(Author's note: all characters depicted herein are over 21 years of age.)
I flew to Los Angeles to celebrate my sister's 40th birthday. I checked in at a Hilton downtown and drove to her house for dinner. During dinner, she could not stop talking about the television show, "Gilmore Girls" and Lauren Graham, the female star.
Lauren was in town for a major book signing for her new book, "Talking as Fast as I Can", and my sister wanted to attend and get a signed copy of the book. I thought it would be an appropriate birthday present to go with her and pay for a copy of the book for her. The next day we drove downtown, parked and walked four blocks to the book store where the book signing was to be held.
As it turns out, we were late and there were only a few people still in line. Lauren was as beautiful and funny as ever, chatting with each buyer. I purchased two copies, one for my sister and one for me. While my sister was chatting with Lauren, I slipped a handwritten note inside the cover of my copy.
As we were preparing to leave, I handed my copy of her book to Lauren and asked her to sign it for me, and before she could open it, I excused myself to find a restroom. I left the book with Lauren and took my sister home.
The Note:
"Dear Lauren,
I'm a huge fan of yours and I think you're adorable and gorgeous. I know you probably only date actors and producers with big egos and small penises. But when I desire a woman as beautiful as you, I like to make the following offer.
If you would allow me, i would like to give you oral sex, unlimited orgasms with no reciprocation required nor expected. i won't even take my clothes off.
The only thing I do ask in return is a second "date' during which we could get acquainted so that I may charm and entice you to have sex with me again.
If I can satisfy you orally, and you still choose not to allow a second date, I will still have the memory and the privilege of having been with an exceptionally beautiful and sexy woman.
I am at the Hilton at the airport, my cell is xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Sincerely, Will Norman"
Response to such bold proposals are rare, so I was especially surprised when Lauren called me a couple hours later. The conversation was brief but encouraging.
"Meet me in the lobby of your hotel at six p.m.", she said, "I'll bring your book. Expect to buy me dinner and nothing else."
Just like that; no questions asked nor other comments made. I didn't tell my sister because I wanted to have time, any time, alone with Lauren Graham.
I was dressed for dinner and waiting for her in the lobby much earlier than she said. When she came in, I felt like a virgin schoolboy on a first date. She strode right up to me and handed me the book I had purchased.
"Thank you," I said, "for the book and for coming to meet me."
"Let's have dinner; you have some explaining to do, Will."
"Of course; I didn't make reservations, but we won't need them here."
In the hotel restaurant, the waiter seated us, held her chair and asked for our drink order.
"I'll have three margueritas, line them up right here in front of me," she said.
"Decaf coffee for me, thanks."
I could hardly wait to talk with her. She had jet black hair, steely blue eyes and a perfect little nose. Cheeks in the right place to make her pretty and a mouth that constantly carried at least a half smile. Her teeth were perfect and pearly white. She wore just a touch of red lipstick. Any more and I would have been erect.
Elbows on the table, hands clasped together, she asked, "Why didn't you stay and ask me directly? Hiding a note in the book was like being in third grade again. What's the matter with you?"
"First of all, I didn't want to do it with my sister there. Secondly it was a coward's way out because you're so beautiful and famous that I didn't want to get rejected in public."
The waiter brought our drinks and asked if we wanted to order.
"I'll have a shrimp salad," Lauren said.
"Make mine a salad with grilled salmon."
The waiter left us.
"Why three drinks all at once?" I asked.
"One to take off the edge, one to sip and enjoy, and the last one in case I want to loosen up and consider your offer."
She smiled over the rim of the glass as the sipped on the first drink. I wanted her. I wanted her right there. I wanted to yank her onto the table on her back, flip up that flimsy dress and jam it to her right there in public. And for some reason, I think she could tell what I was thinking.
She sipped heavily, drinking half of the first marguerita.
"Does this "offer" of yours work often?"
"To be honest, Lauren, no. The majority of women ignore it, call me a pervert or just slap my face." That made her laugh.
"But it DOES work sometimes?" She asked with a big smile.
"There have been some women who accepted it, enjoyed themselves and sent me home, never to call me again."
"Aw, that seems rude."
"And there have been a few women who accepted it and DID give me the second date, which went fine, favorable for both of us."
"That tells me you must have some oral skills," she said, finishing the first marguerita.
"And, there have been a very few who enjoyed the oral so much, they insisted I undress and have sex instead of leaving."
"Lucky you."
