I'm in the downstairs section of my office behind the front desk, the next day when I overhear a conversation between the young feisty Alice and a male customer, middle-aged by the sound of him, and clearly not hip, savvy or sexually free at all; in the shop portion of the storefront.
"I'm looking for a dirty movie for my daughter, for her 18th birthday. The triple-ecks porn version of Schindler's List?"
The way this customer, spiked and pronounced the letter x... he didn't stand a chance.
"Have you got it?" He asked.
"Oh yeah," says Alice. "Course we've got it."
Now, I know for a fact our parody section is vey small. It has to be that way as there's just not a strong enough market for it on DVD sales. When people want to see superwoman getting fucked by Batman, they look it up online. The porn parody movies will be some of the first to fall to the influence of PornHub. I also know that I need porn parody movies to prove themselves through positive reviews before I'll buy them to stock them on my shelves. I mean, I still have a copy of Fatal Pursuit in the shelves I got the week I opened the store. It's got a 20c sticker on it and I can't manage to get rid of it. The reviews to the Schindler's List parody, Schindler's Lust, sucked major donkey dick. What's she playing at?
I go through my door to the store to see what's going on. Alice is still there, smiling st him; the guy looks a bit flustered.
"Could I have it then?" He half smiles with relief, as if he were a little boy who remembered to say 'please' at the very last moment.
"No, I'm sorry, but you can't."
The customer, slightly older than I first thought, is wearing a brown checked jacket with mahogany pants and light brown Oxford shoes with a floral brogue, she stands rooted to the spot. I didn't want to come into this place of perversion in the first place, you can hear him thinking, and now I'm being messed about?
"Why not?"
"Sorry?" Alice appears to have lost her focus to something on her computer screen.
"Why not?"
"Because it's a fucked up movie showing women tortured and sawed in half by Nazis and ape people, and an American soldier defeated by the SS! Do we look like the kind of store that sells that fucking glorifying the Nazis and torturing and murdering women sort of shit?! Fuck off, don't waste our time."
The old guy turns and walks out, and Alice giggles to herself.
"Alice, what have I told you about turning customers away? Always offer them something else." I walk down to stand alongside her. "Even if they've already bought something; digital, physical or personal, always upsell!"
"We didn't have what he wanted, I was just having some fun, and upsell? The man has clearly never paid for pussy or porn before in his life. I don't think I really cost you anything."
"That's not the point."
"Oh, so what is the point then?"
"The point is you upsell using every way you can. Make him think of you on his way out the door and all his drive home. Make him want to return to buy something else."
"You think a stupid old digger like that is going to be a twice a week regular?!"
"No, but... listen Alice, the shop isn't doing so well. I know we take the piss out of these old frigid losers, but it's got to stop the moment we leave the commonroom."
"Master... if we had the movie, I'd have sold it to him and you'd have been twenty cents better off. And you'd have never seen him again. Big deal. If he'd been hiding an erection I'd have gotten him to stick it in me and we'd both be a few bucks better off, and I'd happily be his weekly oral, anal or pussy; but as it was, that customer wasn't going to get us anything!"
I had to admit, she's got a point, but there's still a principle involved here.
"What harm has he ever done you?"
"You know what harm he's done me and girls like me, Master. He's offended me with his terrible taste, fantasies and fetishes."
"It wasn't even for his terrible taste. It was his daughter's."
"You're going soft Master. From what my sisters have told me of you, you'd be the guy chasing him out of the store and up the road!"
Again, she has a point, I just can't muster that kind of anger anymore.
Suddenly Alice's sexy maid dress is around her ankles revealing she's got nothing at all on underneath. She rests her whole body against me seductively. "Want me to help make you less soft, Master."
I looked down at Alice's small perfect body and beautiful smiling face and suddenly realised that I did. Now that's how you upsell.
That's how it came to be that I did a shift behind the cash register in the store, while Alice was on her knees sucking me off. Briefly, she bent over and I stuck it up her ass (with her height being an issue the additional in if height her ass had in this position when compared to her pussy was of great assistance), but soon enough she had me back in her mouth and sucking away with a smile and enthusiasm like she's been given the tastiest lollipop in the world, and everyone she knew had to watch her in envy as she slurped it down.
I brace my hands slightly on the counter as I feel myself inching closer to cumming. Suddenly her mouth is no longer on me and I look down to see her smiling up at me while she jacks me off.
"Would sir prefer to cum on my face, mouth or tits?"
"Mouth."
"Can I upgrade you from a spit to a swallow?"
"Definitely!"