(This series is pure fantasy. Please enjoy it as such.)
The popularity of our Celebrity Sexfight series has exceeded my expectations. We went from reality TV stars, getting girls from shows like Survivor and Storage Wars, to a bunch of A-list celebrities, like Kelly Ripa, Emma Stone, Anna Kendrick, Kaley Cuoco, Miley Cyrus, Sarah Silverman, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kate Hudson, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.
More and more stars were lining up to be a part of the hottest thing that was sweeping the nation. Subscriptions to our website were going through the roof, and our weekly live shows were selling out months in advance.
We had a long list of current and former stars that were willing to bare all for our kinky game. One name that stood out was Paris Hilton. I didn't think there was any way the hotel heiress would want to be part of our kinky sexual games. I don't think she could stay away from the spotlight.
She said she would only agree to perform if she could have one of her best friends along with her. She specifically asked for Kim Kardashian. I thought it would make for a great matchup, and had no problem getting Kim signed up.
There were certain stipulations. They wanted a more intimate setting, similar to Anna Kendrick and Emma Stone's bedroom scene. Paris was reluctant to do any kind of nude or pornographic scenes, never having fully recovered from the backlash of her sex tape that was leaked years ago.
They were hoping to do something like a playful pillow fight, wearing sexy lingerie.
It wasn't what I was hoping for, obviously. I would have preferred that they stick to our usual format, an actual sexfight with kinky consequences.
However the thought of these two beauty queens in a sexy pillow fight on a large bed, wearing sexy Victoria's Secret lingerie, was too good to pass up. I booked the fight and made arrangements to get the set built, with a king-size bed and plenty of pillows. I also told the crew to make sure there would be an assortment of sex toys available on the nightstand, in case Paris & Kim wanted to have a little extra fun.
When time came to have the actual match, it was a completely different atmosphere. The smaller venue had the biggest bed I've ever seen in my life, on stage in front of a studio audience of about forty VIPs, who had reserved seats.
Recent Celebrity Sexfighters Leslie Mann and Sarah Silverman were in attendance, sitting in the front row, along with Cameron Diaz. Cameron hasn't agreed to join us yet, but her appearance tonight gave me the feeling that she was thinking about it.
Before the show began, there was a bit of commotion backstage. There's always the possibility of someone getting cold feet, but tonight was a little different.
Paris Hilton was in the back, standing in a long white bathrobe with her arms folded. She was pissed about something, acting like the prima donna she was famous for. She had a problem with Sarah Silverman being in attendance. Apparently she still held a grudge from Sarah poking fun at her while hosting the MTV Awards show, almost twenty years ago. She said she wouldn't go through with the erotic pillow fight as long as Sarah was in the audience.
We sent security to clear things up. They calmly addressed Miss Silverman, telling her of the situation. The sassy comedian left without making a fuss, but couldn't resist taking a jab at Paris while being escorted out.
"That's too bad. I was really looking forward to seeing the sequel to One Night in Paris", an obvious reference to Paris Hilton's infamous sex tape.
The blonde socialite got her way, and along with her good friend Kim Kardashian, were ready to get the sexy show underway. They walked onto the bedroom set, entering from opposite sides of the room, in their skimpy underwear, meeting at the foot of the bed, where they stared each other down.
Paris had a lacy pink see through babydoll, with matching pink panties visible underneath. She may have been high maintenance, but there was no denying that she looked absolutely beautiful in her sexy negligee.
Kim looked pretty amazing as well. The voluptuous brunette showed off her curvy figure, wearing a low-cut black bra, that showed plenty of cleavage, and a pair of black panties that accented her nice round butt.
At first glance, this matchup looked like it would be one-sided. Tall and skinny Paris going up against short and curvy Kim. I'm not sure if Paris Hilton had the strength to keep up with the Kardashian.
Each girl hopped onto the oversized bed, grabbing one of the many pillows placed by the headboard. There was no trash talking. Paris smiled at her good friend, holding a pillow up, rearing back, threatening to take the first shot. Kim held her pillow up in more of a defensive position, trying to protect herself.
The small crowd was urging them on, with Cameron Diaz being the most vocal, cheering on her fellow blonde.
"C'MON PARIS!!! GO GET HER!!!"
