Love and Lust: Harley Quinn

Dick didn't know how long he slept when he felt the familiar sensation of a warm and wet mouth engulfing his member rouse him from his much-needed rest. He could tell that the person was a woman as he felt soft breasts brush against his scrotum. And she was a very enthusiastic woman at that.

"Gaghk! Engaghk!! Gurrghhkk!"

As he opened his eyes, blinking tiredly at the darkened ceiling above him, Dick was greeted to the sputtering and choking sounds of the woman sucking his cock, and her quivering mass rapidly rising and falling from under the blanket.

The former Robin let out a grunt as he hardened inside of the mystery woman's mouth, his cockhead burying deep into her maw, poking the back of her throat. This only seemed to encourage the woman, who sped up her efforts, trapping her pillowy lips around Dick's length as he moved slightly on the bed to turn on the LED light switch that was next to the nightstand, illuminating the room in a hazy crimson light.

The woman didn't stop fellating on his manhood when he did this however; and when Dick heard her gurgling laugh, he instantly knew who it was, and threw the blankets off himself and her with an exasperated sigh.

"Harley." Dick said stiffly.

"Mmm! Hmn-mm-Bmmm-BM!" Harley answered with incomprehensible gagging, her eyes wide and wicked as they stared widely up at him.

"I can't understand what you're--ARGHH!!" Dick threw his head back and groaned in aching pleasure as Harley took the rest of his prick into her mouth, gleefully deepthroating him and practically slamming her face against his pelvis.

"ERMMGAGHKK!!! GULGKK!!! URGHKK!"

Grabbing hold of Harley's twin ponytails, bright blonde with streaks of red and blue on either side, Dick began to thrust forward into the clown girl's slobbering lips, her neck bulging obscenely and chin bopping against his ballsack.

The insatiable villainess also placed her hands on him--notably on his gyrating hips, her fingers massaging his thighs suggestively as she eyed with a naughty glint in her eyes...

Dick hitched his breathe as Harley's tongue lathered and lapped at his girth, coating his shaft completely in her saliva...and once he got the chance to glimpse her pale, naked body--mainly Harley's round, apple-shaped booty wiggling back in forth in excitement--he knew he couldn't hold himself back from his imminent orgasm.

"God! Fuck! Harley!" Dick cried desperately, shoving the deranged blonde between her legs, forcefully holding her head to his crotch as he shot his load down her throat. "Suck it! Suck it all down!"

"Mm! MM! MMM!" Harley moaned with a choked gasp, her eyes rolling as she swallowed his seed, one of her hands furiously fingering her cunt to join him in a mutual climax.

Pulling back, Dick continued to empty his balls into her maw, causing her cheeks to swell full from his excess jism, his cockhead spurting one last rope of cum onto Harley's puffy lips when his prick limply slipped out of the clown girl's grasp.

"Aaahmmm! Mm-mm, that was some good man-milk!" Harley declared after gulping down his semen, her shrill voice slightly raspy from how intensely she had forced his length into her throat. "I gotta change my rating, it tastes even better straight from the tap!" With that, Harley stuck out her tongue and began to aggressively stroke Dick's diminished member, pointing his throbbing tip into her open mouth. "Aaah..."

"Aaugh!" Dick yelped in surprise as one last splotch of seed escaped his pulsing manhood, splashing directly onto the blonde's waiting tongue. "Ah...okay...that's all I have left..."

Ignoring his fatigued comment, Harley smacked her lips as she savored his taste and made an "okay" gesture with her hand. "Mmmn-yeah, make that 7/10..."

Dragging himself back and collecting himself from the fact that he had just gotten a blowjob from Harley Quinn, Dick turned and saw the night sky through the semi-closed curtain. "Urgh...how long was I asleep before you woke me up, Harley?"

The occasional girlfriend of Ivy cackled in response, folding her legs under her thick thighs up and resting her shapely behind on her heels to face Dick as she said, "About ten minutes. I was hidin' in your closet, waiting for you to notice the present me and Red left behind--but ya never did!"

"Present? What are talking abou-" Then, rubbing his eyes, Dick distinctly became aware of the flowery scent of sex that was in the room. And the various, slightly dried stains on the sheets...including on his pillow.

"Y-You...did you--?" Dick said slowly, running his hand through his hair and feeling the damp juices that were now saturated into his dark locks. Then he started yelling. "DID YOU AND IVY HAVE SEX ON MY BED?!?"

To his dismay, Harley doubled over in laughter at this, her nude body writhing distractingly on the bed.

"This isn't funny!" Dick growled, which only seemed to make the blonde giggle even louder than before. "It's one thing for Ivy to bring you and Selina here without telling me first--if that's even the truth, who else is here? Killer Frost? Livewire?"

"Pfft, I wish." Harley said, wiping her face clean of the tear tracks from her brief bout of uncontrollable laughter. "Red barely lets us bring other girls over, she always says that she prefers to hang out with her 'plant babies'...though we both know that's bullshit, ay, Boy Wonda'?"

Dick sighed. Was there any supervillain from Gotham that didn't immediately figure out that he was the first Robin?

"Well, like I was saying before, it's one thing to be here...but did you really have to reconnect sexually on MY bed?"

"Oh, don't be such a big baby about it, I bet you and your girlfriend make bigger messes here every night!" Harley retorted with a childish pout. "And a whole list of other gals, if what Ivy says about you is true..."

"Where is she?" Dick interrupted, "I think I need to discuss boundaries...and a new policy on houseguests..."

"Hey, who made you the boss of Red?!?" Harley suddenly snarled, pouncing Dick, a new incensed look in her eyes. "Ya know, before tonight, Ivy's been avoidin' me and Seliners for months--and it's causa' YOU put some spell on her, made her boy-toy-crazy..."

The clown girl trailed off as she felt his rehardened erection poke insistently against her pillow-soft thigh. She gawked at the sheer mass between their bodies, a bit of drool espading her lips as she spoke. "Holy shit...I never got a good look at it before, you know, 'cause I was in the dark...your schlong is so-"

Slowly pulling away from her aggressive embrace, Harley's shocked expression grew as she observed Dick's girth in its entirety...and quickly shifted said expression when she noticed the smug look on his face. "-So overrated! I can't believe this is the pecker that she never shuts up about! Like, what is that, only nine inches? I've got plastic pricks that are waaay bigger than this thang!"

"I'm so unlucky." Dick grumbled sarcastically.

"--Every guy escort I know is bigger, why'd Red settle for you?" Harley continued, "Especially with all these rules you keep pushing on her...no other girls allowed, this place is worse than Arkham!"

"It sure is." Dick checked his phone for the time.

"--But getting to bang all the girls you bang on the side is a pretty good reason to stay." Harley stopped her ramble to eye Dick's not-above-average endowment with mild interest. "You, uh, got hard really quick...do you always pop a stiffy that quickly after a girl slobs on your knob, or am I a special case?"

"This is because Ivy used her sex-pollen on me earlier tonight." Dick explained honestly, flinching at how Harley was now ravenously licking her lips as she stared at his aching hard-on.

While he was attracted to the pale-skinned woman to a degree--he also knew better than to 'stick his dick into crazy.'

Even when he was Robin, Dick had been wary of the psychotic clown girl, and despite the fact that he had developed crushes on all three 'Gotham Sirens', (he was still a hormonal teenager after all) there was just something about Harley Quinn that didn't appeal to him the way Catwoman and Poison Ivy did.

Maybe it was because she was generally more visibly unstable than the other two, (Ivy was arguably worse, but clearly she had the type of 'crazy' Dick preferred), or maybe it was because she dated the Joker, or it was simply the blonde's grating, shrill voice--complete with a Brooklyn accent--which compared to Selina and Ivy's smooth, silky voices, sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

"Surrre it is!" Harley teased, giving his stiffened manhood a playful flick, causing his length to bob up and down to her delight. "I bet ya had the biggest crush on me back when you were the Bat's red 'n yellow understudy--and you probably creamed your tights every time you saw this booty all wrapped up tight in my old jester costume, didn't ya?"

To emphasize her point, the clown girl proceeded to turn around and give her sizable rear end a hearty smack, her pale ass cheeks rippling to Dick's aroused detriment.

Dick turned away from the lewd sight, not wanting to give Harley the satisfaction by ogling her round bubble butt--unfortunately in the process, he gave her the opportunity to ogle him.

"Daaaamn!" Harley hooted loudly, staring unashamedly at his uncovered rear end, a new lecherous look in her eyes. "And I thought I had junk in the trunk! I almost forgot about the one good thing about you, Nightwing--dat ass! And it looks even better without that suit in the way!"

"Oh no--" Dick muttered under his breath.

"Hell, I think it might be bigger than my world famous dump truck ass--hey, do you got a measuring tape? 'Cause we could stand next to each other and--"

"No!"

"You gotta let me smack that bootay, please!" Harley begged, throwing herself around Dick's legs, peering up at him with puppy dog eyes. "Lemme feel it and grab it and squeeze it and bite it like an juicy apple-"

"No." Dick said firmly, pushing Harley's wandering hands as they snaked up the back of his legs.

"I'll let you touch my big butt if you let me touch yours, Nightfling!" Harley pleaded, rubbing her cheek against his cockhead, staining her face in his precum. "I'll let you do whateva you want with my ass--hell, I'll even let you fuck it just for a quick grab!"

"Pass." Dick grunted, checking his phone to text Kory about Harley's presence. Was she still 'punishing' Selina on the roof?

"Oh come oooon, I bet you let Ivy and ya alien girlfriend grab that oversized rump of yours!" Harley whined, planting small kisses on the side of his shaft as she spoke. "I'll suck your lousy wang again, how's that sound? Some more Harley Head in exchange while I get to cop a feel for ten seconds?"

"Alright, fine, but only because I did let Ivy and Kory grab my--aaughh!" Dick's reluctant surrender was somewhat stifled as Harley began to immediately felliate his member, engulfing it entirely into her throat in one fell swoop.

"Gaaaghkk! Gurgk!"

"F-Fuck, Harley!" The former circus acrobat flinched as the clown girl gleefully palmed his buttcheeks, painfully digging her fingernails into his skin. The pleasurable sensation of Harley swallowing his cock all the way to the root distracted him from this however; at least until he felt her fingers move closer together...

Yanking on the blonde's twin ponytails to pull her away from his length with a wet pop, Dick glared down at her, and cleared his throat. "What are you doing?"

"Just stickin' my little pinky into your market...I mean ass. What's the problem?" Harley said blankly, absentmindedly stroking his glistening cock.

"I said I was letting you touch my butt, not stick your fingers in it!" Dick stated firmly.

"No fair!" Harley complained, "How come all the other girls get to fingerbang you while they suck ya off, but not me?"

Dick raised an eyebrow at her explicit remark. "What are you talking about? My 'backdoor' is off-limits, exit only, closed for business!"

"Seriously?" Harley shrieked indignantly, a look of genuine bewilderment in her face. "So you don't let anyone tongue ya taint while they fondle your balls from behind? Or fist ya while you fuck them into the bed? Or peg ya brains out with those ninja sticks of yours?!?"

"I just said 'exit only', Harley, that means nothing goes in, I don't roll that way!" Dick retorted bluntly.

"So you don't let anythin' go in that perfect, chiseled bum you got back there? Not even a pinky toe?"

"Nope." Dick replied, going back to checking his phone for Kory's response. He really didn't want to fuck Harley at the moment, but-

"You're so boring! Every guy I've ever known has always been down for butt stuff, I don't know what Red sees in a prude like you!" Harley declared, crossing her arms and getting back up on her feet. "Well, in that case, my mouth is now exit only, so no more free blowies from me, Prudewing!"

"Once again, I'm so unlucky." Dick murmured. Unfortunately, Harley finally noticed the former Robin on his phone, and quickly snuck behind him to glance at his text conversation with Kory over his shoulder.

"Who are ya talking to? Is it one of your side chicks? And who's this 'Dick' guy this Kory girl keeps mentioning...WAIT--" Harley paused her barrage of accusatory questions and dramatically covered her mouth with her hand. "Is...that your real name, Nightbright? Is your actual name...Dick?"

"It is, but it's short for Richard--" Dick said quickly, bracing himself for the oncoming wave of immature jokes that someone like Harley would--

"Bahahaha!" Harley squealed, throwing herself back on the bed as her curvy figure writhed and laughed even harder than she had before. "This is too good to be true...I don't even know what to call you now...Dickwing? Nightcock? You must've been packin' the day you were born if ya parents named you that!"

"Okay, that definitely crossed a line." Dick replied, rubbing his temples in frustration. "It's really not that funny Harley, believe me, I've literally heard all the jokes about my name growing up..."

"Oh man, I got so much material to work with!" Harley exclaimed, excitedly rubbing her hands together as she began to spew out one unfunny pun after another. "If ya ever go missin', do you think everyone will go around, putting up signs that say 'MISSING DICK' on it! No, wait, I got a better one; does your girlfriend call selfies of you 'Dick pics?'"

"These are jokes literal pre-teens find funny." Dick groaned, his erection wilting in agreement, adding, "I swear, I'll make sure everyone calls me Richard from now on if it shuts you up!"

"Ooh, good idea!" Harley giggled, "You should also stop wearin' pants so everyone remembers your new name when you swing your floppy Richard around! Ha!"

"Please stop." Dick placed his phone back down on the bedside table, grimacing at what he was going to do next.

"But they really shoulda named you Fanny, cause that phat ass is way better than your-"

"Harley, I'm willing to have sex with you right now, if it'll make you stop making terrible puns about my 'endowments' for the rest of the night!" Dick announced, finally putting an end to the clown girl's seemingly endless ramblings.

"Hmm, I don't know..." Harley remarked stiffly, crossing her arms and pushing up her decent-sized bust, "Aside from the average-sized babymaker you got between your legs, you are a yummy piece of man-candy that Ivy's got a sweet tooth for...but how fun can a killjoy prude like you be in the sack."

"I can go as rough as you want." Dick answered swiftly.

"Deal!" Harley cried out, pulling out a pair of what looked like police-issue handcuffs seemingly from out of nowhere. "Oooh, this is gonna be so fun--how about I cuff ya to the bed, you put on a blindfold, and--"

"Not that rough!"

"You're no fun!" Harley grumbled, throwing the handcuffs behind her with a huff. "No one ever wants to play with 'Dommy Harley' whenever I fool around with 'em! Not even Ivy! (She keeps complain' that the legit handcuffs are a turn off) So what's your idea of a good time then, Dick-for-brains? Missionary without a rubber?"

Dick made an inviting hand motion over his rigid length. "Why don't you hop on, and find out?"

"Okey-dokey!" Harley whooped, leaping forward and throwing herself bodily onto Dick again, this time, snaking her arms around his neck as the younger man grabbed hold of the blonde's bubble butt to balance himself. "I hope ya got a license to ride this 'Harley' then! Just listen to it purr! Vroom! Vroom!"

"Uh huh." Dick gasped, the clown girl nearly choking him when she tightened her grip around his throat. He also almost fell over by how suddenly she had jumped onto him; luckily Harley was far from the heaviest woman he'd carried in his arms in this position.

Except for her shapely derrière, which molded softly in his hands as Dick gave her own 'oversized rump' an excited squeeze of his own.

"Haa-yeah, go figure, the guy with a big butt likes big butts!" Harley cooed as his digits continued to caress her ample behind, and leaned up to brush her bouncing breasts against Dick's chin, adding, "Or maybe you're one of those guys who are still into big knockers like these..."

"Mmn, definitely a breast guy." Dick said huskily, giving the clown girl a smirk as he continued. "But I usually prefer breasts a little bigger than yours-"

"Hey!" Harley squawked with an outraged huff, pulling one of her hands back briefly to smack him on the nose. "Any other guy would gladly take a gal with a big booty like me over any of the cows you bang on the regulah! Who even likes boobs nowadays?"

"I can still drop you, you know." Dick cut in dryly.

"Mmn, please do." Harley moaned, feeling the tip of his length poke against her inner thighs as Dick aligned himself to her dripping sex. "Just gonna warn you now, Dickie, that I'm a screamAGHHHHH!!!" Her warning was interrupted as Dick proceeded to lower the blonde onto his manhood, the first few inches of his girth piercing her inner folds.

"FFFFFUDGE AND BEANS, THAT FEELS GOOD!" Harley wailed loudly, digging her nails into his back and constricting her agile legs around his waist. "HOLY MACARONI, IT FEELS LIKE A FRICKIN' HUNGARIAN SAUSAGE IS INSIDAH ME! WHOOOO!!!"

"Yeah, you're a screamer." Dick groaned, his legs already beginning to shake as the crazed clown girl gyrated on his cock, sinking herself deeper and deeper with every bounce.

He carefully gripped her squishy ass cheeks as he began to thrust back up into her, pushing his prick into her squelching cunt, orgasmic juices already leaking from between their union.

"SWEET SASSAFRAS, I'M CUMMIN'!!" Harley shrieked, her nails painfully digging into his back as she threw herself back and came on his cock. "OOHMNN, IT'S LIKE THERE'S A GODDAMN TSUNAMI IN MY PUSSY! HAAAA-AAAH!"

"Augh, s-slow down, Harley!" Dick hissed, the sound of her hips intensely slapping against his beginning to fill the room. "You're making it very hard to carry you like this!"

"You got those hunky muscles, use 'em!" Harley snapped, nibbling on his arm and then his ear, throatily gasping as she felt herself bottom out on his cock, his balls wetly pressed against the globes of her ass. "Haaa-oooh, yeah! There we go, ah! I'm takin' it all the way! Rosanna, yeah!"

"That's not even the lyrics to the song!" Dick commented airily.

"Shut up, I'm cumming again! Aaah-haaah!" Letting out another deafening squeal, Harley's quim clenched around his member, dousing Dick's lower body in her fluids. And, increasing his desperate pumps into the blonde, he joined her, moaning when his climax finally came.

"Oh, fuck, here it comes!"

"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, SHOOT YA SPUNK INTA MY TIGHT FLOWERPOT!!!" Harley screamed to the ceiling as another orgasm coursed through her quivering form, "FILL ME UP WITH YOUR PROTEIN SHAKE! AAA-HAAH, STRRRIKKKEE, HOLE IN ONEEE!!!"