Dirty Deeds of Dic Dragonbone

A fantastically fictional adventure in celebrity erotica.

A Young Man Seeking His Path To Honor, Glory, & Sexual Prowess,

On His Quest For Knighthood & To Get Laid,

He Will Need Help Along The Way.

With

Brie Larson as The Fighter

Elizabeth Olsen as The Witch

Hayley Atwell as The Healer

Taylor Swift as The Bard

Babes, Bumpkins & Baddies Await In...

The Dirty Deeds of Dick Dragonbone

*****

Author's Note: Thanks to MrMaxLord for his feedback!

Chapter Four: Sparring & Spurting

Starring Brie Larson

Codes: MF, Cunnilingus, Creampie, Femdom, Oral

*****

"Alright Dick. Show me what you got." Brie said with supreme disinterest as she leaned against the trunk of a large tree, cleaning dirt from under her fingernails with the point of a dagger. "Just go through your forms."

Swallowing the rather large lump in his throat, he adjusted his already sweaty grip on

Thrust

. Alone and isolated, they were a good deal away from camp. The other party members were occupied with responsibilities and chores, or in the case of Taylor and Lizzie, each other. Leveling his sword at an imaginary foe, he settled into

Dragonstance

and jabbed forward like the head of a striking serpent. From there he continued the complicated sword dance that he had practiced his entire life, all beneath his father's stern and unforgiving gaze.

Strike. Parry. Slash. Slash. Strike. Dodge. Parry. Strike. Repeat.

The repetitive motion was soothing. His usually busy mind, always buzzing like a swarm of angry bees, quieted as he went through the motions, losing himself in the swordplay. Before he even realized it, he was finished. Just like that. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he looked over at Brie, trying not to look too much as if he was desperately seeking her approval. She, on the other hand, was looking pleasantly surprised. Shocked even. The dagger lay limply in her hand, its task forgotten.

"That actually...that wasn't too bad Dick. Your technical form is surprisingly adequate. Form will only get you so far though. Lesson number one: There's no such thing as honor or form when your life is on the line. Do whatever it takes to win. Remember that. Now, let's see how you handle a real fight." With the final word, Brie stuck her dagger into the tree and kicked up one of two long slender branch she had cut before the start of the session.

Tossing it in his direction, Richard fumbled to catch it, dropping

Thrust

in the process. The shining sword sank deep into the earth. Scrambling to get a firm grip around the stick, Brie was already charging with her makeshift weapon. A blindingly quick lash *THWACKED* him hard on the ribs. Another followed suit, striking his sword hand. Cursing loudly, he dropped the branch.

"By the six heavens and nine hells Brie! That hurt!" He yelled, shaking his hand in pain.

"You think that hurts? If this were a sword, you'd be stuck like a pig with a bleeding stump for a hand. Dead. Now, get your wood up and come at me again."

Grumbling nonsensical words, he turned around, reaching down to grab his stick. A sharp *SMACK* landed square across his ass. Swearing again, he scrambled around quickly, facing Brie and stumbling a little in the process.

"You like that fucker? Guys usually pay extra for that kind of treatment." She grinned, viciously mocking him. "Never turn your back on an opponent! Come on. At me. Again!"

Richard charged again, now fully flustered and swinging wildly. Brie easily parried, dodged to the side and stuck out a foot to successfully trip him. Falling forward, the branch flew from his hands as they uncontrollably flailed. Failing to catch himself, he landed face first, getting a mouthful of dirt and leaves.

"Rookie mistake. I got under your skin and you wanted that one too much. And as a result, you overextended." Brie said from above him, pushing her stick into the back of his neck. "Dead. Again. Come on. Get up and come at me again."

Richard sighed, dusting himself off, and accepted the hand Brie offered to help him up as he prepared for another round.

***

The remainder of sparring went about as well as you would have expected. Brie kicked his ass. Figuratively and literally. When the sun was high overhead, its rays peeking through the thick canopy of leaves, she finally called it quits.

"As far as first days go. You did alright, Dick." She said, wiping the merest trickle of sweat from her blonde brow.

"Thank. You." He said, huffing and puffing with exhaustion as he clumsily searched for a tree to lean on so he might catch his breath.

"Now, I like to end every sparring session with a bit of wrestling. You know. Some bodywork to go with the sword play."

"Uh huh..." Richard said, not listening as he greedily gulped down air. Then her words hit him a moment before she did. "Wait. What?"

He was answered with a rugby tackle as Brie flew through the air and fully knocked any remaining wind out of him before pinning him to the leaf strewn ground. In two seconds flat, she had him in an unbreakable hold as she pushed her entire lean yet surprisingly curvaceous body against him.

"Come on Dick! At least make it hard for me!" Brie said, fighting to keep the mirth dripping from her voice.

Those were an unfortunate choice of words as Brie had one of her thighs shoved between his legs, wedged up directly against his crotch. That and her deceptively large boobs were smothering him. The soft jiggly flesh was a welcome contrast to the hard ground. She did after all only have a thin cotton overshirt on. He'd been distracted by them bouncing around more than once during their sparring session. Now he could even feel her nipples slowly hardening from the friction against his cheek. Struggling to break free, he slid his groin back and forth across her thigh, and unbidden, unwarranted, the gentle rubbing sent something powerfully stirring to life within his trousers.

Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no. He thought to himself, desperately trying to calm himself down. Not now! Stop it! Think of anything else! Anything! Come on Richard! Don't embarrass yourself anymore! Don't think about her big tits! Oh, goddessdamn it!

Alas, his attempts quiet his excitement proved as fruitless as his attempts to break free of Brie's hold.

"What in the nine hells is poking me down there? You got a scabbard or something on your belt?" She asked, the laughter dying away as she shifted her bodyweight to get a good look at his crotch and did a full-blown double take.

There was an extended silence before she let him go and he flopped fully onto the ground for what seemed the umpteenth time that day.

"The fuck is that, Dick? Between your legs. That's not...do you have a boner right now?"

"N-n-n-no." He stammered, scrambling backwards and sheepishly trying to cover up the frankly huge erection with both hands and failing miserably.

"Lemme see that." Brie said, grabbing hold of his belt and pulling him towards her with ease.

Placing a hand on Richard's crotch, she gave it a hard squeeze. The sensation made him positively throb with pleasure, making his erection grow larger than ever.

"By the Goddess. Fucking huge. Taylor was right." Brie said, sounding flabbergasted. "I thought she was being a bit generous when she said you were hung like a goddessdamn dragon. I should have known. When she can pry herself from between Lizzie's legs, she does like 'em big. And Lizzie? Well, Lizzie said you were tiny. Should've known she was fuckin' with me."

"S-S-S-sorry Brie." He mumbled, thoroughly and utterly humiliated. "It somet-t-t-times has a mind-d-d-d of its own."

"Sorry? What in the hells for?" She asked looking in disbelief. "With a piece like that, we can finish up sparring in a whole different way!"

"It's not very prof-f-f-fession-wait what-t-t?!?" Richard asked, his jaw nearly hitting the ground in shock as he ogled her, sure he had misheard.

With a hard shove, Brie pushed him flat on his back and straddled his waist. Grinning slyly at him, she gyrated her hips around, feeling the massive dick twitch and struggle as it sought to free itself from his trousers.

"You know how to use this thing? Or is it like your sword work?" She asked teasingly.

"I'm-I'm-I'm not a virg-g-gin if that's what you mean...but..."

"You're not? Could'a fooled me." She said cutting him off and yanking his pants down. Pulling his cock along with his trousers, when it sprang free it flew back and slapped him above the bellybutton before coming to rest in an upright and locked position. Pants around his ankles, Brie's mouth actually fell open as she gazed upon it in all its veiny glory.

"Goddessdamn, Dick. Not bad. Not bad at all..." Brie said, trailing off before she stood up just long enough to remove her own pants.

Watching with bated breath, Richard's eyes grew wide as she peeled her sweaty self out of her trousers. Long toned muscular legs lead up a round and supple ass. She didn't have underwear on. It only helped to further cement his throbbing erection which was jutting upwards from his groin like a pillar of marble.

Mouth dry and heart pounding, he could not take his eyes off her exquisitely pink pussy with a landing strip of wiry blonde just above it. It was just a shade darker than her dirty blonde hair, pulled back into its usual bun. He watched as it got closer and closer, until it was directly above him, blocking out the dappled sunlight. Not realizing what came next, he was more than a little startled as the vision of pussy suddenly descended and he was smothered by thigh, groin and asscheek alike.

"There we go Dick." She said, as his legs kicked out and jerked in surprise at the sudden lack of air. "If we're gonna fuck, you gotta warm me up a little first."

"MHHM-MMHM-MHMM!!!" Dick's muffled cries rang out from between her thighs as she slowly gyrated her hips, grinding her pussy back and forth across his face.

"Come on man. Use your tongue. Lips. Something!" Brie said, growing frustrated and grinding hard to ensure some modicum of pleasure for herself.

Mouth awash with the primal musky taste of a woman for the first time, Richard inhaled her tangy scent, mixed with a healthy amount of sweat. While technically not a virgin, he had never tasted a woman like this before or done anything of the sort. He found himself loving it. The fact that he could barely breathe only made it better. The taste against his lips, the smell filling his nostrils, it was all incredibly intoxicating. A fact made all too apparent by his already massively hard cock stiffening even more. Tongue darting out, he blindly felt around her labia before finding the source of honeyed nectar and burying it to the hilt.

"That's it. Good boy." She said, actually letting out a small groan of satisfaction as he tongue-punched her box.

His writhing and wriggling tongue, swiped at any and everything it could, but it didn't make up for the fact that just about all the air in his lungs was gone. He was in imminent danger of being smothered to death. Well, there were certainly worse ways to go out. Hands blindly searching out, they found that magnificent peach and frantically tapped it, trying to convey his impending suffocation. Brie got the message instantly, but she stayed there for another moment or two before relenting and lifting herself off him, just an inch or two.

"GGGAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Richard yelled as he sucked in a great gasp of air.

Looking above him, he thought now was the point they would move on. He was mistaken. Allowing him just a couple of breathes; she sank back down, her dribbly lips now pressed directly against his own pair. Those muscular toned thighs squeezed tight around his head, drowning out any and all sound from the forest around them. His tongue shot out again, directly into her love canal. Another satisfied grunt sounded from Brie, but he wasn't quite in the exact right spot. Grabbing his hair, she angled his head until she found just the right position and then really began to grind her hips directly upon his face. She held him like that for quite the long while, and when she reluctantly released him, it was only because he was clamoring for air again.

"Well, that was ok Dick. We'll work on it. If you don't improve, you'll be eating out my sweaty ass instead. Anyways, now for a ride." She said, standing up tall and moving over to squat just over his cock.

A gentle breeze flowed through the clearing, cooling the combination of arousal, saliva and sweat on his chin and cheeks. Grabbing hold of the broad base, she lined up the pillar of marble perfectly with her pretty pink snatch. He gulped loudly. Still as a statue and stiff as a board, he watched her glistening pubic mound inch closer and closer to his anxiously awaiting cock. While his other sexual exploits with the rest of the party had blown his mind. This was sex. Like, full on penetration. He was more than a little excited about it. Nervous too. Definitely nervous. Ok, mostly nervous.

As the big broad mushroom cap teased her velvety slit, he audibly groaned, willing her to sink down upon it. Instead, Brie teased him slowly while looking smugly on. She enjoyed the way his jaw clenched, how his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his legs twitching with anticipation all while she teased his head with her sopping wet labia. In one rapid motion, she sank down to the thick meaty hilt. His legs kicked out as his toes curled. He gasped with pleasure as his throbbing flesh sword snugly filled up her pussy sheath. It felt so good he almost came right then and there.

"Oh, Goddess! Fuck me! That's a big dick!" Brie cried out, her voice echoing around the clearing as her inner walls stretched to accommodate the frankly enormous cock inside of her.

For just a moment, she sat there, allowing herself a brief respite to get accustomed. Then she started moving her hips. Richard let out a long low-pitched primal groan as she began riding in earnest.

"It's nice. Right?" She asked, that self-satisfied smirk back on her face. "I've never heard a complaint before."

"So. Good." Richard hissed through gritted teeth, savoring the intense feeling of her exquisite pussy squeezing his cock.

He didn't know where to put his hands, so he grabbed onto her waist, but Brie had other ideas. She wrenched them off her with her powerful arms and slammed them above his head into the hard ground, leaning forward as she did so, her big titties smothering his face as she held him in place. He could feel her hard nipples bump his cheek from beneath her thin undershirt as she moved her hips.

"You stay there Dick. Don't. Fucking. Move." She said with a snarl, lip curled and everything.

Hot wet warmth bathed his entire expansive shaft. Each inch exposed as she rose was just as quickly sucked back in with a velvet vice-like grip. Taking him to the hilt once more, Brie's face twisted in concentration and Richard felt her twat constrict even tighter, making him positively howl with pleasure. It was the six heavens, even though he found himself once more pinned against the hard ground. There was only one problem. It felt good. Too good. Richard was already fighting against the rising tide brewing in his big olde balls, roaring to be let out.

"Oh yea, Dick. That's it. Hitting deep now. Mhmm." Brie said, moving faster now, her hips rising and falling with ever-increasing speed and force.

She released her iron like grip on his wrists and sat up straight. He left them there above his head, afraid that if he touched anywhere on this muscular blonde goddess, he would end up back in the same position. Both her hands splayed out against his chest, fingernails digging into his skin beneath his own loose cotton undershirt. Looking up, he locked eyes with her. Another mistake. All he saw in those light brown beauties was a pure carnal hunger. It made him throb and twitch even more violently inside of her.

"B-B-Brie!" He stammered out. "I'm gon-n-n-na cum!"

"Already?" She asked, looking on in total disbelief. "Hold it! Damn it! We've only just started!"

Richard cast his mind to anywhere but here. Sheep counting. Knights jousting. Even his elderly grandmother knitting, but it was all no use. Nothing worked. He only had to glance upwards and see Brie's absolutely banging body bouncing above him, her massive milkers swinging wildly with just the slightest delay of the rest of her.

"C-C-Can't! Sor-r-r-ry! C-C-C-Cumming!" He blurted out, his words turning into a long guttural groan.

Twitching powerfully inside of her, Brie rolled her eyes and sank down to the base and held firm there, watching his face twist and contort with the feeling of imminent explosion nigh. A colossal eruption surged forth from his churning balls, blasting out the tip and sending searing heat blooming deep inside her. The walls of her pussy were layered with wave after wave of thick sticky spunk. So much so that as he continued cumming, it began to forcefully spurt out of her. Momentarily blacking out, Richard unloaded for what felt like several minutes, but was probably only thirty seconds or so, before he was finally spent and his balls were empty. Opening his eyes to the bright sunlight, he saw Brie's bemused expression above him.

"We'll have to work on that too Dick." She said with a sly grin as more cum continued to slop out of her.

***

Richard and Brie sparred together just about every day after that. And yes, afterwards when they were finished, they would fuck too. Spurting deep inside her, Brie refused to be anywhere but on top. Richard certainly wasn't complaining.

Days turned to weeks as they moved across Boobania, looking for work wherever they could find it. Much to his own surprise, Richard found himself improving at a rapid pace. During their sparring sessions, he'd quickly come to land multiple hits and even win one or two bouts. His stamina was improving as well. His sexual stamina that is. No more was he in imminent danger of cumming the moment he entered her. He'd last a good long while now before blowing everything he had deep into her. And once, he would have sworn on the Goddess herself that he made her cum. She promptly denied it, of course. But those pink flushed cheeks, clumsy fumbling drool-laced tongue and glazed over gaze told a different story.

Still, there was one lesson Brie could not impart, no matter how many times she tried too. There is a big difference between practice and the real thing.

***

"It's an ambush. Of course..." Brie said, almost sounding resigned to the fact. "Circle up and watch our asses."

As if in response, six more men materialized from the trees around them. That was ten in total. Twice their number. Beefy. Burly. Tough and brutal looking. Dirt clung to their skin and their armor, but their weapons were clean and sharp. The assumed poachers were eyeing the beautiful babes of the would-be adventuring band with a mixture of disbelief and mirth. It wasn't the first time they'd been underestimated and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

They were deep in the Queen's Bush, tracking this very group of would-be poachers. These woods belonged to the Queen, and were reserved for her exclusive use. She didn't use them for hunting though. Instead, the rumor was that on the Vernal and Autumnal equinoxes, she would host tremendous orgies to please the pagan deities of both land and sky. Whether that was true or not, they'd scored a big contract from some flouncy noble to track down this motley crew and deal with them. Right now, though, it was looking like they had bit off a little more than they could chew.