It took about a good three months of solid planning for the Jerk-a-Thon to finally come to fruition. The delays in staging the event were caused mainly by conflicts resulting from the various female celebrities who had to rearrange their ever-demanding schedules. The male performers themselves presented no such problem; all who had accepted the Olsen sister's invitation did so without reservation.
"You know," Mary Kate said to her sister, "I'd rather deal with guys any day. No whining, no complaining, no bullshit." She had just finalized arrangements with the audio/video company who was going to stage their event and had just now hung up the phone with the caterers. "I mean look at this. The guys don't give a shit what they eat as long as there's pizza and beer. But the women! Dom Perignon champagne, caviar, steak... You'd think the greatest show of beefcake on this earth would be enough for them. No. They want to eat like gourmands."
Ashley looked up from her computer screen and shrugged. "So what? The money's all going to charity anyway. What do you care what they eat?"
"I care because it's more work for me. If it were just pizza and beer, it would be easy. Now I have to arrange it like a fucking wedding reception."
"Oh, stop complaining. We should be lucky that most of them are coming in the first place. How many are there anyway?"
Mary Kate threw herself down on the sofa and grabbed a bunch of papers from the coffee table in front of her. The living room looked sparking clean, as did the rest of the house, in preparation of tomorrow's event. She quickly glanced out the rear window overlooking the vast estate and smiled to herself, knowing that the platform put up by the Jerk-a-Thon crew earlier in the week would soon be exhibiting the finest in male flesh.
"So?" Ashley repeated. "How many?"
"Three hundred and fifty-three".
"Are you kidding?"
"Nope. I told you this last night Ash, but you weren't paying attention."
Ashley laughed nervously. "Sorry, I had other things on my mind."
"Yeah, like jerking Justin off. You still won't let him fuck you, will you?"
"Not until I'm married. I told you that."
Mary Kate shook her head. "You are so square."
"Three hundred and fifty-three women," Ashley pondered this figure in her head, ignoring her sister. "How much money have we raised so far?"
"Just over 7.5 million dollars."
"That's fantastic. And we would've been happy with half a million. Holly is going to be thrilled."
"It's a shame she can't make it. But she has an infant to care for now. At least she had no problem with sending Craig over."
"I think next month is their one-year wedding anniversary. We have to get them something."
"Make a note of it on your 'To Do' list. Meantime, let's get some dinner. I think we should both get to bed early tonight. We have a ton of stuff to do in the morning before everyone gets here."
Ashley turned off her computer and she and her sister headed out the door.
************
Logistics had always been Ashley's strength. She was the organizer, the planner. The more staid and demure of the two sisters, she was the one who kept meticulous notes on all aspects of the twins' business enterprises. Nothing escaped her attention. Born only a few minutes before her sister, she nonetheless took on the mantle of the older sibling, with its attendant sense of responsibility and protectiveness. Mary Kate looked up to her and admired Ashley's constant devotion to their burgeoning empire, leaving her with the freedom to pursue her acting career with which Ashley had grown disenchanted. Ashley's interests centered on the fashion world and this is where she now hoped to make her mark.
So it was with no small effort that Ashley now took over the final arrangements of the Jerk-A-Thon, seeing to it that the entire entourage of male performers had been met at LA airport by chauffer-driven cabs and delivered promptly at her doorstep. The first to show up was none other than Joey Balls, who had flown all the way from Wellington, New Zealand in his own private jet. He arrived at the estate just after 10:15 a.m. looking rather happy and refreshed considering the amount of time he had spent flying. And then, almost like clockwork, the line of limos started appearing at the front gate within minutes of each other.
Craig Lundquist and Barney Cole were the first to arrive after Joey, followed by Tom Murphy, King Matumba—with two male and six female tribes people—and the Semenov Septets: Russian dwarf ballet dancers who had become world famous under the tutelage of their stern mistress, Ms. Olga Yeltsin. The last to arrive was Johnny "ET" Adams, a young man of 22 years of age whose moniker had nothing to do with anything extraterrestrial, as Ashley and Mary Kate would soon find out. He had been recommended by Teri Hatcher because of the freakish mutation he possessed. Teri refused to tell the sisters what Johnny's physical peculiarity was, but she assured the girls that they would not be disappointed with his performance.
The sisters greeted everybody warmly and for several minutes they exchanged pleasantries before being directed into the mansion so that they could relax and freshen up. Craig was his usual happy-go-lucky self, talking candidly about Holly and how thrilled he was to be father to a baby girl. Barney, too, seemed at ease, excited to find himself in a position of entertaining groups of women once more, which he had not done since he had left Paris.
Both girls had to refrain from laughing when they saw Joey Balls come striding in the room with his oversized sweatpants, which were needed to accommodate his equally oversized testicles. Ashley had recalled that Joey's remarkable accoutrements were once referred to as "two wonderfully freakish specimens of elephantiasis of the scrotum." But where she heard this she could not remember. Suffice it to say, the little man was quite affable and warm to the twins, who despite their shock at observing his abnormality first hand, had the presence of mind to treat him with the utmost equanimity. His thick Australian accent, which captivated them to the point of distraction, endeared him to the twins.
Tom Murphy was a last-minute choice for the Jerk-A-Thon because his teaching schedule almost precluded him from coming. Just when he thought he would have to pass up performing in the show, his plans had changed and he contacted the sisters to tell them that he was now available. They immediately welcomed his participation, having seen him perform at a friend's house in Massachusetts the previous year. But the truth was that his reason for taking part in the event had more to do with his reputation for being multi-orgasmic than for his association with any particular member of the Sisterhood. Not that it mattered to Ashley or Mary Kate. All they wanted was to showcase the most amazing cum shooters they could find from their collection of videos taken during Sisterhood events of the past five years. It was really as simple as that.
Drew had promised that Anthony Riddle would be in the show, and he did indeed arrive only minutes after everyone else. "Big Anthony" was all smiles as he strode up to the twins, briefcase in hands. When questioned why he was carrying it, he explained that his lawyerly duties could not be neglected simply because he had decided to partake in the Jerk-A-Thon. Initially, he had eschewed taking part in the event because he felt that his former stint as a nude stripper would have negative ramifications upon his new career as a lawyer. Drew's assurances that his participation in the show would be kept secret quelled any misgivings he might have had. For even though the show would be videotaped, the twins had signed an agreement with all the performers, guaranteeing them complete anonymity. He now sat across from Joey, briefcase on his lap, glancing every so often at the twin monstrosities that looked imposing even under the cover of the dwarf's baggy pants.
The Maasai warrior, otherwise known as "King Matumba," whom Mary Kate and Ashley had met the previous year, was stretched out on a small, black, leather couch—his massive frame far too gangly to sit comfortably. His two fellow tribesmen were as tall as he was and just as handsome. They stood on either side of their leader, their heads almost touching the ceiling. All three men were dressed casually in slacks and short sleeve shirts; the tribal outfit the King had worn last year abandoned for the sake of convention. Six beautiful women stood behind the King looking pleasant and self-effacing. Unlike the men, they were adorned in their native dress. All of them were rather tall, from about 5' 9" to 6' in height. It was obvious that the women of Kenya were not on an equal status with their male counterparts, and this was reflected in their deferential attitude toward the three men.
King Matumba introduced his companions as Mbatiany, who stood on his left, and Senteu, both of whom hailed from Kenya and Tanzania, respectively. He indicated the women as part of his harem, but he did not introduce them by name. Neither of the men, nor the women, spoke any English, and when they did speak it was only to their leader and in the Maa language, which was the tribal language of the Maasai people. King Matumba himself had only the most rudimentary command of the language, but it was sufficient enough for him to communicate with his hosts. Even scrunched up as he was on the small chair, he looked every bit like royalty. The only thing that detracted from his regal image was the enormous size of his genitals, which created a prominent bulge that was incapable of being effaced by the simple act of posturing. Like Joey, whose testicles consistently drew attention to him, so it was with King Matumba with his ridiculously humongous organ: it simply could not be ignored.
