Married with Children - Elly the Entertainer

Married With Children-Kelly the Entertainer

shaggy77

(fictional story about fictional characters)

(Recently I caught a rerun of this show and fondly remembered how it was one of my favorites in the early '90's. Hopefully this will stir some nostalgia in others.)

Al Bundy liked to consider himself a "man's man;" a common simple man with simple tastes. He had played high school football; married his high school girlfriend (when she had gotten pregnant),and had two children. They were both grown now: his son Bud, although quite intelligent, a real disappointment because he had absolutely no athletic ability and couldn't get a date if he paid for it...certainly not a chip off the old block. His daughter Kelly, although not the brightest candle on the birthday cake, was the apple of his eye. Blond, pretty and way too popular with the boys, she was his favorite. Al liked to watch the Cubs, drink beer, and frequent his favorite "nudie bar:" The Jiggly Room.

His life certainly had not turned out the way he had envisioned: paying halfback for the Bears. No, instead he had found, seemingly, lifelong employment as a women's shoe salesman. If you had asked him for a job description, he would have said: "smelling fat women's smelly feet all day." To top it off: his boss was a woman. Thankfully she was mostly absentee. His sales partner, and best friend, was Griff; a hulking black man who had also played high school football. There was hardly any business in the store and Gary, the female owner, kept it open merely for a tax deduction. Al and Griff spent their days tossing the shoes around like footballs. Finally though, Al had something to look forward to: that Saturday Griff was throwing a private party at The Jiggly Room.

When Al got home that evening, he wasn't surprised to find his wife Peg sitting on the couch eating bon-bons and watching Oprah. She hadn't worked a day in her life and was completely content to do nothing. "Oh Al," she began, "I hope you didn't have any plans for the weekend because we have to go to Wanker County. Mom fell out of bed, landed on Dad's foot and now neither one of them can get around. We have to go and take care of them for a few days."

"What...oh no...not this weekend," Al protested. "Griff's party is this weekend. He's celebrating his divorce...he finally got his get-out-of-jail-free card. Besides, I have to work. You don't think all this luxury grows on trees do you." He was desperate and tried to think of something...anything, to get out of going to hillbilly purgatory. "What about the kids...you know, Kelly and what's his name...we can't just leave them alone."

"The kids will be fine," Peggy told him, "Bud is in college and Kelly is twenty-one...you're going. At least for the weekend; but I may have to stay longer."

"Kelly's twenty-one," he mused, "it seems like she just graduated from high school."

"She did, but that's another story," Peggy remarked, "you're going and that's that."

"Could my life get any worse," Al thought, "I have to go visit Hee Haw AND miss Griff's party. That red-headed anaconda is squeezing the life out of me...I was so great in high school...what the Hell happened."

When the kids got home that evening and Al told them the news, he added: "you be a good girl this weekend Pumpkin; and Bud...well...whatever." Kelly had gotten and lost several jobs since graduating, but considered herself an actress. She had enrolled in an acting school run by Larry Storch, who had played a character named Corporal Agarn in an ancient and very forgettable TV show called F-Troop. She had actually landed a spot in a commercial for one of Al's favorite snacks: Weenie Tots. Bud had volunteered to be her Manager and he "only" kept seventy per-cent of her pay as his commission. It had been a dry spell though and Al had convinced Ray, the owner of The Jiggly Room, to give her a job waiting tables.

Kelly would have been more that happy to be one of the dancers there, but Al would have none of that. She kept assuring him that she was "a good girl," but Al knew better. This way he could keep an eye on her and have an excuse for being a more frequent customer. When Bud heard the news of Griff's party and his parents going away; a lightbulb flashed in his mind.

The next day when Kelly got home from work, Bud met her at the door: "OK Kel, you say I never find you work, well I got you a job that pays $500 for one night."

Suddenly angry, Kelly yelled at him: "listen you little troll, I told you I'm not that kind of girl...although for $500 it sure would be tempting."

"Calm down Miss Easy," Bud told her, "the job is for dancing...you love dancing. Dad's buddy Griff is having a private party at The Jiggly Room after closing and he needs a dancer for entertainment. If you do a good job, besides the $500, you'll get tips." He neglected to tell her that the $500 was the total before his cut, which would be $350.

"Wow...$500 for dancing. Who will be at the party? They better not tell Dad," Kelly exclaimed.

"I think all of Dad's stupid NO MA'AM guys," Bud answered. NO MA'AM was the ridiculous organization Al and his buddies had formed to get out of paying taxes. It stood for National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood. "You know all those geezers drool over a young girl like you; they would never tell Dad...unless you didn't earn your money, then they would be pissed."

"For five hundreds bucks, I'll dance my ass off," Kelly told him with a determined look on her face.

"That's what I'm counting on," Bud thought to himself, and he told her, "I knew you were the right person for the job."

Peggy and Al departed on Friday night, and on Saturday Kelly spent the afternoon in her room practicing new dance moves and choosing what to wear. She knew that Bud had drilled a hole in their adjoining wall and was watching her change clothes. He was a little perv, but being somewhat of an exhibitionist she somehow felt flattered by the attention. She decided to wear a skimpy black lace bra and panties under her mini-skirt and crop top. At the last minute she discarded the bra; liking the way she looked with the short crop top barely covering the underside of her breasts. Her breasts were a marvel of gravity-defying mounds. A full 34 C and as firm as twenty-one year old tits should be. The mini-skirt showed off her smooth, shapely legs all the way to mid thigh.

Her perfectly round ass cheeks were a true marvel and as firm as a well-done rump roast. It was amazing how toned and firm her body was considering she got basically no exercise. Kelly surmised it had something to do with the fact there was never anything to eat in the house. Her mother's idea of cooking was pouring cereal in a bowl...if someone else went out and bought the cereal. The final touch to her outfit was five inch heels; or as Bud would call them: "invitation shoes." When she went downstairs, Bud was waiting and Kelly asked: "oh, you're going too."

"Of course I'm going," Bud responded, "someone had to collect our money." Truth was, Bud had big plans for Kelly's night and he wouldn't miss it for the world. He had made certain promises to Griff and he wanted to be a part of them. "Nice choice of outfits," he complimented her, "it makes a statement...rent me for an hour." She proceeded to punch him in the shoulder and they got into the Dodge.

At The Jiggly Room, Griff had completed the meager decorations for his Divorce Party which consisted of a few balloons taped to the walls, a couple streamers across the ceiling and a symbolic plastic ball-and-chain. When Kelly and Bud arrived, all of the congregated NO MA'AM members cheered and clapped. The attendees, besides Griff, were the two members with the largest beer-bellies: Ike and Bob Rooney. Officer Dan, a Chicago PD officer who was a very large, intimidating black man was there knocking downs drafts; and the Bundy's neighbor Jefferson Darcy were there also. Jefferson was the male equivalent of Peggy. He was a young, handsome pretty-boy who lived off the money of his banker wife, Marcy. He had never held a legitimate job and spent his days pampering himself, content to be a trophy-husband.

All eyes were on Kelly as she strolled into the bar, her wonderful ass swaying back and forth. She knew all of the men present and immediately felt comfortable and welcome as they offered her a seat at one of the tables she waited-on nearly every day. All the males tried not to be obvious as they stared at her crossed legs as her skirt rode high up her thighs. Griff greeted her warmly: "hey Kelly, you look magnificent. Join us for some snacks...we can't have you dancing on an empty stomach." They were all sitting around talking sports and drinking "boiler-makers." Now Kelly was used to pumping beer from a keg at parties, but hard alcohol was new to her as she followed their lead and dropped her shot-glass into her beer mug. After the second drink, she suggested that she should start dancing.

Officer Dan helped her up onto the bar and Kelly began to dance: swaying her wide hips and shaking her chest to the beat of the jukebox. Her amazing breasts jiggled and bounced as she danced, and whenever she raised her arms, the bottoms of her tits were visible. Gathering around the bar, they all got a glimpse of her panties under her mini-skirt when she aggressively shook her hips. After each dance, they would help her down from the bar to join them in a toast to Griff's divorce and to take a break. After Bob Rooney made the third toast, Kelly began to feel a difference in her equilibrium; feeling dizzy when she bent over too far or made sudden movements. Her dancing became slower, actually more sensuous as she ground her hips to the sides rather than throw them. Unaware that it was all part of Bud's plan, she started to feel very horny when the men shouted their encouragement as she danced.

Kelly had always liked to be the center of attention and now was becoming aroused as they praised her dancing and her body. "Take it off Kelly," Ike shouted after the next break, "you are amazing." Feeling a little wobbly on her heels now, Kelly smiled widely and suddenly grasped the bottom of her crop-top and whisked it off over her head revealing her marvelous breasts. "Woo-hoo," they all yelled, hollered and clapped as her tits jiggled and bounced against her chest. They were the perfect size for her body. Her large pink areola were topped by darker, jellybean sized nipples. She twirled the top over her head like a cowboy twirling a lasso and then let it fly across the bar.

Following whistles and catcalls from all the men, Kelly reached behind her and unzipped her mini-skirt. Teasing them for a minute, she then just let it drop to her feet and she kicked it aside; nearly falling as she did. Her black lace panties were tiny and just barely covered her obviously prominent mound as she spun around giving all sides a look at her body. The back had wedged itself up between her pale cheeks and her perfect ass was totally on display. Letting her instincts take over, Kelly proved to be a real show-woman as she bent completely over and touched the bar with her hands, giving them a close-up view of her incredible ass. They responded by leaning over the bar and stuffing money under the waistband of her panties...she even saw a couple of tens.

She had watched the regular dancers at the bar enough times to know what to do as she squatted down until her ass almost touched the bar, slid her panties down her legs all the way to her feet, and then stood up. Kicking them off to the side, she spread her legs and revealed herself completely to the men in the bar. "Holy shit," Griff shouted as they all stared at Kelly's crotch. Her dark blond muff was neatly trimmed to a small triangle that seemed to point to her slit. It was so closely cropped that they could all see her very long and fleshy lips as they extended from her mound. "You're gorgeous Kelly," Griff exclaimed as he crowded closer. Bud had gathered up all the money that had fallen from her underwear and was watching intently.

Her mind spinning, that was all the encouragement Kelly needed as she began to strut from one end of the bar to the other, her steps keeping pace with the rhythm of the music. She was in control now as she shook her chest, causing her breasts to wobble back and forth. Swaying and gyrating her hips, she could feel the beat of the bass in her veins and was becoming uncontrollably aroused. Stopping in the center of the bar, Kelly dropped down and sat on the edge, spreading her legs wide so everyone could see her pussy. Now it was her turn to watch as the NO MA'AM members began to shed their clothes. Griff was the most eager, and as his trousers hit the floor, Kelly smiled at the fat black prick that waved in front of him. It was at least eight inches of swollen meat and she could feel her crotch becoming damp. It was the first black penis she had ever seen and was truly impressed.

Kelly was widely assumed to be very promiscuous, but the truth was she was quite selective of who sampled her wares. Sure she was Polk High blowjob queen, but only a couple of boys had actually dipped their wicks into Kelly's honey-pot. Griff kneeled in front of the bar, reached out with his huge hands and spread her thighs even farther as he dipped his head into her groin. "Go Griff go," the audience chanted he trapped her elongated labia between his thumbs and forefingers and stretched them apart to reveal her bright pink opening. Her lubrication was dripping down her thighs onto the edge of the bar as he extended his tongue and lapped at her slit. Holding her wide open, Griff then stuck his tongue as far inside her pussy as it would go and wiggled it to touch her walls.

"Oh shit," Kelly moaned as she put her hands down on the bar behind her and leaned back. None of her boyfriends had ever performed cunnilingus on her, or even suggested it...they were all selfish lovers. Griff released her lips and used his thumbs to spread her slit even wider, lapping at her pussy like a dog with peanut butter stuck on the roof of his mouth. As Griff licked her slit, she watched as the rest of the group dropped their pants and fondled their dicks. After seeing Griff naked, she paid special attention to Officer Dan as his trousers hit the floor and had to stifle a gasp when his huge black prick sprang upward. It was at least ten inches in length and as thick as her wrist. She realized then, that she had been dealing with boys in the past and now had graduated to men.

Her neighbor, Jefferson, sidled up next to her at the bar, his seven inch pepperoni waving between his legs, and began to knead her amazingly soft left breast. "It's been a long time since I've felt a real tit," he told her; making a reference to his wife Marcy's boyish figure. "I'm so glad you're my neighbor Kelly...I've had my eyes on you for a long time." Ike and Bob Rooney both sported six inch rods that were a nice thickness, but were nearly hidden by their huge bellies. She noticed that her brother was watching intently, rubbing the crotch of his pants as Griff licked her snatch. Kelly's head was spinning from all the whiskey in the boilermakers as Griff stood up between her legs, grasped her svelte waist, lifted her and carried her over to one of the tables with his hard-on trapped between them. She didn't notice him giving Bud a "thumbs up" as he sat her naked body on the edge of the table. Kelly was completely aroused by Griff's oral attention and the sight of all the erections surrounding her, and unconsciously splayed her legs wider.

Griff took his prick in his hand and rubbed the head up and down her slick slit, stopping to just admire her youthful naked body. Kelly was so aroused that she reached down, hooked her fingers into the sides of her slit and pulled her lips wide open, in a clear invitation. Nudging against her opening, Griff grinned from ear to ear as he shoved forward and penetrated her tunnel. "Oh God," Kelly screamed as Griff drove forward, stuffing his thick cock up her incredibly tight hole. He grasped her hips and just kept pushing, stretching the length of her tunnel until his balls were wedged against her shapely ass. "Holy shit," Kelly yelled as she felt her vaginal walls being spread farther than they ever had. Bud grinned at Griff, non-verbally reminding him that he had promised another $300 if Kelly "cooperated" during the party.

Kelly leaned back on her elbows and closed her eyes momentarily; reveling in the sensation of having a real-man's cock stuffed in her pussy. She opened them when Griff slowly began to withdraw, allowing her vaginal walls to contract as he vacated. Griff and the rest of the men were speechless at the sight of her very prominent pale labia gripping his slick black shaft. He commented: "holy shit...wait 'till you feel how tight this pussy is. It's like fucking a virgin. Bud had to suppress a sarcastic remark about Kelly's virginity as he also tried to suppress how aroused he was at watching his sister being fucked. He had watched her changing clothes many times and lusted at her model's body, but never dreamed he would see her being violated. Knowing it was wrong, he knew he wouldn't be satisfied until he had a turn.

As soon as just his crown was left inside her, Griff lunged forward and forcefully jammed his thick pole up her steamy hole. Kelly's eyes widened as she felt herself being stretched again and she moaned: "ohhh yesss that feels so good."

Jefferson leaned over the table and again began to assault her firm, yet still soft, breasts. Fondling, and squeezing her fleshy mounds, he barely heard Officer Dan ask: "you look like you're having a good time there Jefferson."

"Are you kidding," Jefferson responded, "these tits are amazing...not like those pancakes Marcy calls breasts. I could play with these all night," and he quickly attached his lips to her right nipple.

Griff began to thrust into Kelly's pussy with all his strength, his scrotum slapping against her cheeks. "Fuck me"...she gasped..."fuck my cunt." She had no idea being fucked by a large prick would feel so good as he drilled into her hole. He wedged his hands under her round cheeks and, nudging Jefferson aside, lifted her off the table and held her suspended against his body. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist and locked her ankles, holding herself impaled on his penis.

"It would be a shame for that other hole to be wasted," Griff announced to the room.

It took a minute, but Kelly finally realized what he was referring to and she swiftly objected: "oh no...I've never...you can't mean it."

"Don't worry," Griff assured her, "once you get used to it, you'll love it." Then he called out to no one in particular: "look behind the bar and see what Ray has for a lubricant."

Ike went behind the bar, searched for a minute and then returned holding a squirt bottle: "I found some liquid hand soap...and it's antibacterial."

"It'll have to do," Griff told him. Ike squirted the slippery substance along his rod and approached Kelly from behind. With her legs stretched around Griff, her ass was presented to him like a gift from Heaven. Wedging his head against her sphincter ring, Ike thrust upward and penetrated her virgin asshole.

"Holy fuck," Kelly screeched as Ike forced his prick deeper into her rear tunnel. Nothing had ever penetrated her asshole before and the pain was excrutiating...at first. He paused as Griff slowly withdrew, making more room for Kelly's rear hole to stretch. Just when she was getting used to Ike's invasion and beginning to relax, Griff drove all the way up her pussy, stretching her all over again. "Oh God," she squealed at the sensation of both holes being split. Then they began to fuck her...simultaneously stretching her insides and stimulating places that had never been reached before. Griff and Ike started to thrust up into her wonderful body, fucking both holes as Kelly's wonderful nude body bounced between them.