Joker Chatte A Deux

1972 was the year of no return for Gotham City. The streets were overrun with criminals, plunging the massive metropolis into chaos, despite the super heroic efforts of Batman, Batgirl, and Robin. Penguin and Poison Ivy wreaked all kinds of havoc, while Two-Face and Doctor Freeze put the "chill" on the GPD. Mayor Linseed was just as bad as the Falcone mafia cronies who lined his pockets with bribes, but that charismatic politician was good at selling lies.

Linseed launched a clever smoke-and-mirrors PR campaign to divert attention from his failing policies and win a third term. He broke ground on a Jazz Hall of Fame and an observation tower that would be twice as high as the Space Needle in Seattle. He also negotiated with the Smithsonian in DC to loan the Hope Diamond to the Gotham Museum. The most famous hunk of carbon in the world, worth nearly $300 million.

"A big shining symbol of hope, inspiring Gothamites toward a golden age of peace and prosperity!" Mayor Linseed proclaimed at the unveiling "Diamond Gala," surrounded by hot blondes, smokin' redheads, and corporate creeps. Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne shook his hand and smiled for the cameras; rolling in dough from Linseed's exclusive municipal infrastructure contracts with Wayne Enterprises.

A few hours later, the Clown Prince of Crime pulled an ace out of his sleeve. Joker approached the closed museum entrance with a gang of six cronies. His trademark green hair clashed with his white makeup and creepy red lipstick. The rest of his outfit was comically killer: a sharp purple suit, a lime-green button-down shirt and purple pinstripe Al Capone pants. His henchmen wore medieval court jester outfits, like a warped version of the Droogs from

A Clockwork Orange

. Gaggy, Jonny Frost, Jackanapes, Bozo and Bud looked classically ridiculous.

One hot woman tagged along: Joker's ditzy but dangerous lover Harley Quinn. Mysteriously beautiful in white makeup with a black masquerade ball visage around her eyes. A tight red-and-black medieval harlequin outfit hugged her 34/24/35 body. Ringing the little silver bells that dangled from her head as she pranced along. Gaggy cut the phone lines while Jackanapes cut a wire that led to the external alarm bells.

"Come on, Harley-boo," Joker waved toward his raven-haired lover. "Shake your slutty money-maker for a good diversion,"

"Anything for

you

, Mister J," Harley beamed, planting a kiss on Joker's lips. She went up to the main entrance of the museum and banged on the glass doors while Joker and the gang lurked behind a cluster of cypress trees. A bunch of night guards marveled at Harley's enchanting Arthurian beauty, and unlocked a door for her. She only joined Joker's gang a few days ago, so they didn't recognize her as an evil conniving bitch.

"Can I help you, Miss?"

"Yeah. I was walking toward a costume party at Club Chameleon, but I got lost. Can you tell me how to get there?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart. Just go five blocks down Luthor Boulevard, then swing left on Kent Lane for two more blocks, and turn right on Olson Drive. There's a big neon chameleon in front."

"Thanks. Hey, you're really cute," Harley uttered seductively and deviously. "There's something

else

you can help me with."

"Yeah, what's that?"

She pulled up her red-and-black top, revealing an incredible pair of tits.

"Holy shit!" the guard exclaimed with a big smile.

"Fuck the costume party. Let's have our own little 'ball' right here."

"Damn, clown-girl. You're hot

and

crazy," another guard chuckled.

"And I love men in uniform. Wanna see the rest of me?"

"Hell yeah, baby. Get your leathery ass in here."

The guards led her into the lobby, with their dicks hijacking their brains. Carelessly leaving the entrance unlocked. They lined up in front of her under a hanging red metal Calder sculpture.

"Show me yours first, fellas," Harley giggled, glancing over at the entrance. The insane clown posse came out of the trees with gas masks on.

"Fair enough," the tallest guard snickered.

Those five fit guys whipped their hard dicks out of their pants, making Harley giggle louder.

"I'd love to see a painting of

those

by Picasso."

"Fuck Picasso. Get naked, and get our cocks in your dirty harlequin mouth."

"Public sex in an art gallery? That's a real 'classical gas!'"

Joker and his henchmen burst through the unlocked door in gas masks, pointing gas guns at the guards.

"What the

hell

?" they shrieked in unison. Harley pulled out her own gas mask and strapped it on her ghostly white face.

"That's a very good question," Joker beamed comically behind them. His shrill voice was oddly filtered through the mask. "What

is

hell? Well, you don't have to be a bible-thumping nut to know the answer. Hell is a place called Gotham, where clowns with no makeup run the City Hall circus, and minimum-wage losers like you scoop up the elephant shit."

POOF! HISS! WOOSH!

The guns blasted out a yellowish vapor, filling their lungs with a hefty dose of nitrous oxide, commonly known as "laughing gas." Those dim-witted police academy rejects collapsed onto the marble floor, laughing like a bunch of hyenas.

"What's so funny, fellas?" Joker asked wryly. "A dirty joke? I'm no prude, so let me in on it."

"Ha-ha, oh my, a-ha-hooo! You're a bad motherfucker, a-ha-ha, Mister Joker!"

"Damn right. I've grown to love that moniker, but my real name is Arthur Fleck."

"A-ha-

haaa

! Fuck you, Fleck!"

He kicked that guard right in the balls, but the anesthetic effect of the gas blocked the pain.

"Hell yeah, Mister J. Let's bust some piggy nuts!" Harley cheered. They kicked the rest of the guards in the family jewels, but they kept right on laughing. Inspired by the dystopian "ultra-violence" of Kubrick's Clockwork Orange. The only thing missing was Beethoven's ninth symphony.

BOFF! BONK! URKKK! ZLONK!

"

I'm singin' in the rain, just singin' in the rain

," Joker sang like Gene Kelly, whacking a guard in the face with his ivory cane.

"

What a glorious feeling, I'm happy again!

" Harley Quinn sang like Debbie Reynolds, kicking another guard right in the mouth.

"Not even the Ludovico Technique could cure us!" Joker cackled.

BAM! BIFF! KAPOW! KER-PLOP!

"That's enough, boys. Tie 'em up and hang 'em like mink stoles," Harley ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," the henchmen grunted.

"I love your crazy ass, Miss H," Joker snickered, playfully smacking Harley's tight leather-wrapped ass. The henchmen bound and gagged the giggling bloody guards, and tied their arms to a long metal rack in the coat room. She kicked them all in the nuts one more time, just for the hell of it. The laughing gas would wear off in a couple hours, but nobody would find the guards in that room until the museum reopened in the morning. Joker took Harley by her red-gloved hand and led her down the main hallway toward the artistic galleries.

"Gentlemen and lady, let's broaden our minds!" he beamed sarcastically. They pranced merrily through a big room full of classic masterworks, smashing everything in sight. Like Alex and the Droogs in A Clockwork Orange, after getting high on "milk-plus." They spray-painted over a Monet, hacked through a Manet, and demolished a Degas ballerina statue. The Joker paused in front of a copy of Leonardo da Vinci's crowning achievement.

"Ah, Mona Lisa," he sighed longingly. "I wish I could travel back in time to the Renaissance, and give her something to

really

moan about."

"Me too," Bozo agreed.

"I wanna shove my big cock through those smirking lips," added Jonny Frost.

"Get real, boss. A classy dame like her would never bang a bunch of low-class clowns like us."

"You're right, Gaggy. Screw that stuck-up Eye-tie bitch," Joker grunted. He pulled a magic marker out of his purple pocket and drew a black mustache over Mona's mysterious smile.

"Come on, you third-rate comedians," Harley groaned, waving them onward. "Momma wants a big fucking diamond, to fill in the gaping hole where her soul used to be."

They climbed a grand marble staircase, marched through three more gallery chambers, and finally saw the Hope Diamond. Much to their surprise, they also saw . . .

"Catwoman?!"

That prissy leather-wrapped vixen beat them to the punch, with amazing cat burglar skills. Her lean gymnastic body was attached to a rope that dangled from a circular hole in the roof, directly above the diamond. Ropes of fog seeped downward from the night sky over Gotham City. Catwoman held a black diamond saw in her right hand, and the sawed-off clear protective case in her left hand. That huge dazzling bluish rock glimmered on a pendant with smaller clear diamonds. Ready to be grabbed by her dirty "paws."

Catwoman turned toward the clown posse, wiggling her black leather tail. A sexy black cat mask veiled her true identity. A psycho incognito bitch, just like Harley Quinn. Joker and his henchmen pulled out high-caliber pistols, aiming them at the heart of that highly feminine supervillain.

"Nice guns, boys," Catwoman uttered suavely. "And

girl

," she added with a wink, admiring Harley's rockin' bod.

"Get your paws up in the air, pussy-bitch!" Joker growled. "That rock is

ours

!"

"Now-now, funny man. I'm sure we can find a diplomatic solution to this crisis."

"Diplomacy, my ass! You're a lone wolf in a fucking cat suit. You never share your loot with the rest of us in the Falcone family."

"I'm a freelance professional, but I'm just as bad as The Penguin, Deadshot, Lady Shiva . . . and the

Joker

."

"If you're such a bad-ass pussy, then why did you fuck Batman?"

"Batman is a hot fucking hunk in form-fitting latex, with a belt full of awesome Special Ops gadgets. What girl

wouldn't

fuck a guy like that?"

"She's right, Mister J," Harley chimed in. "I've been picturing his bat-face every single night, while you're fucking me in that psycho clown make-up."

Joker grunted indignantly at his bitchy sidekick. Catwoman took a bold step forward, ignoring all those weapons pointed in her direction. She went right up to Joker and adjusted his necktie with her artificially clawed fingertips. Cocking her head with a sly grin, crinkling all that black leather, getting him "hot under the collar."

"I've been picturing

your

face every single night, clown-boy," Catwoman uttered seductively. "When I'm playing with my cat-pussy."

"So fucking what?" Joker growled awkwardly.

"

Sooo

. . . let's make a deal. I'll let you share the massive profits from this hunk of carbon,

if

you let me share your clown cock."

"Are you fucking serious, you bird-brained cat-bitch?" Joker snickered. The rising bulge in his purple pinstripe pants betrayed his keen interest.

"Fuck yeah, joke boy. With all that money, we can buy enough firepower to blow Batman and Robin to smithereens. Batgirl too. And then we'll

own

Gotham City."

"That's a very lucrative proposition, you furless feline witch. Twenty minutes of hedonistic passion for decades of domination."

"I wanna pound that kitty-bitch too," Bozo beamed.

"Hell yeah. Six clowns and one cat, up a tree," Jackanapes remarked.

"Mee-

oww

, I love gangbangs. Like most female queens in heat," Catwoman purred comically. "Your Shakesperean lover doesn't consider that cheating?" she asked, pointing at Harley Quinn.

Joker's girlfriend laughed throatily, then she stepped right up to Catwoman and stroked her leathery chin.

"We practice polyamory,

pussy

," Harley uttered seductively, sliding her other hand down over her small perky breasts. Making Catwoman purr louder.

"Very well, Miss Kitty," Joker chuckled. "Let's start this carnival sideshow with a bang!"

The clowns slid their huge pistols back into the deep pockets of their tacky costumes. Joker unzipped the front of his pants and whipped out a giant flesh pole.

"Suck my clown cock, pussy."

"Mee-

oww

," Catwoman cooed. She dropped to her knees on the white marble floor in front of the Hope Diamond, and jammed his ridiculously large penis down her throat. Gagging and moaning loudly.

"A-ha-ha-ha-

haaaaa

!" he laughed toward the ceiling. "My life is a fucking circus, and you're my latest freak."

Catwoman laughed with a mouthful, rocking her head back and forth in a steady rhythm.

"Suck that big dick fast and hard, Miss Kitty. Like those Wild West hookers on Gunsmoke."

"Mmm-

hmmm!

" she hummed loudly, picking up the pace. Gagging over and over, with spittle oozing down to her leathery tits. She stroked her leathery clit, groaning with intense perverted pleasure.

Joker's henchmen pulled out their jester jerkers, stroking them nice and slow. Harley Quinn took off her tight leather outfit and fucked herself with three fingers, moaning in harmony with Catwoman.

"Don't make me cum so soon, cat-bitch. Play with my balls, like a

real

pussy."

"Yes sir, Clown Prince. Mee

ooow

!"

She pushed his long dong against his green button-down shirt, and slobbered his sack like Yorkshire pudding.

"Fuck yeah, kitty-twat!" Joker half-laughed, half-growled. He grabbed her pointy leather cat ears and mashed her face against his hairy testicles. "I bet you lick your own cunt when no one's looking. Like Fritz the Cat."

He let her go to town on his sack for another minute, then he grabbed his huge manhood and whipped it all over her incognito feline face.

"Let me suck that dick again!" Catwoman groaned desperately.

"Ah-ah, you naughty pussy. You didn't say the magic word."

"

Please

let me suck that dick again, Mister Joker!"

"Yes ma'am, Miss Kitty. Fucking

eat it

!"

Joker grabbed her head and shoved his penis all the way into her mouth, making her gag and groan loudly. He kept skullfucking that cat burgular viciously, with disgusting ropes of foamy spittle soaking her body. Her leather tail flicked back and forth as she wiggled her ass enthusiastically.

"You're such a nasty girl, Catwoman. I love the way you gag on my villainous prick."

He slapped her leather-coated rump, cackling like an inmate at Arkham Asylum. (Which he recently was, before escaping with help from a demented psychologist named Harleen Quinzel.)

"Fuck that foreplay shit. Pound her fucking pussy!" Bozo urged from the sidelines.

"Good idea, you lousy Ringling Brothers reject," Joker chuckled. He pulled Catwoman up on her feet, and shoved her torso against the pedestal that held the bluish Hope Diamond on a necklace. That three hundred million dollar piece of jewelry fell down on the marble floor, but they were too horny to give a shit.

"Doggy-style for a dirty cat," Joker remarked, spanking her nice and hard. He yanked down her tight pants and smacked her bare ass cheeks five times apiece, making her growl like a feral queen.

"Fuck yeah, I love rough men. Slam your jester up my court!"

"At your service, m'lady."

Joker rammed his rod into Catwoman's tight gymnastic bod. She caterwauled like an alley stray as he kept pounding her pinkhole. Spanking that naughty cat-bitch silly. She took off the rest of her outfit except for her leather mask.

"Oh my god, yes, yes,

yes

! I love your slapstick comedy style!"

"I'm way better than Henny Youngman. Take my wife, please!" Joker remarked. He grabbed her leather ears and yanked her masked face up toward the hole in the roof that she swooped down from.

"Punish her pussy, boss!" Bud cheered, masturbating enthusiastically.

"Yeah, that kitty-bitch fucking deserves it. The joke's on her!" cheered Jackanapes.

Joker smacked her vagina loudly under the bright museum lights, and fucked her harder.

"Ohhhh

yeeeessss

, Mister Joker! You're so much better than Batman!"

"You gotta be bad to be good, baby."

Catwoman climaxed two times, squirting hard against the pedestal and soaking the marble floor. Roaring like a lioness. Meanwhile, Harley flicked her own clit with an adorable smirk frozen on her face. She squeezed her tits as hard as she could while gazing right into Catwoman's hypnotizing eyes. A minute later, she shoved her swollen vagina right against Catwoman's mouth.

"Eat my pussy,

pussy,

" Harley growled. Catwoman gladly obeyed her order, orally pleasuring Joker's freaky girl-toy.

"Oh my god, Catwoman! Fuck, fuck,

fuuuck

! I love your rough tongue."

"I love your sweet snatch, clown girl. Mee

ooow

," Catwoman purred. Joker kept hammering her from behind, spanking her like a naughty schoolgirl in a dunce cap. She spanked Harley's ass with both hands, turning those pale white cheeks a bright shade of crimson. Licking her labia like pink cotton candy at a traveling circus.

"Don't fucking stop, kitty-bitch! Oh shit, this is some awesome lezzie villain action. Stick your cat tongue all the way up my clown pussy!"

Catwoman tongue-fucked Harley Quinn real good, making her squirt right down her throat. Joker made Catwoman squirt yet again with his clown cock. Those evil women groaned in simultaneous orgasmic rapture; stewing in their own juices.

"Break me off a piece of that ass, boss," Jonny Frost beamed from the sidelines.

"Give us

all

some kibble," Gaggy chuckled.

"Time for a henchman hitjob," Bud added.

"Very well, boys," Joker sighed, reluctantly pulling his prick out of Catwoman's pussy. "Put on a good 'benefit gala' for this stupid museum."

He stepped aside, letting five men swoop in for an epic gangbang. Catwoman crouched on a marble bench, raising her ass high in the air and wagging it eagerly. Jonny shoved his dick up her pussy, and gaggy plugged her asshole. There was only one orifice left, the one on her face. Bud quickly filled it with man-meat, muffling her moaning voice. The clown crew gangbanged Catwoman with plenty of pep, with the Hope Diamond glistening nearby on the floor. Like Marie Antoinette's crown jewels after a mob of peasants invaded the royal palace.

"Come on, fellas," Harley beckoned toward the remaining henchmen who masturbated nearby. "Fuck me like the Flying Wallendas."

"Yes ma'am, Miss Quinn," Bozo chuckled. He hoisted Harley's body diagonally up in the air and slid his small penis up her soaking wet pussy. Jackanapes grabbed her slender arms, lowered her face down to his much bigger dick, and skullfucked her from the opposite direction.

"

Be a clown, be a clown . . . all the world loves a clown . . .

" Joker sang sarcastically, with one hand pumping his massive prick. He strutted around the perimeter, observing the wild circus action from every possible angle.

"

Oh would you like to swing on a star / carry moonbeams home in a jar / and be better off than you are, ooh-ooh / or would you rather be a slut

?"

WHACK!

"Oh fuck!" Catwoman shrieked, shuddering with the impact of Joker's ivory cane on her white rump while getting double-penetrated by his henchmen. "Cane my ass

up

, you fucking clown freak!"

"Who ya calling a freak, you kleptomaniac cat-cunt?"

POW! SOCK! THUNK!

"I'm laughing at the clouds so dark up above / the sun's in my heart, and I'm ready for love!"

THWACK! WHAMM! ZAMM!

He pranced over to Harley Quinn and caned her ass just as hard.

PAM! POWIE! VRONK!

"I walk down the lane, with a happy refrain / just singin', singin' in the rain!"

He loved the way her ass cheeks jiggled with every blow, while getting pounded upward by his henchmen. A lesser man would have busted his nuts five minutes ago, but Joker was a master of suspense. Great comedic timing.

"Back off boys," he growled. "I'm fucking both these bitches at once."

"Whatever, you crazy ringmaster," Bozo grunted. The henchmen stepped away from the villainesses, and Joker leaped in theatrically, like the court fool of King Lear.