Dragonborn Rising

Chapter 19 - Recovery

*****

Three months later...

I had barely left the house since returning from Windhelm having killed the man responsible. I knew I would never have found the Argonian who did the deed. No doubt they'd have returned to Black Marsh. Finding the man who had given the order was enough. Though I barely left the house, I still received the occasional visitor. Brynjolf would drop by once a week, letting me know the latest news and gossip from the Flagon. Karliah would visit every so often, just to see how I was doing. Aranea still worked for me, and though she hadn't moved back in, spent more time at mine than anywhere else.

And then there was Haelga, who in no way tried to seduce me, but I know she was wondering if I would change my mind about our relationship, once I'd stopped mourning my wife. I would visit her grave once a week, placing a new bouquet of the flowers she had loved, letting her know that I was thinking about her, that I missed her terribly, but that I hoped she was at peace wherever she was. The first time I had visited her grave, I let her know I'd found the man responsible for her death. The flowers had bloomed spectacularly within a couple of weeks. Maybe it was just in my mind, but I took it as a sign that the news had made her happy.

But after three months, I was going a little stir crazy and needed to do something with my life. And the more I thought about it, the more I was ready to take Astrid's offer. But more than that, I was missing the intimate touch of a woman. The last time I had been intimate with my wife had been the night everything had gone wrong. Besides my wife, there was only one woman I would consider being intimate with. The fact I knew she would be receptive made things slightly easier. I couldn't mourn forever, and I knew Muiri would want me to move on. And considering she knew of my previous relationship, I'm sure she'd approve.

Walking into the Bunkhouse, Svana was at the counter. She smiled at me and yelled upstairs that I was there. Haelga came bounding down the stairs and leapt into my arms, rather happy to see me. I couldn't help chuckle at her excitement. Leaning back to look at me, the smile on her face was infectious. "You look... better, Ragnar."

"I had to get out of the house. It's getting rather lonely moping about. So, I thought I'd come visit you."

Leaning forward, looking up at me, she asked, "And you thought of me first?"

"I did." My hands were on her back, and I slowly moved one down so it rested just above her arse. "I have to move on, Haelga."

"I understand, Ragnar. I had to do the same thing when I lost my husband. Such a shame we now share widowhood in common."

"Aye. Perhaps a topic best not discussed too often."

She smiled. "But now you're out of the house. What did you want?"

"What I wanted was for you to join me in the Bee and Barb for dinner tonight. Would you like to join me?"

"Just dinner?" she whispered.

"Honestly, no. I can't remember the last time... But I also know how that must make you feel..."

She leaned up to kiss me. A soft, gentle kiss. The first time I'd kissed a woman since that last night with Muiri. The first time I'd kissed another woman since the day I proposed to Muiri. Yet, because of the history I had with Haelga, it felt right immediately. "I'll join you there once the sun has gone down. Would you like to return here with me?"

"Aye. Returning to Riftweald... Honestly, I just want to sell it..."

"No, don't do that. Make new memories in addition to those already there."

"Maybe I should get a new bed though. It wouldn't be right..."

"I can't tell you what to do, Ragnar. Do what you think or what feels right. No matter what you do, Muiri would understand. And I'm sure you know she'd want you to move on."

I kissed her, the same she gave me. I didn't exactly want to put on a show for Svana, plus there were still a few hurdles in my mind I needed to get over. But it was nice to hold a woman in my arms again, Haelga resting her head against me as I gently stroked her hair. "I've missed this feeling," she said softly, "And before you say anything, don't apologise. I know how happy you were. And I'm sorry..."

"Thank you. It means a lot, especially from yourself."

For the first time in three months, I had reason to smile. Haelga said again that I looked much better before I left her to work, and I found myself wandering around Riften. I still felt the weight of the world on my shoulders but I felt better about things. I hadn't trimmed my beard or hair in months, nor had a proper wash, so I headed to where Aranea still lived, and asked for her help. When I told her why, she immediately escorted me back to Riftweald, where my beard and hair were trimmed and neatened up, water heated so I could enjoy a proper wash, and she made sure I dressed to impress.

"Now, just remember one thing, Ragnar. You go as fast or as slow as you want. I know why you've gone back to Haelga. You want intimacy again."

"Know me that well?"

"You're a man, Ragnar. And, trust me on this, I know what it's like to go without intimacy for a long time." Taking a step back, she looked me up and down. "And I'm sure Haelga will be impressed with the effort you've made. You won't be returning here?"

"No, I'll stay at the Bunkhouse if the night goes well."

Taking a seat at my usual table, I received plenty of hearty hellos as I sat down and enjoyed a tankard of ale, chatting with anyone who wanted to join me. Most simply enquired as to my state of mind, as they wouldn't have seen me in months. And if they had, I'd probably shared few words with them. Haelga walked in as I was nursing a third tankard. She kissed my cheek before taking a seat opposite. If anyone was surprised by her sitting with me, they didn't show it, and no-one made any comment. I bought her a tankard too, and ordered dinner.

It was just like old times, and I found myself laughing quite a lot that night, Haelga regaling me with stories of life in the Bunkhouse. After we finished eating dinner, Haelga cut straight to the chase, asking if I'd like to accompany her home. I said yes without hesitation. She offered her hand and practically dragged me away. "Enjoy yourself, Ragnar!" I heard someone call out, to the laughter of plenty of others. I certainly wasn't going to take offence.

It had been a long time since I'd been in Haelga's penthouse. Well over a year and more. Nothing had changed, though. Once the door was closed, she was all over me, her mouth desperate for mine, her hands trying to disrobe me as quickly as possible. I was returning the favour, and may have accidentally ripped her dress. She told me not to worry, so I ripped it some more before it dropped to the ground. Underwear followed just as quickly before I led her backwards to the bed.

"No foreplay," she said, "Just sex."

"Sure?"

She nodded as she shuffled backwards, beckoning me to join her with a finger. I did kiss up her body, taking a breast in my mouth for a moment, giving each nipple a quick bite, before kissing her, my right hand down by her sex. I couldn't help smile as she was soaking wet. She needed to gasp when I touched her. "I haven't had sex in over a year, Ragnar."

That brought me to a halt. "You're serious? But... You're you!"

"I was still in love, Ragnar. I still am now." She put a finger to my lips. "And you don't have to say a thing. Just letting you know."

Sliding my cock inside her, I watched her face break into an enormous grin, hearing her gasp as I wasted no time burying my entire length. She felt just as good as the first time I'd been inside her. Wrapping her legs around me immediately, I was quickly thrusting away into her. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she dragged me down to kiss her. I growled into her mouth as I fucked her even harder. She needed to break the kiss to moan. "Yes, Ragnar," she hissed quietly, "Fuck me!"

"I won't last long."

"I don't care. Fuck me and cum in me. This is just the start."

I stopped a moment. "The restart?"

"Just fucking, no feelings this time. Well, at least in the sense I still love you, but that's just how I feel. But I'll always be here if you want some fun, Ragnar. You think I'd say not to this magnificent thing currently inside me?"

I resumed fucking her, feeling her legs tighten around me, urging me on to go faster. I could feel the need to release rather urgently, lifting her body with mine, burying myself even deeper if possible, causing her to cry out as I drove my cock into her harder and faster still.

Then I erupted inside her, groaning so loudly, they probably heard me all the way in Solitude. Then I needed to relax, using a forearm to prevent squashing Haelga underneath me, her legs and arms still wrapped around me, laying soft kisses on my cheeks before kissing me again.

"Well, I think we both needed that," she said a little later.

"Give me a few minutes to recover, then you're riding me until you cum."

"Ever the gentleman, Ragnar."

It took barely ten minutes for me to be hard again, and considering I'd just cum, I would last much longer. Rolling me onto my back, Haelga wanted to suck my cock first, and I quite happily watched her do it, as she was as talented as ever, ever eager to swallow my length. She wouldn't get a mouthful of cum, but happily sucked away until she was ready to mount me.

Watching her slide down my cock was rather exciting, my Nord goddess feeling back home with my cock inside her. And she happily bounced and grinded away as I grabbed a breast in each hand, giving them gentle squeezes, maybe giving her nipples a tweak. Moving a hand down to her sex, I licked my thumb and gently rubbed her clit. That pretty much set her off and she enjoyed her first climax of the night. But she kept on going, though grabbed my wrist to move my thumb away, insisting her next one would arrive from my cock alone.

Manoeuvring backwards, I was in a seated position so we could make out as she continued to ride me. Running my hands down her back, she was already sweating, not that I cared, particularly as her body language suggested she was approaching a second climax. "Thrust up," she pleaded. I somehow managed to do it from the position I was in. That made her cry out, leaning forward to hold me, breasts pressed into my chest as she cried out into my ear.

"Holy shit, Ragnar!" she said softly once she stopped moving.

"Enjoy yourself?"

She leaned back. "Enjoy myself? I haven't had that good an orgasm in months." After kissing me again, she added, "Want my arse tonight too?"

I smiled but shook my head. "I just want what we're sharing right now. But if you want, we can get into some of the crazy stuff again, if you're interested."

"Definitely."

Hopping off my lap, we settled down together side by side, Haelga spooning against me. A thousand memories came flooding back for me, and I'm sure they did for her too. "I've missed you," she whispered after minutes of comfortable silence.

"I've missed you too."

"And you're welcome anytime you want, Ragnar. Just like before."

"I'm not falling in love again, Haelga."

She turned around to face me, kissing me softly on the lips. "But you still love me?"

"Yes, but..."

Another finger on the lips. "No. You love me. That's all I need to know. We were never going to have what you shared with her. That's why I was... content to let you go. I never wished that..." She sighed. "Anything I say won't sound right. I can't even say I'm glad you're here without it sounding awful."

"How about this? There is only one other person each of us would rather be with. But we can't be with that person, so we find love and companionship with each other."

She smiled. "That works. And the really good sex helps."

"Just good?"

"Great. Superb. Life-changing."

I was soon poking her in the rear, and it only took a slight shuffle for my cock to slide inside her again. She rather liked me holding her in my arms, cuddling and fucking her from behind. Lifting one of her legs over my own, I moved one of my hands so I could fondle her at the same time. "You want me to have another one?" she asked with a chuckle.

"I'm going to cum so you are too."

She suggested we make it a little more comfortable, and a little easier for me to fuck her, so she got on her hands and knees, and I definitely groaned as I slid inside her. Grabbing a handful of her hair, I noticed her smile as I started to pound her, and she quickly dropped onto her forearms, resting on one as her free hand started to fondle herself. "I've missed the feeling of those hands on my hips, Ragnar.

I stopped, still buried inside her, and asking, "Would you like the return of the special room?"

"What about...?"

"I can't keep it forever. That's not healthy. So, as you said, I'll make some new memories."

"If you want to, Ragnar, I won't say no."

I started pounding her again in agreement. All she did was rest on her forearm, looking back in my direction with that gorgeous smile of hers. I hadn't lied to her. I would not fall in love again, but I'd definitely enjoy rekindling my relationship with her. To be honest, I'm just glad everything still worked. I'd been in such a depression; I'd barely taken care of my own physical needs.

And I'd always enjoyed the intimacy I'd shared with Haelga. I'll admit that I hadn't particularly missed it while committed and then married to Muiri, but she had been interested in hearing about the things we'd been up to. My lovemaking with my wife had always been markedly different, as although she was intrigued, we kept it what I would call 'normal'. I'm sure some would probably call that 'boring'.

Warning Haelga I was close again, I could see her shoulder and top of her arm move quickly, so knew she was rubbing herself to orgasm, though I'm confident what I was doing was doing most of the job. She was still bent in such a way so I could watch her face, and I knew she was getting close too.

"On you?" I asked.

She smiled but shook her head. "No. Another time. I want to feel it inside me."

Well, I wasn't going to deny her what she wanted, my hands gripping her even tighter as I started to drive into her even harder. She lowered her body down to the bed, barely lifting her arse up, begging for me to just ruin her. That led to me not lasting more than a couple of minutes before groaning rather loudly, buried myself deep one final time, before I exploded. She kept fondling herself and followed me not long later, and once we were both done, I lowered my body to gently lie on top of hers.

She didn't want that for too long, eventually wanting to flip over onto her back, though as my cock was still relatively hard, had me slide back inside her before wrapping her arms and legs around me again as we continued to make out. It was just like old times, except we were around eighteen or so months older.

"I'd like to fall asleep like this, with you still inside me... Though I'd want you to keep fucking me too!"

I eventually softened enough that we just had to clean up and lie down together again, Haelga spooning into me so I would hold her as tightly as possible. "Ragnar, if we resume our relationship, will you want to be with others again?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Like before, I wouldn't be upset if you were."

"How about this? You will be my only girl in Riften."

"So no Ingun or Karliah?"

"Ingun is a good friend. I've always liked her, but that aspect has long since passed. As for Karliah, I don't think she'd be interested. She's now just a very good, close friend. I think if she or I offered, we'd probably fall into bed immediately, but to be honest, there's a reason why I'm here right now."

"You thought I'd be easy?"

That made me chuckle. "No, not like that. I just figured..."

She leaned back to kiss me. "I'm teasing, Ragnar. I would never say no to restarting what we shared. I knew you just needed time."

"You don't feel... I don't know, like..."

She kissed me again. "Never. I knew you ended it with heavy heart to begin with. And, more importantly, Ragnar, I knew you were in love. It would have been incorrect of me to somehow make you break your word to Muiri."

We fell asleep and woke up in the same position, the first time I woke up with a woman in my arms for months. Despite waking with a raging erection, I admitted I just wanted to enjoy the feeling of continuing to hold her, as I was remembering all the little details of her body. Her spectacular arse and legs. Soft skin. Soft, perfect breasts that I may give a gentle squeeze. Long blonde hair that still had that scent of flowers I remembered. Blue eyes that looked into mine, and I could see the same feelings in them, as if we'd never spent time apart.

As I said, she had been, was again, and perhaps always would be my Nord goddess.

Eventually having to get up, we dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast. Svana was friendly as always, stating she was glad to see me back in the Bunkhouse after so long. She sat down next to me once she had served Haelga and I, and I wrapped an arm around her in thanks. "Will you be visiting often?" she wondered.

Looking across at Haelga, who couldn't help smile and blush, I said, "I think I'll be a regular visitor. That's if Haelga isn't at my place. The only proviso will be if I'm in Riften or not."

"Will you have reason to be away?"

"I need to resume my life. I've spent three months moping around my house. It's time to do something. I'm just not sure what."

"Any ideas?"

"Just the one. I had an offer a while back. I've been thinking about it for some time."

"What sort of offer?" Haelga wondered. I just shook my head. "I don't want to know?"

"Well, I haven't exactly been doing much regarding my other... 'job' since I was married. Doubt I'll start doing that again. I'm still the boss, still take my cut, but others are now running it, and they are still abiding by my rules, as far as I know. But I received a job offer regarding something else I've proven rather adept at. I might see where that goes."

"Will that take you away from Riften often?"

I could hear the longing in Haelga's tone. She wanted me around all the time. "Hopefully not. But I could be away from time to time. It will depend on if I actually take the offer, though I'll insist I won't be moving. I'll probably head off in the next few days and see if the offer is still available."

Between that day and leaving for Falkreath, which I did at the end of the week, I made some changes to Riftweald. I bought a chest and started storing the personal effects and mementoes Muiri had bought, and the little things that reminded me of her. I couldn't get rid of everything. I would want to open the chest occasionally and look at things. But the nursery was an open wound, and I finally emptied that out, giving away most of the things for free, most things to the local orphanage. I bought a new bed, as I couldn't share the same bed I'd shared with my wife with another person. To me, that just didn't seem right. Plus, the bed held far too many memories. I should have thrown it out long ago, but in my mind, I could still feel her presence when I went to sleep each night. Her clothing... A few things went in the chest, but I sold or gave away nearly everything else.

I moved the chest under the new bed, where it would stay, not forgotten, but I wouldn't open it too often. I moved everything around in the bedroom, and also downstairs, giving the place a sense of 'newness'. Aranea walked in one day to see me changing everything around, immediately stepping in to help, realising what I was doing and why. When we were finally done, she hugged me as I released the final bit of grief I still held deep down inside me, her words nothing but soothing, again understanding what was happening.