Adventures of Hollywood Jim

Hi, everyone remember me? I know it's been a long time since i've posted anything new here. Between relocations, COVID, Writers Block and more COVID, I've been through the wringer to say the least! But Hollywood Jim is back with more stories to tell. Cannot thank you enough for your patience and kind emails. ENJOY!

Hollywood Jim

When I left Artists Unlimited to join the Morrison Group, AU seemed to go downhill overnight and when I returned there out of curiosity, the place was a ghost town. And Brian Murphy, my old boss, seemed like the only employee remaining. But he was sure the company could be saved and returned to its former glory, IF I returned. Instead, I sold him and Jackie Morrison on the idea of her buying up AU and merging it into her company. And it was paying off big for everyone involved. Many of the agents that had worked for AU immediately returned, old contacts came by to pitch new projects, and I got a sizable check handed to me at the Christmas party by Jackie.

Brian, on the other hand, had a much different way of thanking me for saving his Dad's company.

"How much vacation time you got saved up?" he asked as we sat in the steam room at Malibu Fitness one Saturday.

"Probably too much, why?"

That part was true, my work was too unpredictable to really plan out time away. I still had the mindset that believed paid days off were to be used for medical appointments. Not for frivolous things like beach getaways with the starlet du jour. So usually around the end of the year, I'd get a memo from HR that I'd better use my vacation days, NOW.

"You know how I'm a big Formula One fan?"

"Right."

"OK, how'd you like to go to a race with me, we can have a big drunken weekend, maybe chase some exotic ladies on yachts..."

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Yachts? Where is this race?"

"Monaco. Y'know, first race of the season."

"MONACO?" I said stunned "Are you serious?"

"Absolutely! It's the least I could do." He said casually "I owe you this, pal. You saved a company, not many people have that honor. I'm certainly not gonna drag you out to, like, Abu Dhabi."

Brian explained how he was calling in favors from some film producers in Europe who'd benefitted from his company's work for them. Not only did we have first class travel and accommodations there, but VIP tickets to several parties as well as a Dua Lipa concert on race eve.

I only had one question for him.

"Does meeting Prince Albert come with the trip?"

"Sure, I keep him in a can." He replied without missing a comedic beat. He obviously knew the old joke well.

I slept for much of the flight over there. When I was awakened by Brian, I was greeted by the Mediterranean sun and the Cote d'Azur airport.

"Whoa..." I said through bleary eyes.

"Pretty sweet, huh?" Brian said casually as he grabbed his duffel bag. He was the experienced traveler in places like this "I don't know about you, but this beats Vegas any day."

"That's because you've never been there." I replied as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and grabbed my own bag.

An hour later, we were in the lap of luxury in Monaco, staying at the Hotel de Paris. Brian said he wanted to do a little gambling in the casino and we'd meet for dinner later.

"We might have a couple of extra guests joining us."

"Oh, yeah? Like who?"

"You'll see, Hollywood." He said with a smile and a sly chuckle.

I'd seen smiles like that before, they always meant something big was cooking up. I just never knew if it was good or bad.

The hotel was loaded with jet-setters and a constant stream of limos were pulling up to the entrance. It was hard not to look like a gawking tourist as I watched. The hotel was situated along a prime part of the race course so there was catch fencing along the route, doing a race course walk like the drivers did, wasn't likely. That's OK, there's always the casino!

I'm not the best gambler but I always got a charge out of watching the action, and in this case, watching Brian try to be cool with dice in his hand was fascinating.

"Want me to blow on your dice?" I said with a snicker.

"Don't jinx me, I'm on a roll, Hollywood!"

The dice flew out of his hand and those gathered around the craps table let out a cheer, Brian was acting like Mr. Cool even when a pile of chips was pushed his way.

"OK, one more time, baby!" he said gleefully as the dice flew out of his hand again.

"Eleven...winner." The croupier said casually in a French accented voice.

Another pile of chips came his way.

"Uh, OK, Mr. Monaco...maybe it's time to quit while you're ahead?" I didn't want to see that pile of chips disappear.

"No way, baby! I'm on a roll! I'm on a roll!" Brian replied as he jostled the dice around in his hand

"OK, whatever you say."

As I walked away from the table, I heard another big cheer, followed by Brian's excited yells. This was a side of him I'd never seen. I wandered the casino a little more until I saw a blackjack table with no players.

"Aww, what the hell..." I mumbled as I sat down at the table.

Now, all I knew about Blackjack was what I'd seen in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. And the game he played was just called "21". So, I figured if Bugs could win, maybe I could too?

Sure enough, after a couple of hands I was doing OK. I didn't even notice who sat down beside me.

"How're you doing?" a British accented woman asked.

"Uh, I guess OK. I don't think I'm gonna play much longer, I'm not a pro or anything."

"That's probably good, I don't play either...I just like to watch."

"Don't we all?" I said with a shrug "Uh, I'm Jim..."

Before she could respond, a burly man came over "We've gotta get going, they're expecting you at the sound check." He said in a deep voice with a similar accent.

"OK." She replied "Good luck to you...maybe I'll see you at the show." She said as she was hustled away.

"Uh, yes...maybe."

See you at the show? I wonder what that could mean, I never did get her name. I turned around to see if I could get a glimpse of this mystery woman but no luck.

At almost that same moment, my luck ran out at the table, too. That was fine with me, I still had a nice little pile of chips that gelt good as they clicked together in my hand. Enough to get me a good dinner. Just at that moment, Brian came by with an ear-to-ear grin.

"I'm buying you dinner, man...Hell, I'm buying the whole country dinner!" he said in a giggly voice.

"How much did you win?"

"Enough, more than enough. I don't want to brag, though...do you suppose they've got flights to Switzerland here?"

"Brian, calm down. You did well, let's not forget why we're here, OK?"

"Right, right, right." He said in that same giggly voice "I really won big, man...I really won big!"

I just stared at him as we walked out of the casino.

"Speed kills, Brian." I said calmly, trying to defuse him just a little.

Just as he promised, Brian sprang for a dinner that seemed to go on forever. Believe me, I was stuffed when we finally got out of there and limped back to our rooms.

The next day was the eve of the race and Brian took me on a tour of the course, graciously provided by one of his contacts. In the harbor were numerous yachts of different sizes.

"Who has all those yachts?" I asked our tour guide.

"Numerous potentates from around the world, hedge fund millionaires, Arab sheiks, internet influencers, you name it. I hear Lady Gaga and Dua Lipa are out there too somewhere."

My binoculars immediately scanned the harbor hoping to catch a glimpse of pop royalty, no luck. But the number of topless sunbathers I DID spot made up for it.

As part of the pre-race festivities, Dua Lipa would be doing a concert in the Grande Concert Hall of the hotel and Brian's contacts generously arranged VIP seats for us as well as an invite to another pre-race party nearby.

"Told you this would be a helluva weekend, didn't I?" he bragged

"Yes, you definitely keep your promises."

We clinked our champagne glasses together.

Dua Lipa's show was a high energy techno-fest of lights and sound and plenty of views of her legs. She wore this ultra-tight one-piece navy bodysuit that was cut for maximum provocation and from the first song "Hallucinate" she had us all under her spell. The black patent leather boots that stretched up to her knees only added to this image of a coolly elegant dominatrix.

After the show, Brian and I were whisked off to this post-show party and he knew everybody there. They were a mix of film people and European studio bosses that probably had a yacht or two docked out in the harbor.

"Ah! Here comes the guest of honor, 'Hollywood'." Brian said with pride as he turned me to the entrance.

In walked Dua Lipa, who'd changed into a bright white double-breasted suit, albeit with no shirt underneath. She was led by a cotillion of handlers who probably doubled as bodyguards. She was led onto a stage where the party's organizer made a quick speech in French. She blushed and smiled, then said a few words in French to the accompaniment of numerous flashbulbs.

"You have any idea what she said?" I asked Brian.

"You forget you're talking to a guy who only took French in school to impress a girl."

"Did it work?"

Brian's stare told me it didn't.

"Right. I'm gonna get another drink."

Just after I got a refill of my champagne, Brian was on his way over with the party's organizer.

"Jim! You gotta meet this guy, he's a bigshot in the Euro film market. Meet Dino Lorenzo."

"Ahhh! So thees is the famous Mister Hollywood?" he said in a heavy Italian accent.

"Uh, yes..." I replied as I shook his hand and gave Brian a glare that spoke volumes "I've been called many things."

"So, have I!" Dino replied as he took my arm "I want you to meet a good friend of mine. I've known her since she was 17."

"You're gonna love this, Jim!" Brian yelled behind me.

Dino led me to another group of people who appeared to be surrounding someone else.

"Dua, darling..." he said

The group parted and there was Dua Lipa, as coolly elegant as before with a glass of champagne.

"Darling, this is Jim. He's here with Brian from Morrison Group."

"Hey! I remember you. You were playing blackjack in the casino yesterday." She said with a broad smile and a super sexy British accent.

"Oh! That was you? Wow!"

"You've met before?" Dino asked.

"Yeah, when I got here yesterday, I walked through the casino and he was playing blackjack, how'd you do?"

"Oh, uh, broke even. Enough to get a good dinner."

"Oh! Maybe I was your good luck charm." She said with a little giggle.

"Maybe." I replied with a smile.

"So, are you planning to celebrate your good fortune?"

"Hadn't given it much thought."

"Good! Join me tomorrow."

"For what?"

Dino jumped in "We're having a little watch party on my yacht, you should come."

Before I could reply, Brian jumped in "We'll be there!" he said excitedly.

On race day, we boarded Dino's huge yacht docked in the harbor, we had a prime viewing spot, as expected. We were immediately handed glasses of champagne and as we went to our spots who was I sitting next to, but Dua Lipa.

"Hi! Good to see you!" she said with a sweet kiss on my cheek. I could smell a beautifully soft perfume on her and she was dressed just as perfectly too in a bright red Ferrari team shirt and matching slacks that hugged her curves. She could tell it got my attention.

"Dino gave it to me, so I had no choice." She said with a laugh.

"Well, hey, red looks good on you."

"Awwww.... Thank you, sweetie!" she said as she adjusted her Ray-Ban sunglasses. I did the same with mine.

As the clock counted down and the cars were in position, I was super-excited. I'd only seen Formula One starts on TV. Being there was something else! The instantaneous explosion of sound and power was incredible. Dua grabbed my arm and was just as excited as me watching the sleek machines fly by.

"Oh my god, this is incredible!" she yelled over the roar of the cars.

"Just a day at the office for them!" I yelled back, making her laugh all the more.

Dino's yacht was outfitted with big screen TV's throughout so guests would go in and out of the cabins and still watch the race either outside or on the TV's. As the race went on, I could feel Dua standing ever closer to me.

"Have you always been a racing fan?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah! But where I grew up there weren't any tracks, so my TV was as close as I got. Plus, y'know how boys love their toy cars that was part of it too."

"Ah, I get it. Like us little girls with our Barbie's, right?"

"That's about right." I replied with a chuckle.

Just then there was a huge roar from the crowd.

"Oh! It's the last lap, I wonder who's leading?" I said as I looked at one of the TV monitors "Alright! Lewis Hamilton, he's from your country."

"Oh yeah, I know him!" Dua said excitedly "I met him last month!"

With a final roar, we saw his car cross the finish line.

"Looks like your wearing Ferrari colors might not have been too lucky today."

"Yeah, but at least I looked good." Dua replied effortlessly.

"Right, it's always better to look good than to feel good."

We both laughed at that.

"C'mon, let's get another champagne before they run out." Dua said as she gently took my hand.

With replenished glasses in hand, we strolled up to the top deck where Dino was holding court.

"Ah! Dua, darling!" he said with typical Italian flourish "Have you been enjoying yourself?"

"Sure, Jim's been telling me all his racing stories."

I was?

"Wonderful! You'll have to join me for dinner tonight. There's much business to discuss."

"Oh, well, uh, then you should be talking to my partner...wherever he is." I said as I looked around desperately hoping Brian would magically appear. Luckily, he did, emerging from below with 2 swimsuit clad starlets on either arm.

"Brian! Just in time!" I said as I grabbed an arm "Dino needs to talk business, and that's your department."

"So it is, Mister Hollywood." He replied with a chuckle as he pointed to his companions "You need to meet Renee' and Desiree...or is it Desiree and Renee'...I can never keep you two straight." He said before dissolving into a sustained cackle that was, well, embarrassing to see.

It was obvious he'd been enjoying the free champagne.

"Oh, brother..." I muttered to myself; I'd dealt with drunks before at events like this.

"James, my friend...don't concern yourself. I learned long ago to never make deals over champagne." Dino said casually "You celebrate the deal with champagne, Brian, I will call you in the morning. James, I'll see you tonight."

And with that, the great producer turned to his other companions and began to talk in animated rapid-fire Italian.

All this time, Dua had been on my arm, listening intently.

"Is Brian your boss?"

"Him? Yeah, you could say that. I worked for him and now he's a co-worker...trust me, it's a long story."

"Tell me over dinner, then."

"Right, Dino invited me-"

"No, no...just you and me." She said a little more slowly in that cool British tone of voice.

"Well, uh, how could I say no?"

Dua responded with that beautiful smile of hers.

That night, I was back at the Grand Casino in their private dining room. I luckily had enough time to get a suit off the rack at a clothing store near the hotel, the kind that doesn't display price tags. I figured I could bill it to my employer, it would be a first for me.

I was checking myself in a huge floor length mirror, unsure if this suit was really the one I should've picked when behind me I heard;

"Good evening, James."

I looked in the mirror and behind me saw Dua entering the room.

She wore a glittery black jacket with matching pants, it was a variation on the outfit she'd worm the previous evening.

"What do you think?" she asked with a small turn added.

"Just a little something you threw on?"

"Ehhh, something like that." She giggled

"Okay...shall we go to dinner, my dear? I said as I offered her my arm.

"Yes, let's." she replied in that cool voice of hers.

We were led to an elegant upstairs dining area far away from the other patrons. The maitre'd elegantly swung open the double doors and the Monaco Riviera was before us. Dino had arranged it so we'd eat on an elegant balcony that overlooked the bay. Above us was a sky with what seemed like a billion stars. Dua spoke in fluent French to the waiter as we were seated.

"Oh my...I really feel out of place here." I wasn't kidding. I didn't see any other diners here and it appeared as if the waiters were for our service only.

"Oh, don't be, sweetie." Dua replied "Think of it as a little perk you got from a friend."

"And that friend is...?"

"Me!" she replied with a laugh that was contagious.

"Of course, how silly of me!"

The waiter returned with a bottle of white wine. It was just like in a movie as he popped the cork, poured a small amount into a glass and gave it to me for inspection. I tried to look refined as I swirled it around in its glass and took a small sniff of it. Not knowing what to do next. I looked at him and nodded.

"Uh, yes this will do."

"So, you're a wine connoisseur as well as a racing connoisseur, James?"

"To be honest, I was trying to copy what I've seen in old movies."

"If it was me, I'd do the same thing."

I took a sip of the wine, and to my relief, found my little ruse had worked.

"Hey, this is pretty good. I must be a better wine expert than I thought I was.

"Mmmmm, you're right." Dua replied.

"Now if we were back in America, I could probably show you some refined beers."

"Oooooh, that sounds like fun!" she said with a big smile "Oh, I already ordered dinner for both of us, hope you don't mind."

"No, that's great, I've got a feeling the menu would take me a month to translate."

A few minutes later, a tray was rolled over with matching filet mignon's and all the assorted trimmings for us. I truly felt like a VIP.

"Whoa, I'm a long way from the all you can eat buffets back home."

"Enjoy it, Jim. From what I've heard, you deserve it." She replied as she raised her wine glass and it gently clinked with mine.

After a truly decadent dinner, we were stuffed to the gills.

"I hope those pants have elastic waistbands." I said to her.

"I do too! I probably should've worn sweatpants."

"Um, h-how far away is your hotel, maybe we could walk our dinner off?"

"I'm staying on Dino's yacht, it's not far...And a walk sounds lovely."

We both smiled at one another and headed for a walking path that went along the bay. Dua had her arm gently wrapped around mine as we took in the evening air from Monaco bay and the sounds from various parties on the yachts.

"It's so wild how everything's gone for me. I mean, like a year ago I could've never dreamed I'd be here." She said softly.

"I know what you mean. I still see myself as this kid from Connecticut who helped out a friend long ago."

"That's how you started?"

"Uh-huh, it's a long story but I came out to California to help him in his business and somehow hitched a ride on a rocket ship. Before I knew it, I was on warp factor five."

"That sounds like me!" she replied with a laugh.

"Well, hopefully neither of us will crash and burn."

"I couldn't agree more." She said as we arrived at the spot where Dino's yacht was moored "Um, why don't you come inside, have one more drink?"

"Uh, sure, that sounds nice."

The atmosphere on the yacht was much different now, no partygoers and largely silent throughout. I had to wonder if even Dino was onboard, after all he was the owner. Or at least that's what I was led to believe!

"I don't hear any commotion in Italian, is Dino even here?" I asked

"I don't hear anything either, I think he said something about a late dinner with investors."