It was Day #3 of an epic Los Angeles heat wave. Inside the Dunphy's suburban residence, the AC was cranked and Haley Dunphy and her boyfriend, Dylan, were sharing popcorn on the couch in the living room, watching cartoons.
In through the front door came Haley's younger sister, Alex, home from college. She had been out jogging, wearing nothing more than a sports bra and a pair of running shorts. The combo left little to the imagination, which was a good thing for Dylan as he wasn't exactly known for deep thought.
Alex, tired from her run, leaned her sweaty body against the wall. She checked her phone, looking at the stats on the app she used to track her distance and time. All the while, Dylan soaked in the view, no longer so enthralled in the animated animals he and Haley had been watching on the big screen.
"Oh...uh...hey Alex," Dylan said, bits of popcorn falling out of his mouth. Seeing a panting, exhausted Alex, who usually dressed rather plain and demure, in an outfit so revealing was a pleasant surprise for the young man. He couldn't help but stare at her heaving breasts and cleavage glistening with sweat. She wasn't as thin and toned as her older sister, but her curvy body was undeniably sexy in its own way.
Alex nodded in his direction, pointed to the kitchen, and uttered, "Water." As she made her way towards the kitchen, clearly, completely dehydrated, Dylan watched her plump ass, which filled out her jogging shorts nicely. She didn't notice at all. Alex rarely paid Dylan any mind. He was handsome enough and cute in a dopey way, but he had the IQ of half a loaf of bread.
Dylan turned back to his girlfriend, who was not happy.
"Dylan! You were totally checking out my sister!" she accused.
"No I wasn't!" he retorted.
"You totally were! You were staring directly at her boobs!" she exclaimed.
"What? That's crazy!" he said.
"Oh yeah? Then explain yourself," Haley responded, pointing to the crotch of Dylan's pants. It was clear that he had an erection.
"Oh...uh...well..." Dylan stammered, "It's these pants! They bunch up in front. In fact, that...uh...reminds me...I have an appointment...with a tailor...like, right now! I better get going."
Dylan brushed the popcorn crumbs off his shirt and awkwardly stood up. He knew that the best thing to do when Haley got angry was to give her space.
"Goodbye kiss?" he asked.
"Out!" Haley responded, pointing to the door.
"Okay. I'll call you later...after I get these pants fixed," Dylan said as he left. Haley wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but she wasn't the dullest either. She wasn't really angry at Dylan anyway. It was her sister she was mad at for cavorting around in a sports bra and gym shorts, showing off her curvy body.
Of course, Haley didn't have the introspection to consider that she herself would often walk around the house in various states of undress, never once considering the effect it may have on others. Then again, Alex rarely had boys over so the only guys around most days were Dylan and the male members of her own extended family, two of whom were openly homosexual.
In the kitchen, Alex and Haley's uncle Manny - who was a few years younger than both of them - sat with their brother Luke, enjoying a plate of milk and cookies at the table. The two 18 year old high school seniors watched as Alex strolled in and flung the refrigerator door open. She pulled out a bottle of ice cold water and rubbed it against her forehead. It felt amazing. She twisted off the top and took long, loud chugs, the occasional drop slipping out of her mouth and running down her neckline between her large breasts.
The boys had stopped chewing. They'd stopped dipping their cookies in their milk. They had stopped doing anything except watching. Even Luke was mesmerized by how hot his sister looked in that moment, cooling herself off, letting the cold air from the open refrigerator do its work on her ample chest. Were her nipples hardening?
"How are the cookies, boys?" Luke and Manny were snapped out of their trance by Luke's mother, Claire, who had stepped in from behind them, holding a basket of fresh laundry. She had seen the whole scene play out.
"The cookies? Great. Best I've ever seen - I mean, had," Manny said, clearly startled. "C'mon, Luke, let's finish them in your room." The two boys shuffled off, cookies and milk in hand.
Catching Manny staring at Alex was not too surprising - they weren't blood relatives - but seeing Luke's face had been a bit of a shocker for Claire. They were brother and sister, after all. Claire didn't have much time to think about it as Haley stormed in.
"Mom! You have to do something!" she shouted.
"What now, Haley?" Claire asked, more annoyed than curious.
"Do you not see this? Alex is running around town looking like a hooker!" Haley said, pointing at her sister, who had finally caught her breath and was in the midst of making herself a post-workout, non-dairy smoothie.
"What? Oh...I get it. You're jealous! For the first time, you are jealous of me! You didn't like your boyfriend seeing a woman who can actually fill out a sports bra," Alex laughed.
"Mom! Can't you do something? Can't we, like, send her to one of those countries where the women dress like ghosts all the time?" Haley pleaded. Claire tried to ignore the arguing as she folded clothes at the kitchen table.
"Hey, mom, what does this remind you of?" Alex said, holding a banana and rubbing it up against a wooden cutting board. Claire looked at her but didn't respond.
"It's Dylan tittyfucking Haley! Watch out for splinters, Dylan!" Alex teased with a big laugh.
"Oh, you're dead!" Haley said, grabbing a knife from the block and making her way around the kitchen island. Claire stepped in the middle to prevent a murder. Haley put the knife onto the counter.
"Enough! Alex, that wasn't nice or funny, and Haley, I've got some advice for you. In life, you're going to run into lots and lots of boys who are mesmerized by large breasts. They can't help themselves. Women like you and I have two options. We can get angry or we can get -"
"Implants?" Haley interrupted.
"No. We can get men who aren't mesmerized by them," Claire corrected her. Claire handed the knife to Alex, who needed it to cut fruit for her smoothie.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding," Alex said. "There is no man alive who is not mesmerized by large breasts. It's a scientific fact." Alex cut off the leaves from a handful of strawberries. She then reached back into the fridge to pull out a bag of spinach.
Claire couldn't believe how flippant her youngest daughter's response was. Alex unpeeled a banana and sliced it.
"Trust me, they exist. Take your father, for instance," Claire said assertively.
"Dad? Not mesmerized by breasts? Have you seen the way he ogles Aunt Gloria anytime she wears something that shows off her cleavage?" Alex asked, suggestively holding up two mangos.
