Note- third entry in this series. Treat it as if it were an X rated spoof of the Sean Connery movie. Mila Kunis is Annie, Nicole Scherzinger is Pocahontas, and adult movie star James Deen as Billy.
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Texas, 1881
It was the inevitable suggestion of that brilliant adventurer and big game hunter, Professor Allan Quatemain, that there should be a female version of the League. It was he who was the person responsible for the formation of the original League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, a unit of remarkable and heroic figures, that would team up to fight dastardly crimes against the British Empire. But he supposed that there might be tasks more suitable for the fairer sex to deal with. Sleeping with a male foreign agent in order to gain vital information was just one scenario that sprang to mind. A task that would be beyond the original members.
"I wonder if he had me in mind all the time?" Mused Annie Oakley as she and Pocahontas arrived at the national fairground in Abilene.
She and the Native American had been chosen especially to assist in retrieving one of four mechanical keys. Keys, that when united would trigger a unique detonator of a doomsday bomb named the H bomb. A repulsive device that would kill thousands with its poisonous group of bacterium such as smallpox, anthrax and the like. Created by criminal genius and speculator known as Fantomas, it posed a current threat of worldwide devastation that would likely result in World War.
Abilene in Texas had been established as a shipping point on the Texas and Pacific Railway and was named after Abilene, Kansas. That notorious town where Wild Bill Hickok had once been Town Marshall. Veteran of the Civil War and now turned American showman, Buffalo Bill Cody had just arrived in town with his travelling vaudeville Wild West show. Formed of a group of actors and talented performers Cody entertained his sell out crowds with circus like attractions, horseback parades and re enactments of some of his astonishing adventures in the open air.
"There. That is what we seek."
The attractive and youthful Annie pointed to a big marquee with the legend 'Sharpshooter Contest. Come one, come all. Big prizes to be won.'
Having been transported to Texas by the Time Lord known only as the Doctor, Annie and Pocahontas had been informed that locating the key was of the utmost urgency. The two women had both been amazed by the magical time and space ship that the Doctor named TARDIS. Apprehensive at first to enter the somewhat small blue box the women had entered a mind boggling interior that was somehow much bigger than the outside.
"Come on you two, get a shift on. Time is of the essence. Even if I DO own a time machine. I must get back to London immediately, but I'll be back."
The female Time Lord, dressed in outrageous culottes and rainbow shirt, popped back inside the strange object which promptly vanished. She had been reliably informed by Quatemain just before he and the league had been incapacitated that one of the keys could be sought in the open air vaudeville show.
"Do you suppose that the Doctor is a witch?" Said the pretty girl under the oversized straw hat.
Annie was born in Ohio in 1860 and by the age of eighteen had become an expert marksman and trapper. Known in her home town by the nickname of 'little sure shot' Annie could shoot the ash off of held up cigarettes, split playing cards held edge on at thirty paces and snuff out burning candles. The dark haired beauty stood at a petite five feet four and dressed in a check shirt and tan skirt that reached to her cowboy boots. Around her trim waist she wore a cowhide belt with a silver buckle with her ammunition cartridges all around. As always in her hands she held her current favourite, a Winchester 1873 44 calibre smooth bore rifle. They strolled over to the tent and noted the main shoot was for the following morning. Annie peeked inside and saw a glass trophy cabinet with silver cups and medals. One in particular caught her eye, a medal with colour ribbon and a curious addition. A metal object, two inches by four.
"That must be it. The Doctor was right. All I have to do is win the cup and medal and retrieve the key."
"Couldn't we just steal it?"
"Too risky, come on. We have until tomorrow evening before the Doctor returns for us. Let's go get a room."
As they carried on their way Annie paused in mid stride and put her hand to the side of her face and turned to her companion.
"Hey! That sullen feller there with the faded black hat over his eye is Billy the Kid!"
A figure in black under a long dust coat with a slender build had his back to a wooden fence and was smoking a small cheroot. He had a rifle cradled in his arms and wore his peacemakers on his right.
"Are you sure?"
"Damn right I am! He's been on the run all year since he busted out of jail in New Mexico. Must be lying low in Texas for now."
Aged only twenty one Billy had indeed escaped from jail only three months before after Pat Garrett had captured him. He had a $500 bounty reward on his head but few were foolhardy to try to take him on. Known for his lightning fast draw he was rumoured to be able to clear leather and fire accurately on target ten times out of ten. Annie studied his holster and noted the holster was cut away around the trigger and grip for a smooth draw. His gun belt was worn low on his hip and outer thigh and was tied down tight.
"So that's his secret. Clever."
"Do you think he plans to steal the silver?"
"Could be, but I know he regards himself as an expert gun handler. He may be just vain enough to try to win the prizes. Come on."
About five hundred yards from the wild west show was the main thoroughfare with various flea bitten lodgings. They saw a rather better looking hotel down by the haberdasher. The sign above the front door told them that this was 'The Abilene Hotel and Saloon.' The two women entered and took a look around the dimly lit saloon area. The inside didn't seem much cooler than the outside and the air seemed stale.
"Evening ladies. Whiskey?"
The bartender flung a dirty looking cloth over his right shoulder and eyed them up, raising an eyebrow at the sight of the redskin Pocahontas. The willowy Indian wore a long rustic buckskin dress with a fringe hem and sleeves. Her boots were of a similar skin with deep autumn tones and a fringe top. Her hair was in two pigtails with a patterned head band around her forehead. Descended from the original Pocahontas, a Powhatan Indian from Virginia, she had lived all her life in England and went by her middle name of Nicole. Her ancestor had famously rescued John Smith from execution back in 1617 and later moved to England where she married another colonist by the name of Rolfe. Throughout the generations the Native American traditions carried over and the current Nicole was proficient in tracking, predicting the weather and surviving in hostile environments. A choice companion for Annie Oakley in Texas.
"No. We need a room for the night. How much?"
"For two sharing? I'll take a dollar. In advance mind."
Annie threw four coins across the counter and turned with Nicole to the stairs.
"You're lucky. What with Buffalo Bill here and all we only got two left out of the ten."
"And we need a bite to eat. Some biscuits and gravy with plenty of coffee."
"Fine, room number three, just on your left. And there ain't no lock or key."
They found the flaking door and went inside. The room was eight by ten with one twin sized bed with an iron frame and a horsehair stuffed mattress. Two cloth sacks served as pillows filled with goose feathers and looked to have years of sweat and other bodily fluids soaked into them. Under the bed was a porcelain chamber pot which also have off a well used smell. Three hooks on the wall served as a place to hang clothing next to a wash stand with porcelain basin and wall mounted mirror. They returned to the saloon for supper and then prepared for bed. Annie lit the oil lamp and flopped onto the hard mattress.
"Well, this is what you get for just four bits. It's just for one night."
Nicole filled the basin and rinsed her face as Annie began to undress. In her burlap bag she fished out a long cotton nightshirt and stepped into it. She watched the Indian strip off and step over to the bed. The young sharpshooter felt her jaw drop at the sight of the dazzling beauty in front of her. Blessed with a pleasing mocha complexion she was a truly striking creature. Her vibrant raven hair hung loose down her narrow back and her massive 34D breasts thrust out in front of her. Annie noted the perfectly rounded rump which jutted out behind her in a bubble butt. Her striking body slinked inward at the hips and nestled between her majestic thighs her lush Mons was concealed under a jet black mass of tight curls. As she drew the one skinny blanket back Annie furrowed her brow.
