CASTAWAY
âCome sit my friends and hear a tale, a tale of a fateful tripââŚ, but I think you get the message by now. Yup, S. S. Minnow her crew and passengers set sail that day for a three hour trip.
Of course you remember the list of characters. âThe mate was a mighty sailing man.â Gilligan was so skinny he had to stand sideways twice to cast a shadow. âThe skipper brave and true.â Skipper was a large man and without much muscle definition. âA millionaire and his wife.â Mr. and Mrs. Thurston Howell III and they certainly were a charming couple. âA movie star.â Miss Ginger Rogers, tall and slim and very sexy looking. âThe professor and Maryanne.â Professor Roy Hinckley, Rhodes Scholar and holder of numerous university diplomas. Scientist, astronomer, archeologist and generally a very smart fellow. Miss Maryanne fresh from the wheat fields of Kansas, so innocent and lovely not to mention extremely well put together physically.
There you have it, the refresher course of the cast. By now youâre asking yourself why do I go through all the trouble of stating what anyone whoâs seen the program knows? The answer is really very simple. We watched each week as situations and disasters befell our castaways, but did you ever think of what wasnât shown on TV? I canât tell you how much I had often lusted for Ginger and Maryanne every week. As I grew older and watched the re-runs even Mrs. Howell took on a very nice flavor of the âolderâ woman.
But youâre still puzzled or thinking Iâm off the deep end and itâs time to quit reading and find something more interesting. Do that if you must but youâll miss knowing what really happened on that island. You see I have a friend in Hollywood. He worked on the original TV show and managed to save certain cans of film not meant for public viewing. Of course I canât tell you his name but he managed, over the years, to take those episodes we never saw and burn them onto DVDâs. I was fortunate enough to have him give me these disks but sadly it was on his death bed. I gave him my sworn vow to never allow anybody to see them, but I didnât promise not to tell some of the stories. Now you know why I spent so much time writing the obvious. (Authors note: If you believe any of the above paragraph then you need to either find another more believable story or get your head shrunk. While Iâm thinking of it donât ask about how they managed to find all the clothes they wore. Hey, itâs make believe donât you know.) Now if you are ready I shall begin and hope you enjoy.
âGilligan did you make sure all the stores are onboard and stowed away?â If nothing the Skipper was meticulous and neat.
âYes, Sir. We have lots of canned goodies but why do we need them if weâre only going to be gone three hours?â Gilligan wasnât what you could call the brightest of deck hands but he was extremely likable if a bit klutzy. Accidents, it seemed, were made just for him.
âYou never know what will come up on the ocean. Iâve been sailing these seas for years and canât tell you how many times Iâve seen storms suddenly come from nowhere.â
âWhy canât you tell me Skipper? Why? Is it some secret youâve been sworn to keep?â
âOh Gilligan stop horsing around and make sure weâre ready to sail. The passengers will be coming on soon and theyâve paid lots of money. So donât do anything stupid like forgetting to let go the moorings when I tell you.â
It wasnât long before five nicely dressed people strode up the gangway and boarded the tiny ship. The Skipper met each of them shaking hands with the two men and doffing his captainâs hat to the three ladies. Making sure all were comfortably situated in the main salon he barked his orders.
âGilligan cast off and make ready for sea.â The Skipper had always dreamed of being a ships captain but couldnât seem to get over being sea sick. He sighed at his lot in life gently pushing the throttles of the twin engines ahead.
Having cleared the mooring area he invited the guests above deck. They looked about as the Skipper expertly guided his tiny ship through the harbor and beyond the breakwater reef. Clear of the smooth safe waters of the harbor the gentle swell of the almost open ocean began to rock the tiny ship in a very soothing manner.
âSkipper have you looked at the sky lately?â Gilligan poked his head up from the engine room hatch, looked around before speaking. He saw the Skipper talking to the movie star.
âYes Gilligan Iâve been keeping a close watch on all the hills and valleys of the ocean.â He didnât turn to face his little buddy but kept his eyes mostly glued to the firm cleavage of Gingers bust.
âOh, well OK I guess, but in case you were wondering the sky is starting to look real black behind us.â
âYes little buddy I see the black clouds and itâs nothing for you to worry about. Now why donât you just go back down andâŚâ The Skipper glanced behind them and gasped. âGilligan get everybody below decks and make ready for heavy seas. Then get your skinny butt back up here and help me with the wheel.â
The passengers were safely inside the lower cabin as the mate joined his captain. It wasnât looking very good. âThe weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew the Minnow would be lost.â
Black clouds filled the sky as the wind rose. The calm ocean surged and swelled, waves broke over the bow sending cascades of green water across the deck. Rain fell from the skies soaking the crew as they valiantly fought for control over the spinning wheel, but alas all was to no avail. Lightning flashed, thunder roiled booming across the waters until at long last all was silent, smooth and still.
âNow the ship lay aground on the shore of this deserted isle, with Gilligan, the Skipper too, the millionaire and his wife, the movie star, the professor and Maryanne, here on Gilliganâs Isle.â
Deep blue sky, the sun shining down and smiling as the birds chirped and sang in the trees. Water gently lapped the sandy shore as the gentle breeze wafted over the beach. It was truly a beautiful sight to behold with only one glaring exception. Beached in the sand was a tiny ship with several rather large holes in its hull. Further up from the waters edge lay seven bodies all of them still very damp in their clothing. The first to move was the ugly skinny man as he lifted his head and reset his upside down Dixie cup hat on his head. He looked around with wide eyes.
âSkipper, Skipper I think weâve died and gone to heaven.â
âWhaâŚ, whatâs that you say little buddy?â
âLook, weâre on land and itâs nice and warm and not moving.â
âYeah I see what you mean.â The Skipper looked around and saw a lovely paradise, then he saw his passengers. âCome on Gilligan and help me with these folks. Weâve got to make sure none of them is hurt. Oh I wish I had taken out that insurance policy before we sailed. Now Iâm going to be sued.â
Skipper stood on unsteady feet for a moment before moving. Digging into his mind he recalled her name, Ginger, as he approached her laying face down. Fear gripped his large round body as he knelt and gently rolled her onto her back. He saw that she was breathing and wow was she breathing. In spite of all that happened a few hours before he couldnât help but notice her chest. Two firm mounds barely covered by her evening party dress rose and fell with each breath. Between them was the same alluring cleavage he had been looking at before the storm hit and they still held his attention.
Gilligan checked on Mr. and Mrs. Howell and found them coming around. The Professor saw to Maryanne and helped her to sit up. All of them were still wet from the storm and being beached. Still it wasnât all that bad because of the warm sun. I wasn't long before most of their clothing had dried.
âWell folks I donât know what to say except Iâm sorry. I had no idea that storm was coming but rest assured each of you will receive a refund.â Skipper was trying his best to sound casual and hopefully staving off any possible law suits.
âNo lights, no phone, no motor car, not a single luxury. Like Robinson Crusoe it was primitive as could beâ.