If I Die 2nite

I sat on the airplane as other passengers disembarked, my heart both heavy and jubilant at the same time. I had had a bad feeling ever since Pac came here with Suge and it had gotten progressively worse, twisting my guts into knots with each passing night. So I had gone to the house, seeking out the incredible wisdom of Afeni and was welcomed as usual. You see, I had grown up with Sekyiwa and Tupac in the rough streets of Baltimore and she had become my mother as well as everyone else's on the street so I greatly valued and appreciated anything she had to say.

Afeni was fixing a cup of herbal tea when I knocked and welcomed me into the house. "What's wrong, 'Nica?"

"I'm worried, Mama." I couldn't help the tears that pricked my eyes and I think Afeni noticed. "I'm worried about Pac."

Afeni didn't speak for a moment, instead directing her energy toward stirring her tea. "I am worried about him, too."

"Have you talked to him?"

"Earlier."

"How did he sound?"

"He sounded fine."

"Is he with Suge?" Afeni didn't answer right away and I had my answer, an answer that made my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. "Mama ... "

"I know, Shanica, but there's nothing I can do. Tupac is a grown man and he has to follow his destiny."

"Is that all you have to say? That Pac has to follow his destiny? Do you really care about Tupac?" Afeni slammed her mug down on the table, glaring at me. "I'm sorry, Mama, but I just can't sit here. I have to do something."

"Then go to Vegas."

"I can't afford it."

"I'll send you. Just give me a call and let me know what's going on."

"I can't let you do that." Though the words split my lips, inside I was turning cartwheels. "Going to Vegas costs a lot of money."

"Shanica, Tupac would want you to be there. He needs all the friends around him that he can get."

I nodded, knowing what she was saying. I didn't tell her that I was secretly scared of Suge and that I wouldn't be able to reach Tupac. I left her house with a pocketful of money and headed home to pack. The flight left eight hours later and here I was, waiting to touch the soil of Las Vegas. When I finally disembarked, I was surprised to find that my luggage was not on the carousel.

"What the fuck?" I walked over to the Delta counter, ready to pitch a fit when the overly happy clerk gave me a huge smile.

"Are you Ms. Davis?"

"Yes."

"Follow me."

Still fuming, I let the woman lead me to a limousine that was waiting on the tarmac. A big, burly black man was waiting and he opened the door when I arrived.

"What's up!" I couldn't do anything but giggle as Tupac's smiling face greeted me, a cloud of pot smoke wafting out around him. "Get in, girl! You lettin' the smoke out!"

I spent more time in Tupac's arms than I should have but I was so comforted by his mixed scent of marijuana and Halston Z-14, that I held him close. I felt him respond like the old friend he was at first, then he started patting me like a stray dog, embarrassed by the emotion that we were showing. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I had to find out from Sekyiwa."

"I just wanted to surprise you. Is that a crime?"

"No, baby. Just really glad to see you." He handed me a joint and introduced me to the crew he was riding with. Most of them were gang members but I ignored that. Years of living in the hood had taught me to do that and I gave them proper acknowledgement without letting them paint me into the ho corner. The music was too loud to have a conversation with them and I wasn't really interested any way so I turned my attention to Pac.

"How have you been?"

"Fine. Just living the thug life." His words brought a shout from the other men and someone shoved a beer in my hand. "Enjoying my life, 'Nica."

"Pac, I'm scared for you."

His soulful brown eyes bore into mine, a smile on his face that faded slightly. "Why you scared, 'Nica? I ain't."

"But you should be." The limousine rolled into the hotel's parking area, slowing to a halt. "Pac, don't go to the fight tonight."

"Are you crazy? I ain't gonna miss Tyson for nothing."

"Not even your life?" I leaned in close, touching my lips to Tupac's. His tongue immediately swooped into my mouth and we were suddenly madly groping in the back seat, in clear view of his homies. "Come upstairs with me. Let's fuck our brains out, order room service and watch the fight on TV."

In the blink of an eye, I saw the Tupac I'd known all my life and the innocent beauty of his soul wrapped around me much as his tongue did. "'Kay, 'Nica. I'll stay."