This is a hot and freaky sex parody.
I was relaxing with my woman, Sofia Vergara, on our deck. She was looking her usual ultra hot self in a skimpy white thong bikini. We were sipping some margaritas and basking in the Malibu sun. I saw something in the distance that caught my eye. A fucking paparazzi camera. It was being held by another one of my mortal enemies... Ok, maybe not mortal enemy, but someone that gets on my fucking nerves and that I wish would jump off that damn cliff he was standing on. I know my girl is famous and I know she's the hottest actress in the world. So I understand trying to get her picture, but... They not only go overboard with it, they also have a pet name for me... Mr Sofia Vergara. They skip the James... Or the porn guy James part. Now, I have no problem being the less famous person in a relationship and I certainly have no problem being attached to Sofia, it's just the smartassness of the assholes that pisses me off.
I decided that instead of dealing with it in my normal, angry New Yorker way, I would have fun with it... And them. I'll save my connections back home for more important matters. I was gonna play with their minds... And have hot fucking sex with my woman in the process.
I looked over at Sofia and smiled. Holy shit, she's hot. She smiled back and blew me a kiss. I pulled her top off of her tits and exposed those perfect Latina tits to all horny eyes. She winked at me. She knew what I was doing. They wanna call me, Mr Sofia Vergara? Well, I'm gonna show them why being Mr Sofia Vergara is a whole lot better than being them. Fuck yeah! I stood up, pulled my cock out and slapped it on her magnificent tit. "Ohhhhh papi, smack those tetas." I fucking love her accent. I smacked her nipple and her tit. I rubbed it on her hard nipple and Sofia licked out her tongue at me. She's so fucking sexy, I walk around with a constant erection.