Katy Perry was known for a lot of things - some bigger than others. But one other thing was an unfortunate taste in men. Russell Brand, John Mayer, a bunch of rappers and DJs, etc.
And then there was me.
Despite not being a musician or dirty mouthed comedian/musician, I still ran into Katy Perry. Despite not being famous, she talked to me and seemed to enjoy it. Despite all the other things I wasn't, she met me and talked to me a bunch more times after that. But anything beyond that hadn't happened.
Since this wasn't long after things with Mayer fell apart, I had a guess as to why. She confirmed it one night, explaining that although I was different from her exes - which made me all the more tempting, apparently - she couldn't trust herself in a relationship right now. Even in one that wasn't serious.
According to her, she didn't want to risk putting me in the spotlight and media eye, for something she couldn't commit to for too long. In any case, she was going on tour soon enough anyway, so whatever time we had together would be cut short. I had to admit some of those points were valid.
Many were overshadowed by her admission that she was attracted to me, though. That's why it made it hard to come to this decision and show restraint, apparently. I didn't know if I was more flattered or frustrated, though.
To get this close to one of the hottest entertainers around, only to get cock blocked in more ways than one, was frustrating. To be even considered that way by one of the sexiest women around was flattering. Maybe it was a mix of both that made me come up with a plan.
By the time she agreed, we settled on what would be our first and only date.
She would set aside the last night before going on tour to come to my place, instead of risking a scene going out. We would otherwise have a normal dinner, and...anything that would happen afterwards, we would let happen so that we wouldn't have to wonder 'what if.' Then she could go after having all the extra fun of a relationship, but none of the heartbreak at the end.
She got to leave someone on good terms, and I would have one perfect night to remember forever. It sounded more and more like a good arrangement when we agreed. I just hoped she still thought that way when the big night came.
When it did, I made sure dinner was close to ready and I was presentable by the time she was scheduled to arrive. While we weren't going out on the town, dressing up sold the allusion of a regular date. I won't lie about how eager I was to see her play and look the part.
Then again, clothing might not be a top priority later on.
In case she backed out of that part, I had steeled myself to accept it, at least while she was still here. If she didn't, I had condoms ready and I'd thoroughly...drained myself before starting dinner plans. Either way, I had the allusion that I was ready.
I kept it up when I heard a knock on my door. I held firm when she came in wearing sunglasses and a trench coat. I even stayed calm when she kissed my cheek hello and smiled when she smelled my cooking. But when she removed her coat, the allusion was shattered.
Katy's tight, light blue dress matched her big blue eyes, accentuated all the curves hidden underneath - and those popping out of it - and had straps that could easily be lowered. They only did so much to keep her boobs inside the dress, though.
I credited myself for not gaping too much at her cleavage in past meetings - at least not too obviously when she was showing it. She'd clearly saved the biggest test for last, though. Maybe I didn't necessarily have to pass it, considering what this night was about. However, I wanted to pass on some kind of curve - pun not intended.
Katy just smiled as I kept my eyes on her face. Of course, her eyes, her hair and her red lips didn't help me gawk all the less. But she didn't comment - she knew what I was going through, since she'd put a good majority of men through the same thing. I liked to think my reaction measured up well against some of them.
Whether it did or didn't, Katy took her seat at the dining table and I got back to actual work in the kitchen. When it was done, we sat and ate together without anything going wrong, or without any conversation about...after dinner. Indeed, it was like a normal dinner.
Leaving aside Katy's details about the tour, her final rehearsals, her other public appearances to come and tidbits on when I could see them on TV. Still, she kept things light and regular, which was probably very important for her. But after years of being bubbly, cheerful and peppy for audiences, no matter what else was happening, she knew how to push everything else down.
Despite some questionable romantic choices, and the occasional ditzy public moment, she was no dummy. She was just more conscious of using her head more than her heart with a man this time, even one she said she really liked.
Maybe a wild, hot night of sex would hurt more than help with that. Maybe I couldn't bring too much of my A-game - assuming it was really that good. Maybe thinking this would get each other out of our system was too risky, for both of us.
As such, when we finished dinner, I didn't make a move for anything else and neither did she. We sat down together on the couch to flip through TV, but didn't get any closer. I began to wonder if we'd already talked ourselves out of anything more, before Katy actually started talking.
"I'm not forcing you to do anything," she said. "I mean, I know a night like this, with me, wouldn't take a guy too much convincing."
"Other guys wouldn't think it over too much. Maybe not in the right way," I offered. "Not that I'm bragging."
"I know," she assured.
"And not that I'm trying to guilt you. I know that's not what this is supposed to be about," I backtracked.
"I know," she repeated. "I should probably tell you not to be so nice. But if you weren't, I wouldn't let myself do this. At least I'd try not to. Then again...I can't get too upset or think too much about this being...our only date. But if I do, I can't let that change my mind either."
"I know," I said this time.
"I'm sorry if that's sending mixed signals on...what you should do. Or how well you should do it," Katy stated.
"I mean, I want it to be great, that's the point. I want it to be sweet and romantic and sexy and hot and dirty and naughty all at once! I want to pack all those different kinds of fucking and blowing and sucking in one night...so we both don't have to wonder what we were missing out on. I mean, we might wonder what we were missing out on with our clothes on! But maybe cramming all this in will make the rest of it easier."
"We won't know until we try, I guess," I settled on, not trusting myself to be as graphic quite yet. It was hard enough keeping my hands discreetly on my crotch.
"It'd be real nice, as a change of pace, to have all that with a man without regret and pain for once," Katy told me again. "Maybe it'll help me be ready for something longer like that later. Nothing else has worked for the long haul. But if I gotta try getting back on my feet like that with someone..."
"I know," I jumped ahead. "If I gotta be a guinea pig for a sexy star..." I trailed off, not needing to finish either. Katy merely smiled in relief, sitting herself right next to me.
I didn't make a move, but I knew it was coming soon anyway. Until then, I looked at Katy as she pretended to watch the TV. I watched her full, half-naked chest heave up and down, made myself look up at her bright smile and her gorgeous baby blues, subtly caught the scent of her brunette hair - and yet again wondered why she needed to change its colors so many times - and then took a fuller view of her hourglass figure in that dress.
"Mmm...Katy..." I let out, Homer Simpson style. It seemed as dumb as Homer a second later, though at least I wasn't doing the Homer drool. Maybe I could save it by referencing her guest spot with Simpsons puppets.
But it wasn't necessary once Katy chuckled and turned her head, then finally started bringing it closer.
"No rush," she said quietly. "We've got hours before I gotta go, and I can always sleep on the plane. Till then...I want to do everything. In every way."
That reminder left me in no hurry when Katy's lips finally met mine for the first time. I let her kiss me slowly and gently, before kissing back the same way. We exchanged several more kisses like that before I laid back on the arm of the couch, with Katy laying herself against me.
I let my hand go up to her face, then into her silky hair and down her back. My other hand joined in so I could fully feel the curves of her waist, just as Katy's tongue got into my mouth. I felt her chest press deeper against me, but our mouths only picked up the pace a little bit.
It would be corny and easy to say she tasted like cherry chapstick. She still tasted like some kind of sweet candy, though. If that was how her mouth tasted...
My hands stopped just short of her round ass, as Katy broke from my mouth to start kissing down my jaw. Her lips and tongue trailed down my skin expertly, so I tried to trail up it the same way with my hands. They stopped below her breasts, but instead of taking the next step, I let my lips go over to her shoulder.
I kissed next to and around her right strap, preparing myself to slide it down and see what came out. Yet Katy sat up to stop me. "Leave it on right now," she said. "I want your face on my tits just as they are."
Since she wasn't beating around the bush, I didn't either - although my destination was higher than that. I sat up and rested my hands back below her chest, then gently dropped my face into some of the most drooled over cleavage on the planet. It was enough to make me literally drool on it.
"Kiss it," Katy softly said. "Lick it. I want you to eat it out like you'd eat my pussy..." Since her mouth was clearly getting into it, I returned the favor.
