This is a fixer for Gilmore Girls episode "Keg! Max!" (3.19), more specifically to what happened (or didn't happen) in Kyle's parents' bedroom. Literati smut. Just something I needed to get out of my system. I don't own Gilmore Girls nor the original dialogue, but there are just a few lines of that in here.
All characters are 18 or older at the time of this scene.
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Rory could tell something was up with Jess from the moment she'd met up with him to go to Kyle's party that night. He'd been quieter than usual, less up for their intelligent banter, only really speaking when someone directly asked him something. All she could think of it was that perhaps he was tired.
He had been working a lot recently, though he'd never gone to great lengths to explain what he was working for. She knew it was his way of ensuring he had some kind of a future, that he wouldn't be stuck working at the diner and living with Luke for the rest of his life. But he never really dared to dream much, at least not in so many words.
But Jess was the classical night owl, Rory knew that. He didn't tire that easily - and the realization left Rory without a decent explanation.
Helping the band setup had been less fun than Rory had expected. It was like waiting for something great, something exciting to happen, but it just wasn't happening, and it was only making Rory feel worse about dragging Jess over to Kyle's. It was her first party, the unsupervised kind. And no matter what happened, she was kind of excited to be there.
She wasn't really sure what to expect. All she had to go on was everything she'd seeing Freaks and Geeks, 10 Things I Hate About You and American Pie - and those hardly qualified as documentaries.
Clearly Jess thought they'd arrived too early, which was uncool on so many levels and he wasn't shy about expressing it. This just made Rory feel worse, but she tried to put on a brave face.
Jess knew how to party, he'd done this before. He looked cool, his essence was cool. He knew how to arrive fashionably late, something Rory had never known how to do. She was always too eager. Hell, Jess knew how to install a keg - he was so beyond anyone at that party. He was a city boy, unlike the rest of them.
To bury all that insecurity, Rory had just tried to reason with him and pretend that being early and letting things play out as they were happening was cool, but she could tell he wasn't convinced. At least she desperately hoped that was all it was.
He'd even begged her to just leave with him, but she'd convince him to stay a little longer. Her kisses seemed to pause any unhappiness for a minute or two and persuade him to do a lot of things. Not all things though - he didn't exactly share a lot of what he was thinking.
"There you are!" Rory exclaimed with relief, having found him after looking all over the house for him for at least twenty minutes by now. Jess was sitting in an empty bedroom, having clearly found a comfortable space to hide out. That certainly was like him - all that was missing from this picture was him having at least one light on and having a book in his hand. There was no book, no light either.
"Hey," Jess replied, straightening himself in the dark green armchair by the window.
"I've been looking all over you," she said, worriedly.
"Just got tired of everything down there," he replied, briefly.
Rory closed the door behind her. Clearly he didn't want to be around people, and feeling a little guilty for having convinced him to stay as long as she had, she figured she could at the very least give him that private space. Maybe she could just keep him company? She really wasn't about to force him to go back down there.
Rory walked across the room and Jess got up from the armchair. The prospect of being alone with him wasn't half bad now that the band had performed and Rory had done her duty as Lane's personal fanclub.
Making out with him was quickly becoming one of her favourite hobbies, each time losing herself a little more in him. She was definitely thinking about it becoming something more. And the fact that they were at a keg party, upstairs in a random bedroom - the thought of spending some alone time, getting lost in him again, and perhaps cheering him up in the process, actually kind of had that rite of passage sound to it, even if it was a bit of a cliche.
"Are we allowed to be up here? I mean, Kyle was kind of discouraging it," Rory worried, glancing around the room a little. The room was nice, a little too pink and flowery to her taste, but at least it didn't smell excessively of some overbearing perfume, like some bedrooms did.
She was always such a good girl, so sweet and innocent - it was almost annoyingly cute - Jess thought. He was nothing like that.
"When you have a party, you get what you get," Jess sighed.
He certainly had more experience with parties. It was also the reason why he's specifically avoided throwing them, not that he had a place to hold one these days. Nothing like Kyle had, not by a long shot, and being in this house - where everything was so polished, so white-picket fence, two point five kids and all that crap. Pictures of this facade of a happy family, that's what he chose to believe it was at least, it really wasn't doing his self image any favors either. In fact, it was only making him feel worse about himself.
"Yeah, I guess," Rory exhaled.
Rory extended her hand to stroke his cheek, seeing him miserable like that. Jess just barely grazed her palm with his lips, appreciating the caring gesture.
"Sad boy, what's wrong?" Rory inquired, in a sweet tone.
"You were looking forward to this party, what happened?" she continued worriedly.
"Nothing," Jess grunted, barely audibly, but Rory could tell it wasn't nothing.
"Something did," Rory noted.
She was sick of pretending there was nothing. He was always like this - just shutting her out. She had her own suspicions by now. She knew more than she'd let on, but she didn't want to just bust him on it either. She knew that his reasons for not speaking were not that he had anything against her - he just didn't dare to, he didn't know how to.
"Come on, tell me," she urged. She had to try at least.
But before he had really a moment to actually take in what she'd said, he kissed her. He was kissing her with more than just lust. It was about appreciation, feeling like she was the only person in the world that he wanted to be around. He... he loved her, but he was nowhere near putting that into words.
But knowing what a disappointment he was, how he didn't measure up to her in any logical way - he was kissing her almost like it might be the last time he got a chance to do it.
While he'd sat in that room alone, a lot of very dark scenarios had gone through his head. He'd thought about leaving before Luke found out, he'd thought about begging Luke to give him another chance, but he was pretty sure that wasn't happening. He'd thought about putting up with her mom, but that just would drive him insane, he knew that. He'd thought about his father - maybe that was his way out?
