OK, I have a weird job. I'm a plumber and I've been one all my life, working with my dad and my uncles. The union is pretty tight and I basically inherited the job as my family legacy. But I have to admit that I don't mind it at all; over the years I've built up a very specialized clientele. I'm not the guy you call when your toilet's backed up or your wife's hair has clogged up the drain in the shower. But if you have to have a killer toilet exploding under Bruce Willis' ass in a movie, I'm the guy you call. Well, I've done a lot of movies but most of my work is photo shoots, videos, and commercials. A lot of my work comes from Playboy Enterprises and I even have a crew for all the tub and shower scenes they do.
A while back I got called to set up a tub for a shoot; they were very specific: they wanted the tub to be gold, to be one of those old fashioned claw jobs, and big enough for two people to fuck in. Well, the art director didn't say 'fuck' but she was pretty clear about what the model was demanding. We had a good piece to use even though it was a pain in the rear to paint it gold, but they were paying enough. You probably already know this but in order to get the models looking sexy in the suds you have to build in a platform inside the basin so their bodies are lifted up to the surface of the water. Over the years we've worked out a nice gadget that is comfortable for the girl and is not too visible in the camera.
Somehow this was a busy week for us so I had to crew this gig myself; like I said I usually just handle the big jobs and send my staff out to these little photo shoots, but it's lucky I was there this time 'cause it turned out to be a big job in a lot of ways.
All these shoots are union labor so none of the grips could even help me unload the heavy tub off the truck. I hired a couple of kids to meet me early on Monday morning and they were to come back three days later for the load-out. Never tell them they're helping at a playmate shoot or they'll hang around all week. The art director and photographer were already inside and once the tub was in place they started on their lights and stuff. I have a whole set of portable pipe systems I'd developed so it was a snap to get the tub in operating order. The suds were somebody else's department. Once I was done all I had to do was stand by in case of trouble. Usually there's no trouble but I had no idea what I was in for.
It's sad to say but once you've done a few of these shoots the idea of working with beautiful nude models becomes kind of old. Sure you look, but it's a job and not too sexy really. Everybody's working. This time was different.
When Anna Nicole Smith stepped out of her dressing room everybody stopped and stared. She was tall, taller then a lot of guys in the room, and her figure was a collection of curves and shapes that looked like a map of the history of sex. She came out completely nude and her pale body seemed to absorb all the light in the room. She was all juicy flesh, soft and creamy, and her skin seemed to ripple as she strutted forward, every inch of her looked meaty and delicious; her body looked like the last stop you'd ever want to make, so smooth and silky, so warm and moist. Her breasts were gigantic and moved on their own; as she boldly walked on to the set they rolled around as if they were waving to me and inviting me over, me and the rest of the crew. And there was plenty of her to go around. Yeah, I know that later on she gained a few pounds but what I saw that day was grade A, number one perfect. Anna Nicole was the New Years Eve partly of the millennium packed in a tight ball of endless sweet flesh.
She made a great show of lowering herself into the water and squealed gleefully as her fine round ass dipped into the warm water. What can I say, I'm an artist. They were shooting the whole time and Anna Nicole preened and posed seductively. And it was amazing. Her eyes were focused on the camera lens but she seemed to be coming on to every person in the room. Even the art director had a misty look in her eyes. Guys who had worked with just about every playmate for the last decade had hard-ons for this babe.
The problem came when the male model came on. You could feel the whole crew tensed up. Apparently there had been trouble last week when they had been doing some other shots on a different set. Anna Nicole's attitude changed real fast; suddenly the water was too cold, the lights too hot, the guy had bad breath, she wanted a snack, on and on and on. I had paper work to do anyway so I went to the other end of the studio, but soon I could hear her screaming and complaining about everything. I winced when she yelled at the model, "What's the matter, can't you get it up? Don't you like girls? Are you queer or something?"
