"I think Junior might have a problem," Rainbow Johnson said to her husband. She was lying on their bed, wearing her silk pajamas, and Andre was in the process of brushing his teeth. The loving parents of 5 children, Rainbow and Andre had been through a lot - it seemed like every week there was a new crisis or two happening in their lives - so Andre wasn't surprised to hear his wife was concerned about their oldest boy.
"What did he do now?" Andre asked with a roll of his eyes. Andre (or "Dre," as his wife and friends called him), loved his son. Andre loved all his children. Just, maybe not 100% equally? His eldest boy, Andre Junior, was...different. He wasn't cool. He wasn't smooth. He was a bit of a momma's boy. He liked video games, but not just the fun violent ones or the sport ones like his father, but the roleplaying mystical wizard community stuff too. Nerd shit. If you asked Dre, they were as different as father and son could be.
Truthfully, though, they had a ton in common.
"Well...promise you won't overreact," Rainbow said.
"Overreact? Do I ever overreact?" Andre said defensively.
"Dre, last week you threatened to boycott Burger King because they put pickles on your Whopper," Rainbow reminded him.
"Their slogan is 'Have it your way,' Bo. If I can't have it my way, its blatant false advertising!" Andre retorted.
"Fine, better that I don't tell you," Rainbow said.
"No, you brought it up. Now I need to know. What did he do?" Dre said, refocusing on his son.
"I...caught him..." Rainbow began.
"Oh no. Tell me you didn't. I knew letting him keep that computer in his bedroom was a bad idea. I've seen it happen. What was he looking at? Let me guess...Asians. I told you all that anime stuff was a bad idea. We're getting rid of that computer first thing tomorrow morning," Dre said.
"Dre, relax, it wasn't that...I caught him...in the laundry room," Rainbow said.
"The laundry room?" Dre asked confused.
"Yes...he was...looking through some items and...he was...sniffing certain items," Rainbow explained.
"What? He was smelling dirty clothes? Is this like a TikTok thing?"
"Dre, he was sniffing my panties. And he was...pleasuring himself," Rainbow said.
"Are you sure?"
"Dre, I'm pretty sure I know what I saw. He didn't hear me behind him and I watched. He went into the laundry room, looked through the hamper, pulled out a pair of my underwear, brought them to his face with one hand, and then put the other hand into his pants. Tell me what else could've been happening there," Rainbow said.
"I always knew there was something off about that boy," Dre said.
"Dre! There's nothing 'off about that boy.' He's 18. He's about to go to college. He's just exploring his...sexuality. It's natural. It's just...a boundaries issue," Rainbow tried to reason, defending her son.
"Natural? What's natural about sniffing your momma's dirty drawers?"
"I'm sure he was just...curious," Rainbow answered.
"Curious about what exactly?"
"I don't know, Dre. But you need to talk to him."
"Me? Oh no. You caught the pervert, you talk to him."
"Don't call him a pervert. He's just confused, okay? And don't act like you aren't turned on by my lingerie either. Remember that trip we took to the wine country last year? That red teddy I bought?"
"Oh yeah...we played little Red Riding Hood...but that's different! Besides, what do you want me to say him?" Dre asked.
"I don't know. We need to tell him its okay to have questions or to have, y'know, personal...kinks...or fetishes...or whatever...but he has to be respectful of boundaries."
"Are you sure I need to be there for this talk?"
"Dre, better we talk to him now than he gets arrested for panty raiding a sorority next year."
Dre groaned, but he knew his wife was right. They agreed they'd have a talk with Junior the next day.
****************
The next evening, Dre and Rainbow gave Pops and Ruby $100 to take their younger kids out for pizza and a movie.
"Why can't I go? I like pizza! I like movies!" Junior complained, upset about being left out. He was seated in the kitchen with his parents standing across the island from him.
"Unfortunately, me and your mother need to have a serious talk with you," Dre explained as the rest of the family departed.
"Talk with me? About what?" Junior asked, confused.
"Well...I'll let your mother speak on that," Dre said.
"Mom? What's he talking about?" Junior asked.
Rainbow took a deep breath.
"Well...yesterday afternoon...I...I think you thought I was still at work...but...I was home and...I saw you...in the laundry room," Rainbow said.
There was a dead silence. Junior's eyes got wide from embarrassment. He was caught. He knew it.
"So...do you have anything to say for yourself?" Dre asked, breaking the long silence.
"Uh...uh...I can explain," Junior said.
"Please do, son, please, please do," Dre responded.
"I...I...I was...I think maybe someone sold me one of those drug brownies at the beach...yeah, there was a bake sale...at the beach...for Cancer Awareness Month and...and...I bought a brownie and...it made me feel all weird...and crazy! It made me crazy. And so I was doing crazy things," Junior explained. His parents weren't buying it.
"A drug brownie? A drug brownie made you want to sniff your mother's underwear?" Dre asked.
"Was that what I did? I don't even remember. It was all a blur. A drug-induced blur," Junior said.
"Junior, it's okay. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Lots of guys have...panty fetishes," Rainbow said.