the facts as she saw them. "Now. Let me tell you about my day."
"Vision?"
She held up a bottle of extra strength aspirin in answer. "Here it is. Wesley, Gunn and I are going on vacation. You're paying because you're our boss. And you're staying here. Ok?"
Angel looked offended for a moment. "I'm not invited?"
"Well, no." She beamed, then moved to sit next to him. "You're going to stay here and play with the slayers. We're going to sit on the beach and drink things with umbrellas in the glasses. And you know why you're going to go along with this?"
"Why?"
"Because the Powers That Be have spoken. Now, run along and get your credit cards, shoo!" She made 'shoo-ing' gestures.
"The PTB want me to give you an all expense paid vacation?"
"No, the PTB want you left alone with a Slayer. I want a vacation." She didn't even look sheepish. Then she abruptly got up and left the room. He didn't bother asking where she was going. She was going to get his credit cards from the office. Of course, it wasn't until after she left to pack an hour later that he wondered which Slayer she meant.
**********
Later on that day, Dawn held the phone against her ear."Giles?"
"This is he." He sounded annoyed in that oh-so-proper-and-formal British way of his.
"Anything nasty around? Big gooey demons or anything?"
"It's been remarkably quiet, Dawn. Uh. . .are things with you and Faith, er, going well?"
"Yes! Lots of training. Lots. Uh-huh."
"Splendid. And the new moves should. . .uh prove useful, yes?"
"Yes." She said brightly. "Everything is going well with you?"
"Just fine, Dawn. And I'm glad to hear that you've all settled in and this has been . . .productive. I'm a trifle busy at the moment. Can I ring you tomorrow?"
"Sure. Talk to you later, Giles."
"Of course. Have a good evening, Dawn." He hung up the phone. He turned back to the television screen. He picked up the bowl of buttered popcorn from the coffee table and used the remote to turn the volume up. PBS was showing Sense and Sensibility.
*******
"That was too much fun." Faith declared, walking in the hotel and swinging her shopping bag. She had never been like most girls. Sure, she appreciated nice clothes but she hated shopping. Hated waiting in lines and trying things on. Somehow, the blond vampire at her side had made it less irritating.
"Especially when you're not paying for it." Spike agreed. He patted his own shopping bag. Inside, was a blue speedo earmarked for Dawn's viewing pleasure.
"Where have you two been?" Angel said, he stood framed in his office doorway, arms folded across his massive chest.
"Don't we look all manly and superheroish? Where's your tights, poof?"
"The dry cleaners." Angel said, deadpan. Both of their jaws dropped. "Kidding. Sense of humor now. Remember?"
"I don't know. Tights would highlight those well-defined calves of yours. Might be sexy." Dawn said, coming into the room. She was determined to see this thing through. She'd been able to provoke Spike before yesterday. Time to do it again. She walked over to Angel and balanced on her tiptoes to give him a thorough kiss. This was deeper than their others, much more convincing.
Angel smiled at her when the kiss was over and slowly released her arms, which he had been holding to support her. "Next time we play dress-up I'll wear them." He said loud enough for Faith and Spike to hear.
"You play dress up?" Spike screeched. "What kind of dress up? Playin' poofy house or what not. . .or y'know. . .dress-up." His eyes widened and his eyebrows lifted.
Angel's slow smile and sultry sweep of Dawn's body was unholy. Something Angelus would have done. "Usually we play doctor but everyone needs variety."
Faith was speechless for once. Who knew Angel could be spicy? She'd always thought his soul would preclude anything but vanilla.
Dawn snuggled up against Angel. She gave Spike a smug smile. "He's good at playing a wicked school master too." Somehow she managed not too blush.
Angel looked down at her in equal parts horror and curiosity. She knew he'd be interrogating her later.
Spike sputtered. "Well, that's. . .just. . ." He looked at Faith for help.
"Sick?" She offered.
"Yes, that's what I was going for." He looked at Angel and shook his finger. "Sick." Then he turned around and followed Faith up the stairs, clutching the bag with his speedo in it. He turned around once on the stairs to glare down at Angel. "Sick." He shook his head and bounded up the rest of the way.
Angel waited until they were out of earshot. "Where the hell. . .who the hell did that come from?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" She rolled back on her heels and clapped her hands once. "So, how'd I do? Make with the praise. I should have been an actress."
"That was kind of sick."
"And you were thinking about it too, sicko. Now, what's next in our plan?"
"Sea breezes."
*********
"How come you never brought me here before?"
"Because you don't bring impressionable young girls to bars." Angel said, looking around at the large crowd nervously.
"Ooh! Does that mean you think I'm a woman?"
"No, it means I think you've already had an impression made on you." He muttered. "School masters, my fangs." His demeanor seemed to say "kids these days!"
"Get over it, Angel. I want a drink!" She stared at the bartender who was mixing some bloody, Bloody Marys. Then she turned to Angel. "Do they have a menu?"
