By Any Other Name

The following is a work of erotic fiction and includes scenes of sexual activity. It includes characters that are copyrighted by Sherwood Schwartz and ABC Television. This story is intended for the non-commercial enjoyment of fans and should be considered a parody. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from the distribution of this story.

*****

The attractive, long-haired blonde walked down the halls of Westdale High School, seemingly indifferent to the many looks of admiration she drew. Only the small bit of a smile at the corner of her mouth told the truth. That she was more than aware of every set of eyes that turned in her direction as she passed. The simple blouse and skirt she wore couldn't fully hide the figure beneath it, not the nearly perfect medium-sized breasts that drew the attention of those in front of her or the equally sculpted ass for those she'd already passed. She had, she'd always thought, one hell of an ass.

Of course that was never a description anyone would hear coming from her lips. She would leave it to others to use language like that, at least in public. The eighteen year old much preferred people thinking of her as a pillar of the school community, a valued member of the student government, member of the cheerleader squad and former Frontier Scout. As far as anyone knew, Marcia Brady was an All-American Virgin Princess.

In truth though, she hadn't been a virgin for a while, a little fact she'd been very careful to keep from both her parents and just about everyone around her. Having most people think she was unattainable let her be much more selective in picking who got to share her bed. There had only been a handful of boys who'd even got beyond second base with her, keeping with her firm belief that it was quality that counted, not quantity.

She had just about made it to the end of the corridor and the door beyond when a tall, quite handsome young man stepped out from next to his locker and called out her name. Since he was one of those privileged few who's actually seen, and sampled, the tightly trimmed girlhood under her skirt, the teenager stopped for a moment and flashed him a smile.

"Hi Doug," she said in a quiet, lyrical voice.

"Hi Marcia," the dark-haired jock grinned back, "I was hoping to catch you before you went home. How would you like to catch a pizza and movie or something this weekend?"

Marcia's expression didn't change, but she had no doubt as to what 'something' entailed. It had be a little over two weeks since the night she'd gone all the way with Doug Simpson, and she'd spent the last ten days trying to avoid him. The Big Man on Campus, she'd discovered, was anything but. A revelation that had caused her to lose any interest that she'd once had in him. It was only the worry that he might spread it around that she'd done it with him that prevented her from telling him right out. The odds were that no one would believe him, but why take that risk?

"Oh I'm sorry Doug," Marcia replied, putting a touch of regret in her voice as she quickly recalled the excuse she'd given him last weekend. "But this wouldn't be a good week for that," she added in a lower voice, putting extra emphasis on the last word so that not even he would have any trouble understanding what she meant.

"Oh, okay," he said after it sunk in a few moments later, proving that it wasn't pizza or a movie he'd been interested in. "Maybe next weekend then?"

"I think next week wouldn't be good either," Marcia quickly offered. "My brother Greg is graduating and my family is having a party for him. My grandparents are even coming so I have to be home the whole weekend."

Greg, a year older than his sibling, had to make up two classes from his senior year. That now done, he was graduating midyear.

"And I'm going away to Arizona during the intersession," Doug said. "You think that maybe we could get together during the week?"

"Doug, you know my parents don't let me date on school nights," Marcia said apologetically, not meaning a word of it as she stepped around him and quickly moved through the open door that another boy had opened for her.

Racing down the steps, Marcia thought it a shame that Doug had turned out to be such a disappointment. Not counting the night with him, it had been almost six months since she'd been with anyone. And that had just been a blow job she'd given Charlie Anderson on his birthday. Charlie was more friend than boyfriend, but he did a lot of things for her.

It was one of those things that had occupied much of her thinking since her date with Doug. Last week, Marcia had overheard two of her friends in the locker room talking about guys they'd like to do it with. Listening from behind a divider, Marcia was surprised to hear her brother Greg mentioned. Curious, she moved as close as she could to hear the rest of the whispered conversation.

"Greg Brady?" Sally Taylor repeated, you've got to be kidding. "He's one of the biggest turkey's around. Have you ever seen that Johnny Bravo routine he pulls on girls? God, my little brother acts cooler than he does."

"Yeah, he is a total dweeb," Donna Burke agreed, "but he does have one redeeming quality that I'd be able to overlook all that for."

"What's that?" Sally asked, her curiosity no more intense than Marcia's as she tried to move even closer to not miss the answer.

"Well, do you remember that slumber party we had at Rhonda Dee's over spring break," Donna began, "the one where they showed that movie?"

Both Sally and Marcia, who had also been at the party, nodded their heads in unison. Rhonda had gotten hold of one of her father's adult films and all the girls had watched it with great interest.

"You remember the guy in the movie," Donna continued, "the one with the really big..."

"No way," Sally cut her off. "You're telling me that Greg Brady has one that big, you've seen it?"

"No, I actually haven't seen it, but my older brother is in his gym class," she explained. "And I heard him and Billy Smith joking that Brady had a cock like a baseball bat."

"I can't believe it," Sally said.

"I swear, that's what I heard," Donna replied. "I'm almost willing to go out with him just to find out if its true."

"I don't know if I'd be willing to go that far," Sally replied, "but if you do, you will let me know, won't you?"

At that moment, another girl entered the locker room and seeing Marcia called out a hello. On hearing her name, Donna and Sally quickly shifted their topic of conversation away from her brother and onto more safe subjects.

All the rest of the day, and long after, Marcia couldn't get that conversation out of her mind. Few people, Marcia included, wouldn't think it strange for a sister to wonder about the size of her brother's cock. In this case, however, there were special circumstances, and Marcia felt that made all the difference.

True, Greg was her brother, but only by marriage. Up until five years ago, she'd been Marcia Martin, the oldest daughter of Roy and Carol Tyler Martin. Soon after the birth of her youngest sister, Cindy, Roy Martin disappeared and was never heard from again. Years later, after having Roy declared legally dead, Carol had married Mike Brady, a widower with three sons. With a middle daughter, Jan, they had all moved into their new household where each new parent had adopted the other's children, forming what her new father jokingly referred to as "the Brady Bunch."

For the most part, Marcia and the other girls got along great with their new brothers. Greg, Bobby and Peter were roughly the same ages as Marcia, Jan and Cindy and eventually they all got used to having siblings of the opposite sex. Still there were sometimes problems between them, but no more than those natural brothers and sisters had.

Carol Martin, now Brady, considered herself fortunate to have met Mike Brady. Few men, especially those with three kids already, were willing to take on the added responsibility of three more. More than one interested suitor had turned tail and ran when faced with a ready-made family. That Mike was a really nice guy on top of that, was an added bonus.

Marcia remembered another bonus she'd once heard her mother mention to her oldest girlfriend one afternoon when she'd had her over for drinks. One that she'd never have uttered if she'd know any of her daughters were even home, much less within earshot. In confidence, and not without a certain amount of pride, Carol had told her two-time Maid of Honor that her new husband, despite his average build, carried a baseball bat between his legs, one that never failed to hit a home run when he slipped it between hers.

Marcia hadn't understood the reference at the time, thinking it strange that her mother was now interested in baseball. Having heard Donna now use the same analogy about Greg had made her remember it.

Consumed with curiosity as to if son took after father, Marcia had taken advantage of Charley's slavish devotion to her to have him check Greg out. To even Marcia's surprise, rather than just a description, he'd somehow managed to produce a Polaroid of Greg changing out of his swim trunks. Even suffering the effects of the cold water, Marcia was impressed.

-=-=-=-

"Hi Alice," Marcia called out to the housekeeper as she entered the house through the kitchen.

"Hi Marcia, you're home early," Alice replied as she closed the lid on the Tupperware container on the countertop.

"I have a lot of homework to do," she lied, knowing that the older woman would never question that excuse, "and I wanted to come right home and get started on it."

Alice Nelson had been the Brady Housekeeper since shortly after the first Mrs. Brady passed away. In her late forties, she had dark hair that was starting to turn gray. Despite not being the brightest bulb in the box, the second Mrs. Brady couldn't get along without her. Few housekeepers would've stayed on after learning that their employer had doubled the size of the household she was required to take care of. Even fewer would've done it without demanding a substantial raise in salary.

Marcia and Jan had once discussed the topic between themselves late one night when their youngest sister, Cindy, was away on an overnight scout trip. Marcia had shared a comment she had overheard Sam the butcher, who was the housekeeper's boyfriend, make when he and Alice were having an argument. Losing his temper, Sam had said that he knew he wasn't no Mike Brady, but he always managed to get the job done. Alice had told him to hush up, the kids were upstairs and that was something they were never to hear about.

If Alice had been taking care of their new Dad's sexual needs during his widowhood, Marcia suggested, that could be the reason why she'd stayed on. It wasn't beyond the realm of possibility that she was still getting a taste of that baseball bat from time to time. She knew their mother well enough that if it came to a choice between sharing her husband once and a while or having to do all the cooking and cleaning herself, Carol Brady would even turn down the bed for them.

Jan agreed with her older sister's assessment of her mother, but thought it unlikely that Alice and Mike Brady could be involved. It was the opinion of the middle sister that sweet Alice was playing for the other team. She regarded the number of times the housekeeper had managed to walk in on her naked as too many to be a coincidence. Especially since she always managed to find a reason to stay a while once she was there.

Marcia said she'd had quite a number of those occasions herself, and had even seen Alice stepping into the bathroom to get something when their Mom was taking a shower. Still, who was to say that both theories couldn't be true. Either way, since things were running smoothly in the Brady household, why rock the boat.

"What's with all the Tupperware?" Marcia asked curiously when she noticed that there were four more lined along the counter.

"I made up some ready to heat meals for you and Greg for the weekend," Alice replied as she stacked the containers and moved them to the freezer. "I hate to think of the two of you living on nothing but pizza every day."

"Are you going somewhere?" Marcia inquired.

"Sam and I are going to San Diego for the Southern California Over-Forty Bowling Championships," Alice answered as she closed the freezer door. "That's going to leave just you and Greg since your Mom and Dad are still away at his conference upstate."

"And Cindy, Jan, Bobby and Peter are spending the weekend at their respective grandparents," Marcia added, remembering that they were being picked up at their schools to save time.

"Exactly," Alice agreed, "so since the two of you are practically adults, I don't have to worry about leaving you alone."

"Oh I'm sure we'll be fine," the young blonde said as the makings of an idea began to form in the back of her mind.

The conversation was interrupted by the honking of a horn in the driveway. A quick glance out the sliding door told Alice that it was Sam in his truck, come to pick her up.

"Drat, he's early," Alice said as she wiped her hands on a towel and took off the apron she'd been wearing to protect the outfit she had on in place of her uniform. "I still have to finish up here and get my overnight bag from my room."

"I'll be happy to get your bag for you, Alice," Marcia smiled, eager to send the housekeeper on her way.

Before Alice could object, the teenager was on her way. She found the overnight bag on the bed, along with a small black toiletry bag. Marcia started to zip up the smaller bag in order to put it into the suitcase when two small squeeze tubes caught her attention. The first was something she had seen in the medicine chest, K-Y jelly. She knew that it had actual medical uses so she didn't automatically associate it with any sexual activity. The other tube was one she had found in the trash one day and it was a surprise to find that it had belonged to Alice.

It was called Anal-Eze and it said right on the label that it was used for anal sex. That was something Marcia had never tried and she wondered what it was like. It had been a surprise to find it in Alice's bag because the she had been dead certain that the one in the garbage belonged to brother, Peter. It was no secret among the older of the Brady kids as to why the middle son rarely went out on dates with girls.

A second honking of the horn outside caused Marcia to zip up the bag and toss it into the overnight case. Locking that down, she carried the bag down to the kitchen where Alice took it from her.

Marcia followed the housekeeper out to the driveway where Sam was waiting. He took the bag from Alice and put it in the back of his truck. She said goodbye to the older woman and told her to have fun.

As the two bowlers pulled away, neither of them could've imagined that the broad grin on the teenage girl's face had been brought on by the mental image of a nude Alice down on all fours, taking Sam's cock up her ass. For the first time, Marcia decided there actually was such a thing as too much information and wondered if she was ever going to be able to look at the housekeeper again and not conjure up that picture in her head.

For now at least, she was able to push aside that picture with that of another member of the household's anatomy. An image that unlike the first one caused a definite stirring between her legs.

-=-=-=-

"Anybody home?" Greg Brady called out as he stepped into the living room shortly before dinner time.

Not getting any response, he headed out to the kitchen where he found a note on the bulletin board explaining were everyone was, along with instructions on how to heat up the meal Alice had left for him and Marcia. Reading them twice to be sure he understood them, Greg put them in the oven and set the timer.

'I guess I have time for a quick shower before dinner,' Greg thought, quite aware of the sweat he'd worker up at the football game after school. 'Hopefully Marcia will be back from wherever she's gone by then.'

Heading up to his attic bedroom, the tall, dark-haired nineteen year old couldn't help but think this had been a very good day. Not only had his team won the football game after school, but Donna Burke had spent the whole game watching him. She'd even gone so far as to come over after the game to congratulate him on the way he'd played. They chatted for a few minutes and she surprised Greg by asking if he wanted to come over and watch a movie later on tonight. Greg had said that he'd have to check in at home first, but he was sure it would be all right.

The funny thing was, Greg thought after Donna had left, was that he'd asked her out at least a dozen times during the school year and she'd said no every time. He guessed the old "Johnny Bravo" charm finally wore her down.

Stripping off his dirty clothes and tossing them in the hamper, Greg put on a pair of gym shorts to wear back down to the bathroom. He really wished he could've convinced Dad to put in one of those shower stalls when he converted the attic into a bedroom. But to a man who saw no problem with six kids sharing one bathroom, the appeal fell on deaf ears.

To get to the bathroom, Greg had to go through the room he used to share with his brothers, Bobby and Peter. Back in the days before their father had remarried, the room on the other side of the bathroom had belonged to Greg. Now it belonged to his three sisters. Going from sharing the bath with two to five siblings had required some major adjustments, especially since the girls always seemed to need more time in there than the boys.

Of course there had been a few compensating perks that had come with the introduction of the new half of the family. All three boys were always trying to get a glimpse of Marcia and Jan in the buff, or at least in their underwear. Their youngest new sister, Cindy, was too small to be of interest to anyone. None of them had ever gotten a look at the two older girls naked, but sometimes it was enough to see them in their pajamas or just a T-shirt and shorts. Many a night, the oldest of the Brady boys had jerked himself off in his bed thinking about the girls only a room away. It might not be exactly proper, but their proximity was too much to ignore.

Possibly even more improper, had been the nights when Greg had thought of his new step-mother. Prior to her arrival, the only grown woman he had to fantasize about had been Alice. Carol Tyler-Martin Brady might very well have been old enough to actually be his mother, but there was just enough real separation between them for him to not feel that guilty about imagining her in inappropriate ways.

The thought of all the times he'd played with himself in bed reminded Greg of another reason why he was glad to have his own room again. It definitely wasn't cool to beat your meat with your brothers in the next beds. Especially since he discovered that Peter was taking way too much of an interest in what he was doing.

Greg was just about to open the bathroom door when he noticed that it had been left ajar about two inches. Usually, his brothers were pretty conscientious about making sure it was closed tight. He hesitated just long enough to realize that the shower was running. Marcia had been home all along, but hadn't heard him call out over the sound of the running water. He started to reach for the doorknob to close the door then hesitated.

Remembering all the times he and the other boys had tried to get a glimpse of Marcia and Jan, Greg realized that this might very well be both his last and best chance. All he had to do was stand right where he was and keep quiet. After all, it wasn't his fault that Marcia hadn't checked to make sure both doors were closed before climbing into the shower.