Everything Loos Better

C-South High School, Zanarkand

The only place Raine could be alone to cry was in the park, on the swings.

Head down, shoes elevated from the trench of mud below the swing, Raine didn't get far, the tears only just welling up in her eyes when Auron's boots appeared in her range of vision.

She swallowed and hastily cast away the tears. "I thought I gave you the slip."

"You underestimate me."

Raine squinted into the setting sun at him. He was all sunglasses, collar and hair whipping in the wind. There was a dead leaf in his hair from whatever cluster of trees he had come out of. "I should have known you'd find me."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Forcing a weak smile, she said, "Oh, Auron, it's just girl stuff. I wouldn't want to bore you."

"Hmph."

He studied the swing next to her, tested its engineering with a firm tug on the chain and he seemed out of place as he carefully sat, figuring out its movement. Raine tried to picture him as a child on the swings and wondered if they were the same age, if they would ever be friends. It was hard to say. She didn't see him as the playground type.

"Don't you have practice?" he asked, his gaze swinging to the field.

The girls on her squad were rehearsing some advanced cradle catches and even at this distance Raine could hear Lindsey Seawell shouting her shrill criticisms.

"I don't feel well." Physically, she was fine, but today had been especially draining. She found out from one of the other girls on the squad Jory had been cheating on her with Lindsey Seawell. It wasn't an act of mercy; it was said with plenty of nasty intent. Raine spent the rest of the day between classes, hunting Jory down for the truth and by the time she pinned him for answers, he'd had time to make up a cover story about how they had just been talking.

"You look pale," Auron agreed, furrowing his eyebrows in concern.

"Gee, thanks," she said, glancing self-consciously over her shoulder at a group of girls walking by with book bags. Today had been a ponytail day and her uniform was a little wrinkled because she didn't have time to iron it this morning. Now, apparently she wasn't getting enough sun. Great.

"Besides..." She looked furtively back to the field. "I think I'm going to quit."

His glasses were trained on her in an instant. "Why?"

She shrugged. "It's stupid."

"It teaches you skills."

She rolled her eyes at him. "What skills? Basket tosses? Thigh stands? How to be at the bottom of a double hitch pyramid?"

"You shouldn't give up so easily."

She didn't say anything, but she knew he was right. If she quit now, Lindsey and the girls would know she'd been beaten.

"These people...they only focus on the superficial. Hair, make-up, clothes..." Raine flicked her eyes to Auron. "Scars."

His eye moved obliquely to hers.

"For them, looking at a person's true character is beyond their depth. It's a lot of work to be popular, you know. Well, for me it is. It came easy to Tidus. Everybody liked him and he didn't have to try to be someone he wasn't."

"Ignorance is bliss," Auron said.

"Yeah, maybe. I always thought we were so different, Tidus and me. Sometimes, I would think Tidus was one of them. Superficial. Like we were on separate teams. He was an Abe, I was a Duggle."

"Tidus did say the Duggles play dirty."

Raine thought he might be alluding to a previous conversation, but he was turned away, staring across the playground. "Auron, I think I would like for us to be friends."

"We are friends."

"No, friends like you and Tidus were friends."

"I thought you liked our current arrangement."

Raine hesitated. That was when she cared about what her schoolmates thought if they saw her walking home with Auron. "Well, I'd like to discuss a new arrangement. I'm almost 18. I can pick my own friends."

"Hm. Friends."

She glanced up tentatively. "You want to be friends, don't you?"

"If you wish."

"If I wish?"

Auron bristled as he situated in his swing to look at her.

"Don't do me any favors," she barked. "I have plenty of pretend friends."

"I'm unclear." Auron wrinkled his forehead. "What is it you want?"

"Forget it," she muttered, crossing her arms. "It was a stupid idea."

"Being friends is a stupid idea?" There was a catch of humor in his tone.

"I didn't mean it like that." Raine sighed, irritated. "The real question is: what do

you

want? Most people want to be my friend because of my famous father and because my brother was popular, so don't pretend we're friends because my brother asked you to. If you must stalk me—stalk me. But be my friend because you want to."

"Hmph," Auron said, brooding.

"What?"

"No one's ever asked what I want before."

"I don't think anyone's ever asked me, either." As Raine gazed up at him, a breeze blew her blonde locks into her face and she restrained them behind her ear. "But if we're going to be friends, I need you to show me more of your cards."

"My cards?"

"You know...the ones you don't show until it's your turn?"

He nodded. "Which card?"

Raine already knew which card she wanted to see. She'd been kept up many nights wondering how Auron met her father if he was from another world. "How do you know my father?"

Straightening his posture, Auron did not appear ready to answer. "We...worked together."

"Bullshit."

Auron swung his head in her direction and he looked like he might scold her for swearing.

"My father never worked a day in his life, except for Blitzball. And you don't look like a very good swimmer."

Those reflective sunglasses were pasted to her.

"Auron? Tell me."

He shook his head. "Not now. You've had a long day."

"Don't give me that. What aren't you telling me?"

Grunting reluctantly, he said, "Your father and your brother...they didn't die the way you think they did."

"How did they die?"

"Sin."

"Oh, I know that," Raine said. "Tidus died from a Sin attack on the Zanarkand Stadium. And my dad died at sea during Blitzball practice. I suppose Sin could have—"

Auron waved his gauntlet to silence her. "They died in my world fighting Sin. During a pilgrimage."

Raine blinked. "Oh."

"My first pilgrimage was with your father and a Summoner named Braska."

"And your second was with my brother?"

"Hm," he confirmed.

"Who was the Summoner on your second Pilgrimage?"

"A girl named Yuna."

A stab of jealousy made Raine frown. "Who's Yuna?" she asked, with an edge of accusation.

"Braska's daughter."

"Oh," she said and felt stupid. "So she's my age?"

"Closer to Tidus. They were in love."

Raine gaped. "My brother fell in love with a Summoner?"

"Hm." He had turned to her slightly, gave her answers readily, almost anxiously. He...

liked

talking about his pilgrimages, when he got started. Once he forgot about the fatalities.

"So was it was just you and Tidus with Yuna?"

"There were others. Yuna was fortunate to trust so many."

"Who were they?"

"People from her village. Her cousin, an Al Behd. A Ronso, who raised her."

"You have Ronsos in your world?"

"Hm." He nodded.

"I've never seen one, just pictures. They seem scary."

"Maybe on the outside. Kimahri was gentle, utterly loyal."

"I suppose. Sometimes you seem scary, but you're not so bad." She launched herself sideways on the swing to bump him and he stomped a foot down to brace himself. He was chuckling.

Raine wondered if Auron had ever fallen in love, but she knew asking him directly would make him shut down. However, he never denied her information when she asked about his pilgrimages...

"So..." she began carefully, like approaching a wild animal. "Women can be Guardians?"

"Of course."

"Even to men Summoners?"

He gave an even shrug. "If they can do the job."

"So there were women in your Pilgrimage?"

"Yes."

"Were they my age?"

Auron's brow wrinkled thoughtfully. "Rikku is your age—"

"Rikku?"

"Yuna's cousin."

Somehow, Raine felt less envious knowing that.

Auron didn't have to be prompted to continue. "And Lulu is a little older. Early twenties."

"So as far as Guardians go, you're..."

His head slanted to her, but his collar and glasses hid any expression.

"Experienced," she finished with a quirk of her lips.

"You could say that," he said and grunted a laugh.

Raine saw her chance and moved to corner him. "Was Lulu pretty?"

Sensing a trap, Auron regarded her with a sagacious stare of his sunglasses and Raine felt vulnerable under his look, despite it was her trick to set. "She was beautiful," he said, very matter of fact.

The jealousy was stabbing as she dropped her eyes to study the ground. Her ploy had backfired. She was trying not to spook him into silence with her questions, but with one sentence he was able to shut her down. The heat of fresh tears threatened to emerge, so she kept her head down and clenched them back, leaning her temple against the chain of the swing.

Auron sighed, looked away, and softened his tone. "But Lulu was a little...dark for me."

"It's not that." Raine shook her head at his explanation. "Sorry, I'm just having a bad day. Let's change the subject."

"Let's," Auron agreed.

"Did you get your scar on a Pilgrimage?"

In any other case, Raine would not have asked about his scar, fearing he would become mute, but it seemed an easy query to ask now and he responded without hesitation.

"Right after my first Pilgrimage."

"What happened?"

"Stupid mistake."

She sniffed, lifted her chin to face him. "Aren't most mistakes stupid?"

"Not if you learn from them."

"What did you learn from your mistake?"

"That I'm not immune to being stupid." His eye crinkled and she knew he was smiling.

Raine leaned back in the swing, holding onto the chains so she could look at the orange sky. "It's not fair, you know."

"What isn't?"

"You knew Tidus and my father differently than I did. You knew them at their best."

"Raine—"

"It's true, though, isn't it? Jecht stopped drinking for some Summoner he'd known for a couple months?"

"Braska and I always knew he would start again when the Pilgrimage ended."

"But you still knew him sober, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"And Tidus died fighting alongside the woman he loved. He must have become so brave."

Auron only cleared his throat, finding something across the park very interesting. He was wiping his nose with the back of his gloved finger, casually enough, but Raine was hit with the sudden realization Auron missed Tidus. Sometimes she forgot exactly how much time they spent together when Tidus was young.

Focusing her attention back on the leaf caught in his hair, Raine reached over to the side of his head. "Come here, this is bugging me."

Auron ducked sideways, dodging her warily.

She revealed her empty hand to him, a pacifying gesture. "There's just something in your hair."

Slowly, he leaned hesitantly to her hand. Combing her fingers through his hair, she caught the leaf and sifted it out. His hair gleamed in the sun like it was wet, but it was soft, and it was darker and thicker in the back, compared to his front hairline which was loosely shaped like a lowercase "m," the sides skunk-streaked with silver. Although the leaf was gone, he let her gently rake her fingers through it a little longer and she felt like she was petting the wild animal she'd caught. She tried not to make any sudden movements or say anything, although she wanted to ask if he conditioned on account of how silky his hair was.

"Just a leaf," Raine said, reaching further down, hearing the crackle of more dead leaves, collecting in his collar like a funnel. She clicked her tongue. "No more hiding in the woods for you, okay? If anyone asks what you're doing, you tell them you're waiting for me."

Her fingers nudged against something hard at his neckline, wrapped tightly in cord, and as her fingers tried to coil around it, she found it was tucked into his shirt.

"What is this?" she asked, knowing he might draw away.

And he did, roughly, nearly taking her fingers with him, as though just realizing what she was doing. He reached into his back collar to adjust whatever was there and something edged in on the outskirts of Raine's memory, something about what was there, that she had seen it before, handled it, even.

"Auron, do you have a tail?"

"You know I do."

She looked away, the blurry recollection coming into careful focus. She smiled. "You used to let me braid it, didn't you?"

"It kept you quiet," he grumbled.

"I remember I used to tie it off with a pink ribbon that had blue polka dots. Do you still have it?"

"It...got lost."

With an unconcerned shrug, she said, "I suppose it's been a while."

She thought about asking if he would let her braid it again, but she could just about imagine his answer, although it wouldn't be the first time she asked something knowing the answer would be a very stern "No." The more humiliating the request, the harsher the no.

"Practice is over," she said, finding the field empty. "My aunt will be expecting me home soon and I'm bringing a friend home for dinner."

"Would you like me to walk you home?"

"You better," she grinned. "Dinner's at 6."

Room 4, Rin's Travel Agency, Macalania

Sin...Tidus...the Final Aeon...

Thinking of them gave Raine a stomachache.

Lying on the coverlet, belly down, her feet lazily kicking the pillows, Raine paged listlessly through the Summoning book, her attention briefly harnessed by an occasional picture, until Auron brought out the whetstone block. She liked watching him sharpen his sword. Working with his hands, he seemed so medieval.

Rolling on her side, Raine propped her head up on her hand to watch, doubling suddenly from a sharp cramp in her gut. By the time she winced and dug her fingers into her side to massage it away, it had already elusively faded, but not before Auron noticed. Sliding his katana half way from its sheath, he paused and looked at her.

"You okay?"

"Just a belly ache." There had to be a way to make it go away for a while. "Does Rin have a liquor license?"

"A what?"

"Sorry. I forget we're in the middle of Rural, Nowhere."

"Are you thirsty?"

"I wouldn't mind a beer. Or seven." However many it took to dull the ache.

Wiping the oil off his blade with a dry cloth, Auron suspiciously peered over his glasses. "You can't handle that much."

"Precisely. What the hell, right? You only live once."

"Usually," he agreed blandly. "But it's not a good idea."

She evinced mild offense. "I'd be good drunk, not like my father."

"As amusing as it may be, I need you focused."

"I'm focused," she yawned, stretching out on her back. Her shoulders were still tight from wielding that horrible Enchanted Rod.

Auron snorted.

"What? I've never been drunk before. I think I'd like to know what it's like, that's all."

Resting her cheek on the coverlet, she looked over at Auron for a response, but his dark glasses were trained on her, low, in the direction of her hips. She peeked down at herself self-consciously and tugged her thick, shapeless pajama top back down over her exposed belly button.

Apparently this was the only sleeping attire Auron favored to see her in and she wondered if it had something to do with that night he returned from Spira. She remembered the faint smell of ozone in Auron's red cloak from his portal voyage and how scratchy his hands felt against her body and ever since she always wondered where he might have touched her next if she hadn't stopped him. Considering her new flannel pajamas, she suspected Auron also wondered.

Immediately, Auron resumed cleaning his blade, and Raine tried to ignore the arduous, writhing look flitting momentarily across his face as he flipped over the sword and wiped the other side. "Your father used alcohol as a means of escape," he said. "I fear your intensions aren't far off."

"You'd deny me a dying wish? You give everyone else their dying wishes."

Auron looked up and considered her for a long moment, before he glanced diagonally to the dresser.

She sat up with interest, her eyes fixing on his stoneware jug. Face creeping with a crafty grin, Raine peered deviously at him out of the corner of her eye. "Have you been holding out on me, Auron?"

He stopped mid-wipe. "

Raine

..." he warned.

Raine felt a charge course through her as they stared at each other, frozen, blue eyes to reflective sunglasses. Something about the way his eyebrow arched made her think he was daring her and the idea of disobeying him was exciting. After a long, still moment, they sprang into action at the same time: she scurried out of bed, Auron's sword clanged to the table.

Hooking the tiny pressed handle with a curled finger, Raine snagged the jug and narrowly escaped his outstretched arm as she circled the table. Auron tried to cut her off on her way to the bed, but she skimmed through his fingers with a dodgy move worthy of the Blitzball pool and managed to put the bed in between them. Surprised with its heaviness, she pinned the jug under her arm, her fingers posed around the cork as she examined Auron's face to see how angry he was. Not angry enough, by her calculation. He had stopped stoic by the bedside table and his arms were folded.

"Don't," he said, but it was dry, without persuasion.

Twisting the plug, Raine loosened it slowly.

Coolly, he started around the bed for her, but she jumped on, stampeded the pillows, crumpling the quilt and the sheets underneath. With an exasperated sigh, Auron stopped at the foot of the bed, palms up in a brief beseeching gesture. Stance wide, Raine evaluated where he would go, ready to jump depending on which way he went. Heat pleasantly dropped between her legs when she considered letting him catch her, the mental image of him wrestling the jug from her was especially pleasing. Of course, he would never do that. Auron didn't

play

.

Keeping a close eye on Auron for unexpected movements, Raine knelt on the coverlet, her fingers working at the squeaking cork until it suddenly popped off. Sniffing the jug's opening, Raine smelled nothing, but she could hear the resonant jostle of liquid inside. Unintimidated by Auron's looks of disapproval, she tossed back her head and poured the drink into her mouth. She tried not to backwash, but the container was so awkward and full it was hard not to and she ended up taking more than she could handle. Some of it poured over the side of her mouth, splashed on the front of her flannel pajamas. Lowering the jug, she held the liquid in her mouth as she tried to determine what it was. It was unsatisfyingly smooth. Swallowing, she balanced the jug on her thigh and wiped her mouth with her other hand, glaring at Auron.