Men's Sexual Confessions: Bob

Best Buddy's Sexual Peccadillo

A group of men sit around talking candidly about their sex lives.

I'm Paul, the host of this party. Thanks for stopping by to read my story.

We were all sitting around the big screen watching the Super Bowl one year. I had invited all of my best buddies to watch the game with me. There were 21 of us guys, including me. Our wives and girlfriends were upstairs drinking wine, laughing, talking about kids and complaining about us, no doubt.

During half time, I thought it would be a fun thing for each of us to confess what his personal, sexual peccadillo was. Especially after we've all already had a few beers, instead of watching commercials, which we've all already seen a million times, the guys would rather talk about sex. Whenever there was a new commercial we haven't seen before, we stopped to watch that.

Only, I was shocked by what happened next. Instead of going around the room with each guy sharing a few intimate details about his sex life and about his wife, it turned into a men's meeting, an open forum, on sexual peccadilloes, so much so that we missed watching the second half of the game.

Anthony was first to volunteer. He told us how his wife, Ramona, enjoyed being tied to the bed, blindfolded, and spanked. We were stunned. Attending church every Sunday, Ramona looks so straight laced, we'd never expect her to be so kinky. One never knows what goes on behind closed door.

Bob was next to volunteer to confess his sexual peccadilloes.

"My wife's favorite actor is Brad Pitt," said Bob, "and, of course, it goes without saying that my favorite actress is Angelina Jolie. It's weird how our two favorite actors married one another. My wife, Sue, was gaga over Brad Pitt when she first saw him in Thelma and Louise. I've been lusting over Angelina, since before she married that old guy, Billy Bob Thornton. What she saw in him, I'll never know."

"Maybe he's got a big cock," said Anthony.

"I heard Brad Pitt has a little cock," said Larry. "He appeared in Playgirl and he has a small dick. I mean, really, if you knew you had a little cock, why would you even show it? I'd be embarrassed."

"Maybe they paid him a lot of money to pose in the magazine," said Eddie.

"The man's is rich, he doesn't need whatever they paid him to posed naked," said Charlie.

"Yeah, that's probably why Jennifer Aniston left him for that Vince Vaughn guy," said Mike. "And it wouldn't surprise me if Angelina was a lesbian, anyway. She probably doesn't care that he has a small cock, so long as she can still lick pussies."

"Nah," said Nick, "Brad was already cheating on Jennifer when he made that movie, Mrs. & Mr. Smith," said Steve. "And if Angelina Jolie is lesbian, I'm a gay man."

"Stay away from me, then, you homo," said Henry, "because I heard the same rumor about Angelina liking women, as much as she likes men."

"Hey, guys, whatever. C'mon, let Bob tell his story," said Randy. "I'm curious now to learn what the connection is between his sexual peccadillo and the Pitts. These little talks are starting to get good. Maybe I can get some ideas for me and my wife to try."

"You and your wife just had sex last year, Randy. What are you gearing up for next year, already," said Nick?

"Ha, ha, very funny," said Randy. "We have sex regularly. Go ahead, Bob, continue please."

"Hey, they should have named one of their kids, Peaches, so that she'd be called, Peach Pitts," said Dwayne making everyone laugh.

"Anyway," said Bob. "We do a lot of role playing. Sue dresses up like Angelina, even wears the black wig and puts on a lot of red lipstick. She actually does look like her a little. She's tall enough and her boobs are just as big. Whenever she dresses, walks, talks, and recites a role from one of her movies, I actually feel that I'm with Angelina Jolie."

"I don't know about you," said Larry, "but my wife would never appreciate me lusting over another broad, even if she was a movie star, and even if it was just role playing. She'd be jealous if I called her by another woman's name."

"It's not like I'm going to run away with Angelina Jolie," said Bob. "We just like pretending that we each having sex with our favorite celebrity. It's just something that we both enjoy and role playing gets us in the mood."

"So, does she call you Brad and do you call her Angelina," asked Vinnie?

"Yeah, that's all part of it, pretending we are actually them in person," said Bob. "Only, I wish I had their money."

"That's kind of cool," said Dave. "I wouldn't mind trying that with my wife. I'd have her pretend to be Kim Basinger and I could pretend to be Alec Baldwin. Then, we could fight, argue, and bicker, before getting a divorce, which is what we mostly do, fight, argue, and bicker."

He had the entire group of men laughing.

"So, what's the sex like" asked Nick? "Is it any better being embroiled in the fantasy or do you realize that you're the same people, once you start kissing and with the sex just being the same old thing?"

"Oh no, God no. We get so wrapped up in playing our characters that we almost forget we're Bob and Sue. It takes some practice to let your mind go, focus, and believe you are actually the character you are playing and she's the person that you are lusting over, but once you are there, it all feels so real," said Bob looking around the room. "You get so caught up in the fantasy. Yet, the best part of it is that you can do and ask her to do things that you'd never ask your wife to do, if you know what I mean. Because if your wife takes exception to having anal sex or doing sixty-nine or whatever, you can just blame it on the character, saying that this is what they like to do. You read it in a celebrity magazine or something."

"Yeah, well, I don't know what celebrity magazine you're reading, but I never read anything about anal sex and/or doing sixty-nine in people's magazine," said Frank laughing and making everyone laugh.

"So, I don't get it," said Jim, "how is the sex any better? It's still your wife, the same woman you married and always had sex with. It's a stretch for me to think that just by pretending that you can actually believe that you are both someone else."

"Yeah, that's what makes it so hot, we are able to believe that we are really them," said Bob. "With the both of us ensconced in the fantasy, with her acting and trying to be just like Angelina Jolie and me trying to replicate Brad Pitt, the role playing takes us to sexual heights we've never dreamt possible. I'm not kidding you when I tell you that I feel as though I'm undressing Angelina Jolie, kissing her, making love to her beautiful body, sucking her tits, and eating her pussy. Then, when Susan sucks my cock, I swear I'm getting a blowjob from Angelina, instead of from my wife, especially when we call one another by their names."

"Well that sounds like something that I could try," said Larry. "Maybe if my wife pretended she was someone else, she wouldn't be so rigid about sex. I envy you guys. My wife is a prude in comparison to all of your wives."

"Well, that's the thing, Larry, you need to find out what it is your wife likes, what makes her hot, and go with it. Adjust your fantasy to hers and then the sex is magical."

"Unfortunately, what my wife likes, what turns her on, has nothing to do with sex. It all has to do with shopping at the mall," said Larry.

"Well, there you go," said Steve. "Maybe she gets some sort of sexual gratification from trying on clothes at the mall. Maybe she imagines that there's a security man watching her undress from behind the big mirror or in the camera planted in the ceiling."

"They can't watch women undress in department stores," said Wayne.

"I know that," said Steve. "I was only giving an example of a role that you two could play that she may enjoy with her being the customer and you being the spying security man."

"That might work," said Larry. "I'll let you guys know," he said with a laugh. "Either I'll be having hot sex or sleeping on the couch."

With the television muted and the football game still in halftime behind us, you could hear a pin drop. The room was so quiet after Bob confessed his and Sue's sexual preferences and Larry and Steve discussed how to sexually loosen Larry's wife up a bit.

"Who wants to go next," I asked. "Who wants to confess to the group what their sexual peccadillo is?"