Author's note: The series resets with this episode. Remember that as this story progresses, many times they resume the storyline as if never having sex before with each other. So is the case in this episode. Although Penny and Leonard's attraction at the end of season two continues.
One of my readers requested adding pictures of the new characters, but this is not allowed by Literotica. When a new character is introduced, I will put in parenthesis the character's real name so you can look them up on the internet.
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The four guys returned from the arctic expedition. Leonard, Howard and Raj were voicing their displeasure, while Sheldon responded that for him it was a hoot and a half. They hurried up to the apartment; Sheldon spoke to his mother while the guys unpiled their equipment. Leonard hurried out of the apartment, "I'm going to tell Penny we're back." He knocked on Penny's door and she opened it. She had a huge smile on her face, "Leonard, you're back."
"Yeah, I just stopped by to say--" She threw her arms around his neck and planted a hot kiss on his lips. He pulled back, "Yeah, so hi!"
She hugged him, "Hi!" She dragged him into her apartment, kissing him all the way and kicked the door shut.
Raj and Howard were in the doorway watching and Howard exclaimed, "Damn it, I should've gone over and told her we were back."
Raj scoffed at him; "Yeah, it was first come first serve." They went back into the apartment and listened to Sheldon go on and on about the great discoveries he made. They finally broke down and had to tell him the truth, "Please sit down Sheldon, we have something to tell you."
Howard began, "Look, we need to talk to you about something that happened at the North Pole. Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything and you were acting like an obnoxious giant dictator? And when we finally got our first positive data, you were so happy."
"Oh yes, in the world of emoticons, I was colon, capitol D."
"Well, um, in actuality, what your equipment detected wasn't so much evidence of paradigm-shifting monopoles as it was static from the electric can opener we were turning on and off."
His jaw dropped and he stood up, "You tampered with my experiment?"
"We had to; it was the only way to keep you from being such a huge dick."
"Did Leonard know about this? Leonard's my best friend in the world. Surely Leonard didn't know."
Howard looked up at him, "Actually, it was his idea."
"Of course it was, the whole plan reeks of Leonard."
Back in Penny's apartment, she's ravishing him, kissing him continually, "I missed you so much."
He kissed her back, his hands are all over her tight body, "I missed you too."
"I couldn't think of anyone else."
His tongue was halfway down here throat, "Me neither." All of a sudden there was a knocking on the door, over and over again, "Leonard, Leonard, Leonard!"
Leonard whispered to Penny, "Do not make a sound."
Through the door Sheldon blurts out, "Whispering, "Do not make a sound," is a sound."
"Damn his Vulcan hearing...not a good time Sheldon." His hands are all over Penny, he can't wait to get her clothes off.
Sheldon starts up again knocking on the door, "Penny, Penny, Penny!"
She breaks his hold on her and opens the door, "What?"
"Hello Penny, I realize you're currently at the mercy of your biological urges, but as you have a lifetime of poor decisions ahead, may I interrupt this one?"
She comes back with sarcasm, "Great to see you too, come on in."
He hurried in and stood before Leonard, "Wolowitz has informed me of your grand deception. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
"Yes, I feel terrible about it. I will never forgive myself. I don't expect you to. I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me with Penny for a session of self-criticism and repentance."
Penny breaks in, "Can someone tell me what's going on here?"
Sheldon turned to her, "What's going on here is, I was led to believe I was making groundbreaking strides in science, when in fact I was being fed false data at the hands of Wolowitz, Koothrappali and your furry little boy toy."
She looked to Leonard, "Is that true?"
He nodded, "It was the only way to make him happy."
"Why'd you have to make him happy?"
"Because when he wasn't happy, we wanted to kill him. There was even a plan. We were going to throw his Kindle outside and when he went to get it, lock the door and let him freeze to death."
Sheldon was shocked, "That seems like a bit of an overreaction."
Leonard shook his head, "No! The overreaction was to tie your limbs to four different sled-dog teams and yell "Mush!" Look, we kept the original data. You can still publish the actual results."
"Yes, but the actual results are unsuccessful. I sent an e-mail to everyone at the university explaining I confirmed string theory and forever changed man's understanding of the universe."
Leonard shook his head again, "Oh, see yeah, you probably shouldn't have done that. So write another e-mail. Set the record straight, it's no big deal."