Sunday, July 21, 2013
I was in a hurry more than usual as I ate my breakfast in the outdoor dining area. I even cut down on jacking off from Scarlett, since I wanted to eat fast and get in line for my last Comic Con panel.
Of course, I forgot that when I saw someone familiar eating nearby. This time, it happened to be geek favorite Olivia Munn. I'd seen her around the convention a bunch of times, but I'd been too occupied to greet her.
I pondered whether I had to time to greet her now – although 'greeting' celebrities had worked well lately. But I stopped myself from thinking that far. Not because I was still timid or that I wouldn't want to do more than 'greet' Olivia, but because there wouldn't be time.
However, if I didn't waste any more time thinking to myself, there might be time for a regular meet and greet. Heck, it might even be funny to have one signature from someone who didn't bang me later. What else could I do but laugh?
Resolved to just laugh, I got up, took out my ever present pen and notepad and headed to Olivia's table. She was sitting alone, wearing a flattering white shirt and jeans, but I didn't need to get bogged down in that. "Hi," I got her attention. "Do you mind?"
Once she saw my pen and pad, she responded, "No, sure, of course not." I took that to be a yes and handed her my tools – writing tools. As it predictably turned out, she turned to the page with both Scarlett and Cobie's signatures. "Wow, you got lucky already," Olivia commented.
I forced my face to stay still, or at least not blush, but it didn't work completely. "Yeah, I guess so," I admitted halfway. "In fact, I'm hoping to get luckier today," I went on to change the subject, although getting "luckier" today didn't need to sound dirty, for my sake.
But after leaving that kind of hint, I had to clear it up a little, so I explained, "I'm actually trying to eat fast and get to the Community panel. Welcome back Dan Harmon and all." Olivia nodded in understanding as she signed my pad, and then I lit up and realized, "And see one of your old co-stars too!"
I had a long and obscure memory – at least in some areas – to remember this. But so did Olivia, as she deduced, "Ah, you're anxious to see Alison."
That would be beyond obvious to her if she hadn't just met me. Yet in spite of all the sexy actresses I met and.....met this weekend, I was still anxious just to see Alison Brie at the Community panel. Maybe it was a sign that I was with someone who co-starred with her, and her boyfriend, in a recent "Funny or Die" Internet short.
"Yeah, I am," I admitted to Olivia. "It's natural to feel anxious over your biggest celebrity crush. At least I assume."
That might have bordered on too much information, especially to a stranger. Those who knew me and had spying powers might wonder why Alison was still my biggest crush, even after my multiple encounters. But I had my answer from watching Community for four years [and loving it for three] and watching other examples of how ridiculously gorgeous Alison was, from top to bottom – not to mention the center.
"No, that sounds right," Olivia played along. I imagined she heard more....detailed stuff about her from fanboys over the years. Which was well earned in my opinion, although the most I'd seen of her until today was in "The Newsroom" – as Aaron Sorkin's only semi-competent female character on most weeks. But there were those leaked, ultra-graphic sexting messages from her a few years back....
I was wise enough not to bring up either memory to her. And I was disproportionately rewarded when Olivia said, "You know, I still text with her. I can let her know you'll be there."
"You what?" I asked, too prematurely to use good grammar. I recovered and asked better, "You'd do that?"
"Well, I'll need to send her a picture too. In case I don't describe you that vividly." She got out a cell phone and asked, "Do you mind?"
"No, not at all," I answered, then Olivia got up and stood next to me. She held up her phone in front of us, then we smiled as she took our picture together. Once it sank in, I remembered that for everything I did with Yvonne, Cobie and Scarlett – I never remembered to get a picture with them.
"One more for mine?" I quickly asked. Olivia didn't go anywhere as I got out my phone, stayed next to her and aimed it at us. I got my finger in the right place, then impulsively decided to put my free arm around her. Yet she stayed still as I got a picture for my own personal use.
Once I saw my photo came out okay, Olivia showed me that hers – the one she was going to send Alison – did too. "Wow. Now I really have to make that panel," I realized, then nearly rushed back to scarf the rest of my food. But I was courteous enough to thank Olivia first, then I went back and just took a few big bites before leaving my food behind.
The karma Gods gave me one last break for that, as I made the panel and got a pretty good seat. Which meant I wasn't too far away from the cast, their fired/rehired boss Dan Harmon – or Alison.
She had on a dark blue outfit that showed a fair amount of leg, but didn't cling extremely tight to her supple chest. But she still displayed her big, bright smile, sparkling blue eyes, cascading brunette hair, weird sense of humor in giving Ken Jeong a wet willie at the end, and reassuring words for fans about next season.
I hadn't had my fill quite yet, so when the panel was over, I stood outside the hall with the crowd for autographs and pictures. I was too focused to get any from the other cast members, which I would kick myself for later. For this moment, I waited patiently for Alison.
When she came out, I waited on edge for her to get to me. Once she got closer, turned her head and caught my eye, her large eyes seemed to get wider.
If this wasn't a sign that Olivia kept her word, I really was pathological. However, I was let off the hook when Alison got in front of me and said, "Hi."
"Did Olivia...." I asked, in lue of a hi or a fanboy gush. Nevertheless, Alison nodded and confirmed everything. Yet now that I had my moment, I actually had to perform it. "Well, um, I don't want to keep them waiting."
I handed over my notepad and pen, trusting her to sign while I got my phone set up for our picture. Once I was set, Alison handed back my materials, then stood shoulder to shoulder with me as I lifted up the phone. My free hand was full with the pad and pen and every second counted, so I couldn't touch Alison, although the perfect picture would have to do.