There is no sex in this story.
There are multiple references to many great novels, comic book heroes/villains, TV shows, and movies in this story. The creators of whom all deserve my thanks for the entertainment that they have provided to me. I do not own any rights to the characters mentioned nor did the owners collaborate with me in the creation of this story. There are many, Many, MANY others that deserve recognition for the creative stimulus that has permeated my being like a drug. Unfortunately, I couldn't incorporate all of them here.
Enjoy the story.
******************************************************
HERO TALK,
A story by R.C.PeterGabriel. All rights reserved.
"Welcome to our show everyone. This is Hero Talk and I'm your host, Slarti Blartfast. If you're just tuning in, we're at the end of what we call our Min-MIN week. Usually, we try to get to know the Super Heroes with the most news time, like Mr. Furious, The Blue Raja, and Baby Bowler, all of whom have MINs well over 1100. However, we do realize that being a hero doesn't require MINs at all, as we like to say, 'You too, can be a hero'!" (The audience yelled out the phrase along with the host.)
"This week, all of our guests are on the lower range of the MIN scale, far below the 500 mark. So low in fact, they rarely make it into any publication other than the weekly shopper's news.
"Of course, everyone knows that the MIN scale refers to the Mutant Identity Numeration that all mutants, technos, and arcanists use for street creds and sponsorship deals.
"Our next guest doesn't have any sponsors at the moment but is still responsible for saving twenty-two lives during the Big Boomer Bombing of 2019."
Most of Slarti's head went off camera as the videographer failed to anticipate the host rising to his feet like he'd done every other time he'd introduced a guest, but in his rush to correct his mistake, he re-centered the image, zoomed out, and pressed the applause button before his boss could finish his introduction, causing the audience to start clapping too soon.
"Let's all give a warm welcome to ... sigh ... 'Light Show,'" stated the annoyed host, just before he called "Cut!" and restarted from the beginning.
The second time the timing was much better and lacked the panning errors. Soon afterward, a very shy, boy of sixteen hesitantly walked from behind a curtain, dressed in torn jeans, a 'St Canard High School Knowledge Bowl' tee shirt, and dark wraparound sunglasses. Even with the glasses, it was obvious there was some kind of light source behind them. His blond hair was somewhat choppy as if he'd cut it himself ... or had his mother do it for him. His deeply dimpled chin hinted at the possibility of harem gathering good looks when he finally reached manhood. But, his physique would take some major effort to paste on enough muscle to push him up to anything near the one-hundred-fifty-pound mark. He did manage not to face plant when stepping up onto the center stage even though he tripped slightly. The stage contained the host, his desk, and the couch he'd use for the interview. After shaking hands, both parties sat.
"So, Light Show, I have to say that you don't really look like a superhero, especially one named Light Show. Can you tell us how you got your name?"
"Um, yes, well, uh, I'm sure you know that kids can be cruel. And, uh, my freshman year ..."
"So, you were fifteen at the time, as this is your sophomore year if I'm not mistaken," interrupted Slarti.
"Um, yes. At the beginning of last year, I, uh, was told to take a note to the bio-chem teacher, Dr. Isley."
Slarti interrupted again. "Just so those of you at home are aware, Dr. Isley was forced to resign from her teaching post at St. Canard due to this incident. She moved to Seattle, before taking a job in Gotham City. You may have heard of her. She's actually one of the few supervillains we've had on the show, and holds a MIN of negative 20,245! Can anyone guess her mutant name?"
"Poison Ivy," mumbled Light Show before giving the audience much of a chance.
"Yes, Poison Ivy! So, you've had a run-in with a very infamous person for someone your age. Anyway, what happened your freshman year that brought you here today?"
"Well, um, I brought the note to the bio-chem lab, where Dr. Isley ..."
"Poison Ivy," corrected Slarti.
"Uh ... Poison Ivy, um, but she hadn't been mutated yet. Anyway, she had been trying to combine dinoflagellates, with starfish stem cells, and ..."
"Sorry, Light show, what are dinoflagellates? You don't mean dinosaur farts do you?" The audience chuckled at the question.
"No. Uh, they're, uh, bioluminescent single-celled eukaryotes, usually considered marine algae, but are found in freshwater as well. Anyway, just as I had gotten halfway across the room, a shoving match started between two other students. Well during the scuffle, one of them threw the beaker containing the combined cells. It hit me in the face. Well, on the forehead." Light Show, paused to point to the jagged scar above his left eyebrow, before continuing. "Uh, where it broke and most of the viscus goo ran into my eyes."
"And this blinded you instantly if I'm not mistaken," interjected Slarti.
"Um, yes. But my eyes somehow changed and now I can see perfectly well if I'm not using my blinders as I call them. My eyes now give off light of their own. Because of that, I can't go anywhere without dark sunglasses or I have a tendency to night blind people when I look at them. Of course, everyone started calling me Light Show after that."
"Can you actually blind someone?"
"No, um, well, I've never actually tried, of course. I doubt it though. While my eyes' luminescence has been measured at ten-thousand lumens but only at the equivalence of seven watts, and even though the light seems to be a bluish-white, they don't reach into the ultraviolet spectrum. Most people don't realize it, but visible light is rarely able to cause blindness. It's the ultraviolet spectrum that causes most of the damage."
"Ok, so you have been recognized by the Mutant Registration Board as having a legitimate mutation as opposed to being considered a tecnomorph or practitioner of mystic arts. And you've been credited with twenty-two documented saves, why do you think your original MIN score was only 6? That seems rather low doesn't it?"
"Well, I guess, but it was raised to 9 after the rescue story was published in our school paper."
"Why do you think the syndicated news channels failed to pick up the story? You'd think it would have, at least locally anyway."
"Well, um, I'm only guessing but the day the article came out in our school paper was the day that General Sarris attacked trying to acquire the Omega 13. Before that the whole story of Big Boomer's bombing of the Capital City interchange was centered on him and how 'The Spleen' had accidentally set off all of Big Boomer's remaining munitions. It was two days before it was proved that Big Boomer had died in the explosion. It was almost a week before all of the speculations died down."
"So how did you find yourself involved in that interchange explosion, to begin with, if you're from St Canard?" Mr. Blartfast asked.
"My classmates and I had been on a field trip. We came into town and were supposed to go to the Guggenheim Museum, but Big Boomer had other ideas. Thankfully, his demolitions were staggered and the section of road we were on dropped out from under our bus just before the overpasses would have pulverized us. I'm not sure how far down we were but luckily no one was hurt beyond one broken arm and a lot of bruises. Of course, a few of the girls started crying and then started to panic, so I took off my glasses, giving us plenty of light to see what the score was. We had come to rest completely sealed in except for our rear exit. Unfortunately, it was partially blocked by a huge piece of concrete.
