"Mandy's First Adultery"
by J.D. Savanyu
October 18
th
, 1992
Mandy McAllister Cooper was getting horny on a muggy night in Medford. Waiting for a babysitter to arrive so she could take Georgie out for a romantic candlelit dinner, followed by an epic fuckfest with her husband at the Medford Motor Inn.
She tossed her pretty blonde bangs while gazing out her kitchen window at a bunch of kids playing on the street. They
had
to play outside, because most of their families couldn't afford cable TV, a Sega Genesis, or a personal computer. Even if they
could
afford a Tandy PC, the internet was too primitive to have much fun with it. Only a few hardcore geeks like Sheldon Cooper were surfing the world wide web. That annoying boy genius left for college at Caltech six weeks ago, after his father kicked the bucket. Leaving the rest of his non-genius family behind in a fading backwater Texas town.
Meanwhile, CeeCee Cooper started crying in her crib. Mandy turned away from the window and comforted their eight month-old daughter.
"Aww, there-there. Hush little baby, don't say a word, Momma's gonna buy you a mockingbird," she cooed, but the baby kept wailing away. "I never understood that song. Why would anyone in their right mind want to buy a mockingbird?"
"Beats the hell out of me," Georgie grunted. "I don't understand why she's crying. We just fed her, and changed her diaper."
"Babies can always tell when their parents are about to go out somewhere and leave them behind. They're great at reading body language, according to Doctor Spock."
"I wish you'd stop worshiping that liberal quack. He's about as qualified to raise your kids as Commander Spock on Star Trek. 'Live long and prosper,' my ass."
"Damn, honey. You're starting to sound like Sheldon," Mandy chortled.
"Wow. I really miss that motor-mouth brat. I really miss my dad, too."
"I know, babe." She patted her husband's shoulders reassuringly. "This is a tough time, but we'll get through it just fine."
Their emotional bond was still strong, but their physical bond had gradually loosened since their baby was born. They used to have wild sex every single night, but now she was lucky if Georgie fucked her once a week. If he wasn't too tired after working super-long shifts at McCallister Auto and Tire, barely making ends meet. They really needed this night on the town.
Just when CeeCee finally stopped crying, the phone rang in the living room, making her cry all over again.
"Aww damn, I ain't answering that," Georgie grunted. "It's probably another Bill Clinton tele-campaigner. Ain't no way in hell I'm voting for that fat womanizing commie hillbilly."
"It might be your mother, or
my
mother, so
I'll
answer it," Mandy growled, picking up the receiver. "This is the McCallister residence. What can I do you for?"
"Hey Mandy, this is Linda Carson, the babysitter you hired for tonight. I'm afraid I have some bad news. My mother fell down our front steps an hour ago and broke her hip. We're at the hospital right now."
"Oh my god, that's terrible."
"Yeah, we're all in a tizzy about it. So, obviously, I won't be able to babysit for CeeCee. And the office said there's no one else available on such short notice."
"That's okay, don't worry about it," Mandy replied, barely concealing her frustration. She wished the Carson family well, then hung up the phone and broke the bad news to her husband.
"God fucking
damn
it," Georgie groaned.
"Mind your French, honey," Mandy murmured, covering her baby's ears.
"Every time we try to have a little fun, something always comes along to fuck it. Sheldon ain't around to cause trouble anymore, so I guess god Himself is picking up the slack."
"I know, it sucks big time. I was really looking forward to doing the 'Boot Scootin' Boogie' at Bubba's Roadhouse."
"Me too. You're an awful dancer, and I love showing you up with my killer moves," he remarked, providing comic relief as always.
"Hell, I guess we'll have to stay here and watch L.A. Law, like a bunch of white trash losers."
"Naw, babe, you deserve better than that. Why don't you go ahead to the club, and I'll stay home with CeeCee."
"Really? You sure, Georgie?"
"Damn sure. You been working a lot harder than I have, raising that hellish little angel."
"Thanks a million, honey-bunch. I'll show you a great time when I get home. The bedroom boogie."
"Yee-ha! I'll sure be looking forward to that. In the meantime, don't get too friendly with all them cowboys."
"Don't worry, Georgie-boy. I won't drive my Chevy to their levee... if you catch my drift."
Mandy left that little house and cruised through Medford in a clunky '82 Celebrity. Passing the laundromat that Georgie's grandmother Connie Tucker used to own, along with the illegal gambling den in the back (until she finally got busted.) Mandy heard many rumors about Connie's crazy sex life. That slutty redhead banged lots of random guys right in her office, including Nick "The Rocket" Rafka, an 18 year-old quarterback for the Medford Wolves. Nick was #4 on the all-american football prospects list, and now he was the leading Heisman contender with the Texas Longhorns. Handsome as hell, and dumb enough to fuck an old bag.
"Way to go, you ginger golden girl," Mandy mused to herself, tossing her blonde bangs. "If I'm still giving that many blowjobs when I'm 70, I'll get down on my knees and thank the good sweet lord!"
She stopped at Lulu's Corner Cafe and had a four-course candlelit dinner for one. Savoring Lulu's famous chicken-fried steak while reading
To Tame a Cowboy
by Katherine Arthur. A delightfully corny Harlequin romance novel, with enough "heaving bosoms" to tip over a Longhorn bull.
She had a delicious cherry cheesecake for dessert, then she hopped back in her car and cranked up the volume on a local country station. "There Ain't Nothing Wrong With The Radio'' by Aaron Tippin. She entered the countryside with her head in the clouds, feeling like the wild weathergirl she used to be. Forgetting all about the stress of the past two years, with so many things going wrong. But she also found her soulmate Georgie; getting married and settling down to domestic bliss with a little bundle of joy.
"Domestic bliss" came at a steep price, leaving her starved for action. She needed to get laid, bad. What good is having a soulmate if he won't satisfy your earthly needs too? (Pastor Jeff would beg to differ, but screw him!) Mandy's mind drifted back to her previous boyfriend Kyle Labonte, the station manager at KRJZ in San Antonio. A hot thirty-something son of a cowboy who really knew how to please a woman. He used to fuck her right in
his
office, after she gave the weather report in tight dresses that flaunted her rockin' 34-24-32 body.