Rachel and Ross welcomed their first houseguests in their new home, Dr. and Mrs. Greene. Leonard Greene was a cardiologist. Sandy Greene worked thirty hours a week for a local charity. Sandy had earned an Art History degree from Bard College. Ross and Rachel proudly gave the tour of their apartment, which was stunning, dramatic, and spacious. Leonard was a little alarmed at the neighborhood, the building, and the apartment, marveling, "This place must cost a fortune!"
Ross nodded, and said, "Yes, Leonard, it does cost a fortune, but we love it."
Leonard asked, "Can we talk a while, Ross?"
Rachel ran interference for Ross, "Dad! No lectures! Are you up for this, Ross? Because you don't have to."
Ross smiled, "No, no, it's fine, Rachel. C'mon, Leonard. Join me in the living room. Beer?"
"Yeah, that's be great, Ross."
Ross brought Leonard's favorite steam beer in a nice, frosted beer glass. Ross drank the same. Leonard had, at that moment, drawn the conclusion that he had hoped to from the conversation that was about to begin. Ross was a mature, serious young man. He was confident and competent. He was respectful of Rachel's parents, but still his own man. Leonard would not be able to steer this young man, much less intimidate him. And Rachel and Ross had both shown that their relationship was their priority, as it should be.
Leonard proceeded with his planned conversation, but more casually and collegially than he had anticipated. He and Ross clinked glasses. "Well, Ross this is quite a place, but I assume you two are living within your means."
Ross said, "Oh, yes. We can afford it on my salary alone, which is very secure. I'll be tenured at NYU, eventually. I can keep that job the rest of my life, if I like. If my research pans out, and I get published a few times, I might be able to move to Columbia."
"That's your alma mater, isn't it?" Ross nodded. "That's great. I admire you and Rachel living in the city like this. To be honest, I find it intimidating."
"It's home to us, and always will be."
"If I may ask a terribly personal question, Ross, do you want to have children?"
Ross said, very comfortably, "No, we plan not to have kids, Leonard. We've explored our feelings on that very thoroughly, and we're confident we won't."
Leonard said, quickly, "Of course, I'm not begging for grandchildren. Rachel's mother and I will get them from both Jill and Amy, so we're covered." They smiled, and clinked glasses again."
Rachel and Sandy joined the men, each bearing a wine glass. Rachel said, "So, does Ross pass the oral portion of his examination, Dad?"
Leonard said, "Now, now, honey, it's not like that. I am relieved to hear that you two have plenty of income, combined."
Rachel turned to her mother, "Yeah! We figure that Ross's salary, which is steady, can support us here, and my earnings, which are highly variable, are just gravy. We're doing fine, financially."
Sandy asked a perceptive question, the answer to which would tell her how serious these two kids were, "If I may ask, are you two pooling your resources, or...."
Ross and Rachel looked to one another, and Ross said, "Well, Sandy, it's only been a couple of months, so we haven't mixed our finances, yet. I have been paying for everything, and Rachel has been able to save her earnings, or so she tells me." Rachel smiled over her wine glass and wagged her eyebrows. "We will consolidate over time, though. I'm sure Rachel has told you we are planning to be together for the rest of our lives."
Leonard raised his glass, "And very happy we are about it, Ross." The four clinked glasses, and the tone for the remainder of their weekend, and their lives, was set. Sandy Greene had only one more question she needed answered.
That night, Ross and Rachel said good night and retired early. Leonard took it neutrally. Sandy raised her eyebrows to Rachel and Ross as she hugged them good night. Once the bedroom door closed, Sandy hurried into the guest bedroom, shut the door, and retrieved one of Leonard's old stethoscopes from her bag. She put it on, and applied the device to the wall that the two bedrooms shared. Leonard came in, and gave Sandy a scolding look. He whispered to her, "That's ridiculous, Sandy. Give them their privacy." Sandy shushed him and shooed him away.
Sandy needed to know, for herself, how Ross and Rachel interacted in the bedroom. She considered intimacy key to a successful marriage. Sandy, in fact, was still an attractive woman herself, and fully committed to being a good lover for Leonard. At first, Sandy heard Ross and Rachel talking normally about day-to-day things, and about the weekend. Sandy imagined the two were undressing.
Rachel had confided in Sandy that she and Ross both slept in the nude. Suddenly, the talk ceased, ominously. Sandy heard nothing distinct for a while. Ross and Rachel's bed backed up against the common wall. Sandy heard the kids getting into bed. She then heard murmuring sounds, and the sound of the bed rustling, for a while.
Suddenly, Sandy heard the bed moving and Rachel uttering a gentle, "Uh" in rhythm. It was easy to visualize Ross on top of Rachel, drilling her. Rachel was clearly affected by Ross's movements, and in a good way. The steady grunting of Rachel, and the movement of the headboard against the wall, continued for what seemed like a very long time.
Eventually, Sandy heard Ross grunting or breathing, too, also in the same rhythm. The headboard now slapped slightly against the wall. Sandy had a clear mental image of Ross putting it to her daughter fairly hard, rocking the bed, and Rachel handling it well. Soon, the sound of Rachel, Ross and the bed moving in synchrony reached its peak.
Then, there was what sounded like wrestling, with the bed making random noises. Suddenly, the noise stopped, and Sandy heard the sound of a body landing on the bed, and Ross giving a loud sigh. Clearly, Ross had just climaxed. His sperm swam in Rachel's womb. Sandy smiled mischievously. There was the sound of murmuring and gentle noises of the bed.
Then, the sound of soft talking, and a slight rhythmic sound once again. Rachel began to moan in long, soft tones. Ross didn't make a sound. It was just the bed and Rachel, doing something relatively gently, and in unison. Sandy's brow furrowed. She was unsure what she was hearing, but it had to be sexual because of the rhythm. Best guess was that Rachel was on top, and loving it.
Sandy's conjecture was reinforced over the next few minutes. The gentle rhythm of the bed continued, but Rachel's moans grew to a deeply erotic level. Sandy was immediately envious of her daughter. Rachel's moans briefly became more like grunts. Abruptly, all sound ceased. After a minute, Sandy heard the random sounds of a couple going to bed—to sleep.
Sandy quietly left the room and joined Leonard in the living room. He muted the television because Sandy was in tears. They way Sandy hugged him told him these were tears of joy. Sandy now knew that Rachel and Ross were right for each other. Ross would always take care of Rachel, and vice versa. She had no worries about Rachel's future.
Sandy, being a sensual woman herself, wanted to share these times with Rachel. Sandy had never pried into Rachel's love life before, but this was different. Ross and Rachel were forever lovers. In Sandy's mind, that meant that their relationship should not be hidden, at least from family. She and her daughter would now share more intimate facts about their lives, and grow closer.
The next morning, Sandy wagged her eyebrows at Rachel frequently. From the context, and the glances her mom made at Ross, there was no mistaking her meaning. When they had a private moment in the kitchen, Sandy got shoulder-to-shoulder with Rachel, and asked, "So, honey, how was it, last night?"
Rachel said, "Oh, Mother, please." Rachel looked to see that they would not be overheard, and said, "It was wonderful. It always is."
Sandy gave Rachel a big hug, and said, "Oh, darling, I am so happy for you and Ross, both. I did not intend to eavesdrop, but, for future reference, when you have guests, your bed is touching the wall, and every move you make can be clearly heard in the guest room."
Rachel's mouth opened in shock, "No! Oh, my God, Mom, did Dad hear?"
"Not at all, dear. He was in the living room watching TV. But, as one woman to another, Brava, Bellissima!"
Rachel smiled and cringed, "Oh, Mom!" She looked over her shoulder once more, and said, "What did you hear?"
"I heard the sounds of a certain handsome young man on top of my daughter and enjoying himself for an impressively long time." Rachel's eyes and mouth opened wide, and she covered her face with her hands. "Then, I heard some young whore pleasuring herself on that sweet boy."
"Oh, my God! You heard everything. I thought this place was sound proof."
Sandy counseled, Rachel, "If you just pull the bed away from the wall a couple of inches, you'll be fine. Come with me. Sandy led Rachel to the guestroom and closed the door. She reached into her bag, and pulled out the stethoscope."
