Note- More imagined stories of the so far unseen new Doctor.
xxx
The Doctor and Ruby Sunday stood side by side and blinked in the hot sunshine and prairie dust. As far as the eye could see there was nothing.
The TARDIS already had a smidgen of sand at the base.
"Did we make it?" Asked Ruby.
The Time Lord looked up as the bright sun began to drop in the cloudless blue sky. His young companion was rather fetching in a short sleeved blue dress and white felt hat.
The denim dress came mid thigh and the lace up front was undone halfway so that the cleavage of her perky breasts were clearly visible to all. On her feet she wore a pair of black pointed cowboy boots with white stitching along the sides and a chunky two inch heel.
"My readings indicate that we are in America in the year 1881. Tombstone."
"Far out! I just love the old Wild West."
"It's not all its cracked up to be. Been here, seen that. Doc Holliday fixed my tooth once. Terrible dentist. Always reeked of whiskey. Hopefully we can have a more peaceful visit after our last trip." (See chapter 10)
Before they could take any more in of their surroundings, a lariat whistled through the air, like a rattlesnake through grass. Both time travelers were snared back to back and tightly bound with their arms pinned to their sides.
"Hey! What gives?"
Struggling in vain, The Doctor and companion looked up to see a figure silhouetted by the sun on horseback. The oppressive heat shimmered in a haze as they watched the shadowy person dismount and then take a water canteen from the mare's saddle to drink from.
"It's a cowboy." Said Ruby, somewhat surprised.
The figure looked at the tied up pair and then spat noisily on the dusty ground.
"Do I look like a man? You fucking skinny twit."
Indeed, as their eyes adjusted to the bright sunshine, they saw a tall blonde with a white hat on top of long and shiny hair that glinted gold in the sun. Her red and white flannel shirt was tucked into a pair of black, pencil thin trousers. The Time Lord's eyes were led to the front of her blouse which had tiny pearl buttons that strained to keep her hefty boobs in check. Around her trim waist was a black leather belt which helped nip her in even further, and thereby emphasising her huge breasts. Slung under the belt was another, which housed her twin revolvers..
"Now there's no need for horrid language like that. Just be nice."
"Can it, you! Are you from Africa?"
The latest regeneration of the Tome Lord had seen him take on a dark skinned complexion.
"And why are you dressed like that? Do you perform in a circus?"
"Cheek! I chose this outfit because I like it."
The Doctor had refrained from dressing like the current age and kept on his brown and black three quarter length jacket and bright orange sweater.
"Who are you anyway? And why are we tied up?"
"See this, Circus Boy?"
The Doctor huffed and focused on the woman's left breast. Very nice, he thought.
Now that his regeneration had settled, this persona, his fifteenth, had acquired a considerably larger sex drive than most of his previous incarnations. The sinking sun then reflected off of her shiny badge.
"I'm the local Sheriff in this flea bitten excuse for a town. The name's Eastwood. Clit Eastwood."
"Clit?"
"Cynthia, actually. Can't stand the name. Prefer Clit. As do most of my men. Get me? Now, where are your horses? And is that your wagon? Bit on the small side. And a hideous shade of blue. Anyhoo. Git going."
The buxom babe remounted and her mare trotted off, dragging the pair of bemused travelers along in her wake. They stumbled and tried to keep up, and their leather boots kicked up dirt all the way.
"May I ask you a simple question?" Said Ruby as she desperately tried to stay in step.
Clit exhaled and looked over her shoulder.
"Spit it out, skinny."
"Where are we?"
"You two sure take the biscuit. We're in Arizona."
"Ah. Not Tombstone."
"Tombstone is due west about a hundred miles. A bit too fancy for me."
"Ah, missed it by that much." Sighed The Doctor.
"Since I became Sheriff, this town has been tamed. Before I took over, the place was teaming with rustlers, thieves, gunmen, gamblers, and prostitutes. The outlaw gangs had been running roughshod over the territory and I alone nipped it all in the bud. The Clantons had long been rustling cattle from Old Mexico, moving their plunder northward to their ranch on the San Pedro River. But I sent them on their merry way."
The mare's hooves clopped audibly on the dirt track of the one horse town. With her prisoners in tow, Clit Eastwood headed straight for the Sheriff's office. There, she dismounted and secured her ride to the hitching rail. She called it an office, but in reality it was simply a sorry looking shack with one room and two cells. The sour looking woman tugged the bound young couple inside and let the lariat slip to the wooden floor.
"Until I can tell you are on the level, you're to be locked up. Capiche? I want no funny business from either of you. Or else."
Clit unholstered one of her twin shooting irons and jiggled it at them.
She unlocked the cell doors and shoved them into a cage of their own. The iron doors clanged shut with a resounding finality. Then she hung up the ring of keys over the back of her chair. Ruby looked up at the tiny three barred window in the brick wall forlornly, and then at the small wooden cot and sat. The Doctor handled the bars of his cell and stared at their captor.
"What do you mean to do with us?"
"Well. First thing is, you need clothes. We don't want you in that circus get up in Buttscratch."
"Where?"
"Buttscratch, Arizona. The carbuncle on the ass of the state."
As Clit spoke, she rustled up some clothing and tossed it through the bars. A one piece denim dungaree with a button tab and bib.
Clit sat at her desk, removed her hat and fussed with her luxuriant golden locks. The office was for the most part bare and functional. Opposite the cells was a twin bunk, over which hung two rifles. In the other corner was a table with a decorated wash bowl and pitcher. And next to that was an ancient looking copper lined iron tub with four clawed feet.
"Er. Where's the bathroom?" Wondered Ruby.
"Under your cot." Came the curt reply.
She then reached under the bed and fished out a shiny enamel chamber pot with handle.
"Bloody hell!"
x
"Hi, Clit. Long time no see."
The female sheriff lifted her boots off her desk as the door of the jail opened and a tall man stood in the threshold.
She raised the brim of her hat and squinted in the sunlight that filtered in. Her baby blue eyes focused on the figure of a six feet three stranger with thick brown hair. His square jaw had a hint of a beard, and his droopy moustache failed to hide his discernable grimace.
"Still living in a shit hole then. Who are these jokers?" He jerked his thumb at the occupied cells.
The Doctor and Ruby got up from their cots, held onto the bars of their cells and pressed their noses up against the steel to study the lean looking cowboy.
