There is a TV show titled as above but without the Celebrity word, although there are several programmes with the Celebrity prefix. I thought it could be an interesting, maybe humorous story using celebrity names and changing the format from a dating programme with a twist evident in the title, by adding the 'slebs' and very different twist. It's highly unlikely and implausible, but I enjoyed creating it. I have imagined and described intimate details of each of my celebrity selection.
*****
"As you know ladies and gentleman you - the invited audience are her to witness the choice by this lovely man here Jim, the founder and owner of a massive chemical, synthetic oils and plastics to solvents used to produce insulin and antibiotics, the last item a worthy cause, no doubt you will agree..." There was massive applause and hoots of expectations from the carefully selected audience of rich, well known in business and entertainment people., she continued..." His choice to date a lovely lady and from then on its up to him and his chosen partner, whose legs you can see. Anything strikes you immediately?"
"I can see one immediately Anna," I murmured, my eyes fixed on a pair of shapely muscled, black calfs and purple painted toe nails. The solitary black skinned female. "But quite honestly I'd be quite happy to meet whatever your fee is, to shag you," I added at a low whisper I knew out of mic range, because one of my companies manufactures the damn things..
"Hey Jim, that's naughty, but I won't tell the audience what you said," she giggled, catching my eyes, like 'are you fucking serious?' The well heeled and well pissed crowd bayed. She went on. "You know you can't choose now, not till you've seen every one naked." Much baying and cheering followed.
Anna carried on presenting to the exclusive audience, at least to hide my feelings etc, it wasn't recorded on telly.
"Each one of these lovely ladies have attributes you admire and have stated, so they are matched in some way, is that OK?" I nodded, thinking come on for fucks sake, my Cessna is waiting at London City airport to whisk me to Ireland on business.
I also knew and so did the audience that the three females chosen, were whittled down from my initial selection of twelve. Nearly all the dozen were household names or very recognisable TV and film faces. Anna and I stood in the centre of a gaudy circular set in a nondescript studio set up in a huge industrial shed in Rickmansworth, Herts, UK. Apparently quite a few more risquΓ© reality shows were performed and recorded in it and for tonight, because of the nature of the audience, the producers had created a mock restaurant, to feed and water the baying throng, at huge expense, not to the audience. Everyone had been chauffeured here too.
Anna Richardson presented a lot of those shows and is an attractive, lesbian 47 year old brunette, producer and journalist. She shacks up with another irritating TV presenter Sue Perkins. She was dressed in black slacks, a part transparent white high necked top, her white brassiere straps just visible. She's nicely but not hugely stacked. Her arm was round my waist or on my shoulders a lot. She stank of Dior Sauvage, one of my favourites. My first wife liked it too. To add to the mood appearance I snuck my arm round her waist and top of her butt below her waist band feeling for the top edge of knickers or thong. Non detected so far.
The women not on the programme had either run a mile when discreetly approached, on the basis of - 1) no fucking way, don't fancy him at all, 2) I've got too much to lose 3) politely declined no thanks, 4) how much? I'm worth twice that much, and possibly 6) it's my time of the month. In the case of the latter, it wouldn't have bothered me. My input was purely financial, cash to various charities. Fees designated by the women would be my responsibility and the audience were gambling at their tables on which one I would go for from the three unknown coloured screens. The bets had to be secured and closed when the first reveal was over. There would be three reveals, the first to be the screen rising from base to stomach, very revealing in that genitals would be completely bake naked exposed and might have to swivel to show their butt.
In the TV production, where there are six coloured screens, the contestant (me) would have to eliminate two, then the screen would raise to expose their tits and again, another elimination of two would take place and then, faces and voice would be the final reveal. At point, the contestant (me) would have to leave the screen, strip and return and make the final decision. It's titillating TV on a main channel, but in my case I got to choose the names of the candidates, where as on telly they don't. Now I'm no oil painting, sort of tall, gangly, specs not the best complexion and not the best health...but a fucking billionaire! Prostate cancer visited me then thankfully left after pricey treatment, two of my mates have had their organs removed so with with no erection they can't even have a wank, just doesn't happen. Had a mild stroke two years back and I seem to be firing on all cylinders but of course my money has bought the best possible treatment wherever it is.
"OK Jim, the time is now, are you ready?." Baying and cheers accompany Anna's words. " You're going to see the bottom half of the girls behind the screens and you're going to eliminate one OK?" I nodded and grinned at the noisy drunk crowd. My wife Alicia amongst them.
"Please raise the screen so we can see the bottom half," Anna stated with a gesture, her other hand swiping my hand off it's delicate grope of lower down her arse crack. Through that skirt, no undergarments I determined. I concentrated. Three blurred shadows, at least suggesting their height. The one black woman in the three, I guessed was my top choice for non Caucasian, the others were white women, any nationality, but a big name.
The screens lifted very slowly to an inane audience moan rising in tone, straight off cheap reality telly until the genitals were in full view, enhanced by close ups on four enormous TV screens scattered about the place for the mob and on the monitor Anna and I could see. I hadn't been party to how my details were asked but all three of these certainly had one of my major attributes and it was possible I would see another with this reveal, knowing they'd have to rotate and display their bums. It would have been priceless when they each received the offer and details, to see faces and reactions. Of course priceless to me wasn't an issue and most of theirs, but I bet it was a surprise.
I had to put a price on each candidate in the request and they ranged from Β£50K to Β£1million, depending on my selection. Charity would benefit totally from that of course, two of them Alicia's favourites, this whole fucking crazy idea was hers anyway, cheeky bitch, she is 27 I am 55.
The black cunt on show was very hairy, typical Negro, thick but wiry, but trimmed sideways to be clear of the top of her thighs. She was in the centre screen behind yellow. Her stance was straight on, powerful looking legs together and I couldn't see her slit. Through the semi-transparent screens I could make out all of their heights and I was still favouring yellow even though the other twats were to each side. Of the other attribute I'd listed, the blurred images showed promise. Her main interest to me was a bit of a surprise in that the lower part of her belly was domed very low, was she pregnant?
That could influence my choice, it would be a first.
To her left, behind a red screen, was a taller, slightly pigeon toed stance, with a gap between her thighs, on straight, no ankle, white legs and knotty knees. A fluffy, big, brown, unruly bush was gorgeous but in her case I surmised an older woman and in the gap, there was a suggestion of another of my criteria, dangling, thick pussy lips.
"Impressed so far Jim?" giggled Anna as I stooped slightly to inspect. I am very tall, bit gawky and the height of the albeit raised screens hampered my view...just a touch! Although I was buying a shag with one of them and could hazard a guess which celebrity was behind the screens, I am a full blooded man for fucks sake and wanted to look at any bare naked minge as close as possible.
"Overwhelmed, they're utterly gorgeous Anna," I replied, playing up to the fact we were on a show.
My friends, mates and lets not forget - my wife and other rich people who'd shelled out a load of cash just to watch me squirm and grin, screamed their approval and jealousy.
"What about red Jim, closer look?" she suggested, to which I nodded, the row increased as we stepped forward. I stooped lower, being closer to the lower edge of the screen. I could see she was tallish. Her light brown bush was long through the gap, but not dense and yes another criteria was achieved. Her legs were a little wasted, showing minute wrinkles round the top of her thighs, certainly no spring chicken. Her toes were unpainted.
"Do you like her labia Jim?" just like on TV came the rude question. Howls of disgust surrounded us.