Married With Children Spring Break

(fictional story about fictional characters)

(my version of S 10: E 18 & 19)

It was nearing the end of a long cold, gray, depressing winter in Chicago; but Bud Bundy and his entire fraternity were utterly ebullient as they gathered in his family living room. They had formed their own frat when none of the existing "houses" would even give them a second look, let alone a pledge. The complete membership consisted of Bud and three of his outcast friends (some would call them losers). "This is going to be so great," Bud told them, "while everyone here is watching the ice melt, we'll be basking on the beach in Fort Lauderdale on Spring Break. We're going to be scoring with hot chicks in bikinis. Do you realize that girls outnumber guys by six to one there?"

"But girls outnumber guys by six to one at our university," super-nerd Barney suggested, "and we don't score here."

"Right, but here they know us," Bud explained, "and besides on Spring Break they'll all be drunk."

"You are so smart," Achmed proclaimed, "you should lead us."

"And so I shall," Bud accepted. "Now, does everyone have their airline tickets?" They all held them up for him to see. "And we have our hotel reservations. Does everyone have protection?" Barney produced an umbrella and opened it. Achmed showed Bud his raincoat, and the pudgy Hummer held up a small box. "What is that," Bud inquired.

"That's my sister's diaphragm," Hummer answered.

"Ewww," they all responded and then circled around him trying to give him a wedgie.

Just then the door opened and Bud's gorgeous sister Kelly strutted in with three of her attractive girlfriends. "Well, well, what have we here," she remarked, "a gathering of trolls?"

Her friends all laughed until Achmed declared: "you big-breasted girls think you're so smart; but we will be spending Spring Break flying to Fort Lauderdale where we have hotel reservations overlooking the beach where bigger-breasted females will be spreading suntan oil all over themselves...and ask us to help them."

The four girls were suddenly silent and Bud motioned to his buddies: "come on, let's go down to my room and review our strategy for getting lucky in Florida."

When they had disappeared down the cellar stairs, Fawn wondered: "how come those geeks get to go to Fort Lauderdale and us foxes have to stay here."

"Sad as it is," Kelly stated, "they have one thing we don't...money."

"That didn't stop us from going to Las Vegas...or Monte Carlo...or the Arkansas governor's mansion," Ashley proudly stated. Looking around, she admitted: "oh, I guess that last one was just me."

"She's right," Kelly agreed, "a slut, but she's right. We know who we have to do," and she looked toward the cellar door, "but who's going to do them."

` "Ewww, not me," Ashley groaned.

"No way," Fawn and Natalie agreed.

"Alright, alright," Kelly relented, "I'll take care of this. We meet at Fawn's house this afternoon."

Down at the mall, in Gary's Shoes, Al Bundy and his fellow employee Griff, were playing with a chess set, even though neither had a clue how to actually play the game. Abruptly, a group of very attractive young ladies swarmed into the store seeking to buy shoes for Spring Break. "I need something to wear with my bikini," one girl told Al.

"Well, that would be me," lovable loser Al answered.

Rolling her eyes, she specified: "I need something in black to wear with my bikini."

"That would be me," Griff put his hand on her shoulder and led her away from Al. When they were finished shopping, they each bought at least four pairs of shoes/sandals; and Griff and Al just stuffed the cash in their pockets. "How come we never got to go to "Spring Break, Al," Griff wondered.

"Because we were sooo smart," Al answered sarcastically, "we married right after senior year."

"Junior year," Griff corrected him, dejectedly; and they both hung their heads in despair.

Back at the Bundy's, Hummer had come upstairs to get a soda and a sandwich, and Kelly patted the sofa beside her, indicating for him to sit. "Jeez Hummer," she seductively whispered, "that's such a big lap...do you think there's room for me." He shyly moved his sandwich to the other knee so Kelly could sit. "I'll just put this napkin over the mustard," she sarcastically stated as she scrunched over and sat on his knee. "You know, my friends were talking and we agreed that if you guys weren't going away for Spring Break; we would be more than happy to entertain you for the whole week."

"Entertain," he asked.

"Oh, you know," she suggestively answered, "things like dancing, modeling our bikinis, letting you rub oil on our bodies," and then she stuck her finger in her mouth, closed her lips around it and drew it out, "and other things. Maybe I could give you a preview." She could tell he was aroused by the poking against her thigh. "The only thing stopping us is that we would need your plane tickets to send our boyfriends away for the week. Hummer had a dreamy look on his face and Kelly knew it was time to close the deal. "Your name is quite suggestive," she cooed, "I think I should show you what I mean."

She shifted her weight and slowly lifted the hem of her blouse until her braless breasts were completely revealed. They were works of art: perfectly round mounds of soft flesh, now staring him in the eyes. They jiggled when she moved and her nipples stuck out like pieces of candy-corn, centered in her pale pink areola. Kelly lifted his shirt slightly and began to slide her hand down inside the waistband of his sweatpants. Her fingers barely touched his five inch cocktail weinie, when his body shuddered and her hand was coated with wetness. Smiling at her power over men, Kelly withdrew her hand, wiped it on his shirt and offered: "well, if you decide to stay home this week; I'm sure we can do better with practice."

"You sure the other girls agreed to this," Hummer asked, somewhat embarrassed at his premature ending.

Kelly nodded and assured him: "they all are looking forward to it. Who wants to sweat in the hot sun when we have you hunks right here. We just need your plane tickets and we'll be free all week."

"I'll talk to the guys...I'm sure they'll agree to it...none of us really like being in the sun anyway. I'd give you my ticket right now, but Bud has them all. He didn't want us to lose them, and he warned us that you might try to trick us," Hummer informed her.

Seeing that Hummer was still staring at her, Kelly realized her tits were still exposed and pulled her blouse down. She wanted to scream at him for making her touch him when he didn't even have his ticket, but kept her cool and suggested: "well you explain to the others and then go home and gather up your things. We can all stay here this week. I'll explain things to Bud and make sure our boyfriends are gone." Hummer went down the cellar stairs with a huge smile on his face and Kelly ran up to her room.

A couple minutes later, the foursome bounded up the basement stairs, all talking excitedly at once. As the other three headed for the front door, Bud admonished them: "I can't believe you fell for her tricks...I'll get to the bottom of this." As soon as the door closed, Bud shouted: "Kel...where are you."

From upstairs he heard her voice: "come on up Bud...I've got a surprise for you." He could hear dance music coming from her bedroom as he climbed the stairs; making sure the envelope containing the four plane tickets and a print-out of their hotel reservation, was secure in his back pocket. Rounding the corner of her doorframe, Bud stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Kelly; now clad in her shortest mini-skirt and a tiny crop-top; dancing seductively. She immediately grabbed his hand and pushed him to sit down on the side of her bed. "I know how much you enjoyed watching me get undressed every night through your peephole. I could never figure out why you moved down to the basement."

Nearly speechless at the sight of his gorgeous blond sister; her breasts wobbling under the thin material; Bud answered as in a trance: "well...I...you know...figured since I was in college, I would be getting lucky all the time. I was wrong...and I do miss watching you."

Dancing around in front of him, her arms raised up over her head so that the bottoms of her breasts were exposed; Kelly told him: "I always like an audience. I just wanted to show you that we're not trying to trick you guys...you really turn us on." Bud was truly dazed at the turn of events and his eyes bugged out when Kelly yanked her top up over her head and threw it in the corner. He had never been this close to her bare breasts before and they were even more perfect than he had thought. A drop of spittle appeared at the corner of his mouth, and Kelly reached behind her, unzipped her tiny skirt and let it fall to the floor. She had not been wearing underwear and was now totally nude...his face twelve inches away from her pussy.

Bud was completely familiar with her grooming habit of trimming her blond bush into a neat, closely cropped triangle that pointed downward toward her slit. His mouth hung open as he stared at her crotch. Her mound was very meaty with long flaps extending outward from her slit. He forced his eyes away from her pussy long enough to take in her entire body...it was perfect. Sister or not, she had the body of a Greek goddess. Long, slender legs and an hourglass figure coupled with the face of an angel...although he knew there was nothing angelic about her. "Well, this is the closest you've ever been to a real girl," she teased, "what do you think."

Startled back to reality, Bud took offence to her jab: "I've been with girls before. I guess your body is pretty nice."

"Pretty nice," she asked, "you'll have to do better than that if you want us to entertain you this week." She hoped he would fall under her spell and fall for the ruse.

"Listen Kel," he told her, still not taking his eyes off her naked body, "I'm not those other rubes...I know you're trying to trick us somehow. It's going to take more than a strip show to convince me."

Kelly had been afraid of that, but with a trip to Fort Lauderdale at stake, she was willing to go the distance. She pulled him to his feet and switched places with him, sitting back and spreading her knees as wide as she could. Again, Bud's jaw dropped as he stared between her legs. He dropped to his knees and ran his hands up the inside of her silky thighs until his fingers touched the sides of her plump mound. He couldn't believe his luck as his face was now inches away from her pussy. Her mound glistened as he leaned in and inhaled the intoxicating scent of her arousal.

Extending his tongue, Bud licked the sides of her pussy from the bottom to the top; first one side, then the other. As he used his thumbs to spread her fleshy lips, her pea-sized clit appeared at the top of her opening. Her perfect ass was undulating against the bedspread as he pushed his tongue up inside her pussy, tickling her nub with his nose. Feeling his tongue flicking in and out of her hole, and then lapping hungrily at her nectar; Kelly gasped: "jeez Bud, you're pretty good at that; for a geek." The truth was, Bud had no idea what he was doing; he just wanted to prolong his first vaginal exploration as long as possible. He found Kelly's pussy to be fascinating and when he slid his finger into her tunnel, he jumped with surprise when her muscles squeezed it.

As he shoved a second finger inside her and attached his lips to her swelling clit, Kelly's body shivered and she moaned: "holy shit Bud...do it just like that." He continued to manipulate her vagina until she fell back on the bed exhausted, and he sat back on his heels staring at her naked body. Seeing the look on his face, Kelly sat back up and motioned for him to stand. "I guess it's only fair if I reciprocate," and she began to unzip his trousers. Although she hoped it wouldn't go this far, she was fairly certain this would cement the deal.

When she shoved his pants and boxers down to his knees, she gasped: "oh my God." Bud's penis was easily the largest she had ever seen; at least twelve inches in length and as fat as her wrist. She grasped his log with both hands and exclaimed: "holy shit Bud...why have you been hiding this monster." Her eyes were bugging out as she watched his prick grow even bigger and fatter, the more she stroked it. With his crown as large as a tennis ball, she knew there was no way she could get her lips around it, so she just leaned forward and swirled her tongue around his head. Kelly could feel her juices seeping out of her slit and knew she had to feel him inside her.

All thoughts of her con-job had escaped her mind as she fondled his meat. Knowing that nothing even close to that size had ever been in her, only made Kelly want it even more. She released his pole, crawled back up the bed, leaned back against the pillows and spread her legs obscenely wide. Seeing the uncertainty in his eyes, Kelly whispered in her sexiest voice: "fuck me Bud." He bounded onto the bed and crawled up between her long legs, his prick waving in front of him like an insects feeler. He could see the pink of her inner labia and it served as a target for his heat-seeking missile. All thoughts of them being related had escaped both their minds as Bud rubbed his huge crown up and down her wet slit.

Kelly could feel the pressure against her mound as Bud pushed forward. He grasped her shapely hips and thrust his pelvis, forcing his head to penetrate her, surprisingly tight, slit. "Ohhh shit," Kelly moaned as he stretched her opening wider than it had ever been. Bud's brain was flooded with emotions: he wanted to ram his rod up into her hole as hard as he could; and on the other hand he wanted to go slowly and enjoy the sensation. Slowly, he slid into her pussy, reveling at the way her snug, warm hole hugged his prick. Kelly's ass quivered against the bed as she felt Bud's giant pole stretching her tunnel inch by inch, excruciatingly slowly.

"I can't believe Kelly's pussy is still this tight," Bud thought as he paused when he was about half-way in. Raw lust finally took over and he suddenly jammed the remaining six inches up into her, all at once.

"Oh my God," she screamed as he stretched the entire length of her tunnel. He kept pushing forward, trying to stuff even more of his massive shaft inside her; grinding his pubic bone against hers. Kelly's naked body jerked when her clit was crushed between them and she begged him: "Jesus, Bud...fuck me...fuck me." Looking down at her nude body, Bud began to fuck her as hard as he could; jamming his monstrous cock into her. "Yessss, stretch my cunt, Bud...stretch me." Her perky, round breasts had flattened out on her chest and they jiggled up and down with each thrust. Bud reached up with both hands and captured them; pinching her elongated nipples between his fingers.

Her tits were so soft and silky that they actually diverted his attention from his prick momentarily; allowing him to prolong his performance. Bud couldn't believe how warm, wet and tight her pussy was; much better than he had imagined it all those times he had watched her undress. Finally after all those wet dreams, he was actually in Kelly's cunt...he was fucking his sister. "Oh shit Bud," she squealed, "your big fat cock feels sooo good...fuck me...fuck me, Bud." He slammed his massive pole in and out of her pussy, alternating long, slow strokes with violent, quick thrusts. Grasping her ankles, he spread her legs like a Thanksgiving turkey wishbone as he skewered her wonderful naked body.

Looking down he watched as his prick slid in and out of her juicy hole, a thick white froth surrounding her slit. Her fleshy lips gripped his pole tightly as he shoved into her. "I love how your giant cock stretches my cunt," she breathlessly groaned as he fucked her. Squirming under him, Kelly instructed him: "I want you to cum inside me...I need to feel your seed." Her cunt felt so wonderful, the way it gripped him, that Bud never wanted the moment to end; but there was nothing he wanted more than to shoot his load all the way up inside her.

"This is for all the times you've teased me," he thought as he rammed his cock into her hole and began to pump her full of his semen.

"Yesss," she screeched as he flooded her tunnel, "cum in me...fill my cunt, Bud. She wrapped her smooth legs around his waist, trapping him inside her as he continued to pump her full of cum. "Shit that feels good," Kelly moaned as her body quivered and shook. When he was done, they both were exhausted and satiated. He rolled off her body, his shriveling prick sliding out of her hole like a bloated snake. "Bud that was fantastic," she congratulated him, "from now on you can fuck my cunt anytime you want." She thought for a moment and then added: "we're going to have such a great time this week."

He wanted to believe her; that he really satisfied her so much that the girls were going to stay and party with them this weekend; but he knew his sister too well. He knew it was all a scam to get their tickets, and he couldn't let that happen. Unfortunately for Bud, she had drained him of his seed, and his strength; and he soon fell fast asleep. As Kelly gently rolled off the bed and slipped the envelope out of Bud's pants, she actually felt remorse (along with a stream of cum running down her thighs). For a fleeting minute, she thought about staying the week and letting Bud pleasure her; but she knew she couldn't let her friends down. Besides, she hated the Chicago winter and couldn't wait to flaunt her body in a bikini.

At the mall, a rotting branch had fallen in the storm that was now brewing and knocked down the power lines. Al and Griff had commandeered a trash barrel to burn garbage in to keep warm. Al's pretty-boy neighbor came through the door with a big grin on his face. He was married to Al's neighbor Marcy, had never been employed, and was basically a kept-man; Marcy's pretty boy-toy. "Hey guys, just wanted to drop by and say goodbye...I'm going to Fort Lauderdale to judge a beauty pageant sponsored by my old frat. Trip paid for by their scholarship fund! I can't wait...you guys know what Spring Break is like."

"Spring Break, huh," Griff pondered, "what did Marcy say."

"She said..."have fun at computer camp"...she thinks I'm going to school," Jefferson laughed

"Well...actually we don't know what Spring Break is like," Al confessed, "we've never been."

"Just imagine paradise," Jefferson painted a picture, "warm offshore breezes rippling through the palms; the waves breaking against the shore, and everywhere you look there are beautiful girls in bikinis. A cold brewski in your hand and girls begging you to rub suntan oil all over their nubile bodies. You should come with me...of course you would need money."

Remembering the money they had stuffed in their pockets from the shoe sales, Griff shouted: "there's nothing stopping us."

The four nerds had gathered at Bud's house in the unlikely scenario that the hot girls were actually going to show up. "They're not coming," Bud declared, "I'm sorry...Kelly conned me too." They turned on the TV and, sure enough, there was Kelly and her friends frolicking on the beach in Fort Lauderdale in the skimpiest bikinis the geeks had ever seen. When the doorbell rang, Bud opened the door to find Marcy standing in the cold.

"A woman," Bud's friends rushed the door and surrounded her, groping and tugging on her clothes. "Knock it off you animals," Bud told them, "it's just Mrs. Darcy."

When they backed off, she stood there flustered, her blouse open and her bra exposed. "Wow, that reminded me of my college days," she exclaimed, straightening her clothes. Marcy was constantly being chided by Al because of her extremely skinny stature; and he often compared her to a chicken with the world's smallest breasts.