Walking briskly back toward the stage, Christina used the surge of adrenaline building with every breath, every step taken, to mask her nervousness for what this last encore of her show would bring.
Sheâd planned to make this gig the one where all this slow build-up of upstaging on video would end â by doing live what they were all angling toward, but had not yet dared accomplish. And by all, she meant Britney, Kylie and certainly Danni â definitely BeyoncĂ©, Sophie â and of course the artĂste formerly known by her real name, Jennifer. Madonna she didnât consider to be a part of this particular little war for votes, as sheâd set the scene long before all this began â pretending all the same, but not in the way these others were â and Christina had respect for that statement, because sheâd only been upstaging herself.
But now that Victoria was trying to make a come-back by muscling in on the teasing game, sheâd decided to make her stand, and beat every last one of them to the draw â along with their conniving labels and in-house artistic directors. They all seemed to be working it together, orchestrating the whole in timed releases of build-up over the year, ready for the big finale. Sheâd had that feeling for a while, and been certain once one of them had approached her a few days after that kiss â the less publicised one of the two at the awardâs show.
Climbing the steps up to the stageâs rear, she could physically feel the crowdâs roar of anticipation vibrate her blood, their response to the lights dropping back to black.
This is it!
Concentrating on the stage-crewâs guide light showing her the safest route, she wove her way to the opening spot, feeling the music as it rose, filling the place. It was a new number that sheâd written especially for this performance, and despite its simplicity, it held all that characteristic promise of raw power and emotion within its delivery â just needing a tempo shift to change from pussy-cat, to Tiger.
The crowd seemed to be loving it, many of them by now quite used to her style shifts and ways of finding further outlets for continued and different expression â
well, theyâll certainly love this oneâŠ
Settling into place with time to spare, she put the nerves and worries away from her, by switching over to the persona for the song.
This oneâs for you Avril, with your sweet April heart, and Pink for keeping it raw â this way they wonât try to get to you too, when the ratings mysteriously sag, and spoil the future youâre building.
The lights rose softly in accordance with the music, blue-tinted and suggestive of early daylight â a spot came on more strongly, angled low and lighting her with warm golden light â the sunâs first rays. She was sat back in the wide open mouth of a long, soft and comfortable sofa â she had though about, then discarded the use of a bed as this was to be a nod to Madonnaâs own performance, but not a copy. Clothed in a tight leather vest and loose, white harem-pants with no footwear. She looked into herself deeper, and began to sing.
This night is sooo very longâŠ
Her head sank down, setting the mood of the scene for the stilled audience.
And I ah-mmmh - so weary.
Lifting her head by slow increments, she paced each line with feeling.
Time does not be-long, without you here,
In my wh-oorld, anymore.
No â not since I saw you-uu there.
The tempo around her picked up a beat, and her eyes looked out, locking onto the middle-distance.
A moment of grace, I have been granted.
A gift that made me feel so want-ed.
And thoâ no kiss from you has been, on me planted,
I am on fire from that look, aloneâŠ
But now I ah-mmh so weary,
Time does not belong, without you hereâŠ
âŠin my world, anymoreâŠ
âŠno â not since I saw you there.
She lifted her posture up, arching her body forward â taut and bow like, legs opening slightly in counterbalance, as she closed her eyes, thinkingâŠ
now it begins
âŠher voice gained full power of emotion.
Sleepless I have been, home on my own,
Wishing my touchâŠ
âŠHer hands slid with characteristic boldness down alongside her breasts and ribs, continuing, slowing, lower towards her still slowly opening legsâŠ
âŠwas not mine alone.
Hands coming together she cupped herself lightly there, holding the pose without moving for two beats â eyes still closed and hearing the audienceâs response swell with approval, and counterpoint rebel-yells of encouragement cutting high above it all.
She let a small smile flicker on and off her face â then began moving her hands, touching herself with subtle but direct motion through the fabric, allowing none of that fake-coyness or fleeting suggestion to enter the act, like that always seen on the current videos, even some of her own earlier ones.
Standing with abrupt energy, she ripped the special harem pants off stripper-style, leaving herself stood proud in just a tiny thong and the vest under a sudden flare of lights, practically naked before her biggest audience to date.
The crowd roared its loudest yet, and with slow deliberation, she hooked the slip forward with her right thumb, and slid her left hand ever so slowly insideâŠsavouring the moment.