Big Bang Theory - Dungeons & Dragons

(Fictional story)

Penny Hofstadter was busy in her tiny office (at least she had her own office) at Zangen Pharmaceuticals, reviewing the listed side effects of the company's newest erectile dysfunction medication, when her cell phone rang; showing a number that she didn't recognize. Answering it out of habit, she felt the hairs on the back of her graceful neck tingle when she heard the distinctive British accent of actor Idris Elba on the other end of the connection. She and her friend Bernadette had recently met Elba, and visited his home, for a game of Dungeons & Dragons, courtesy of Wil Wheaton. "Hi Penny...it's Idris Elba...I hope you don't mind I coaxed your number from Wil Wheaton."

Nearly swooning at the sound of his voice and the mental image of him naked, Penny tried to calmly assure him, "oh no, of course I don't mind. Any friend of Wil's...well you know." Realizing she was beginning to babble with excitement, she continued while trying to sound emotionless, "so to what do I owe this pleasure."

"Well I thoroughly enjoyed having you (and yes he did intend the pun) at the Dungeons & Dragons game a couple months ago. Sadly I've been too busy with filming to attend a game since. Anyway, next Saturday I'm throwing a party at my house for some of my actor friends; mostly from the Avengers films; and I was hoping you and your friend Bernadette could attend."

So shocked that she could barely speak, Penny tried to gather her composure and responded, "I have to admit that I'm surprised you thought to invite me and Bernadette."

"Well," he began, "you were so much fun at the game gathering that I thought you would bring some much needed female presence at the party...they tend to be pretty much of a sausage-fest, if you know what I mean. Sometimes there is just too much testosterone in the room," and he laughed. "Wil told me that you are still interested in pursuing an acting career, and there will be plenty of A-list connections there. Chris Hemsworth, Don Cheadle, Chris Evans, Tom Holland, and Chris Pratt have confirmed already."

Penny could feel her heart beating faster and faster as she recognized the actors as their characters: Thor, War Machine, Captain America, Spiderman, and Peter Quill...all Hollywood hunks. Her head was spinning as she imagined all of them together...with her in the middle. She loved Leonard with all her heart; but come on... Trying to think clearly, she recovered enough to respond: "well I couldn't give you an answer now, without discussing it with Bernadette. Could you call me back later this afternoon?"

"Of course, of course," Elba replied, "oh and before I forget; it's a pool party, but don't worry about the sun, it won't begin until evening."

It took nearly five whole minutes for Penny to calm down enough to walk down the hall and talk to Bernadette. Entering her spacious office, Penny began, "Bernadette, you won't believe who just called me...Idris Elba!"

"No way...you're kidding," Bernadette answered excitedly, "what did he want; we both know it wasn't our new erectile dysfunction drug." They both laughed and Penny told her about the invitation. "You don't think he wants us there for sex do you," Bernadette asked.

"God I hope so," Penny answered and again they both laughed out loud.

"Yeah me too," Bernadette answered and she closed her eyes as if dreaming.

"At least he didn't mention anything about playing Dungeons & Dragons," Penny said with a sigh of relief.

"That's always a good sign," Bernadette agreed.

"So do you have any plans for next Saturday," Penny inquired.

"Actually it would be perfect," Bernadette told her, "you know the guys are planning to go to that all night Avengers movie marathon in Berkeley and stay overnight."

"What...Leonard never mentioned it to me," Penny blurted out, completely astounded.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Bernadette told her, "Howard said Leonard wasn't going to go because he thought you were getting pissed that he was still so obsessed with science-fiction, and he didn't want to upset you. I hate to tell you, but that guy is really in love with you."

"Yeah...he treats me even better now that we're married than when he was chasing me...damn," Penny chuckled, "why can't he take me for granted once in a while like most other husbands; then I could send him on a guilt trip occasionally."

"I bet he would be really happy if, out of the blue, you were to suggest he join the other guys in Berkeley," Bernadette suggested.

"Yeahhh," Penny agreed, "I may even get a vote for wife of the year," and then they both laughed again, thinking about the pool party invitation. The rest of the day Penny spent battling her conscience and when Idris Elba called back, she readily accepted the invitation. On her way home that evening, she devised a plan to not only free herself up for the party, but also reward Leonard in the process; reasoning to herself that it would ease her mind. Parking her company car she put her plan in action. She had worn a knee-length gray skirt that day with a slit up the side that nearly reached her waist. Wriggling around in the seat, she re-positioned the slit so that it was in the front, directly between her legs. She hardly ever wore panty-hose (with her legs, why bother) and today was no exception, so she reached up between her legs and slid her tiny thong down and off; stuffing them in her purse.

She unbuttoned her pale blue blouse, displaying a generous amount of inviting cleavage; just the way she did when conferring with a potential customer. Smiling all the way, she climbed the three flights of stairs and entered 4A. Her husband Leonard had arrived home first and was leaning over the sink dutifully peeling carrots for their dinner when she came through the door, tossed her keys in the bowl by the door, and set her company-provided laptop down. Without even glancing her way, Leonard called out, "hey gorgeous...how was your day."

"Pretty good, how was yours," she cheerfully asked.

"Well, Sheldon nearly choked on a grape and ended up wrestling with Raj on the cafeteria floor when he attempted to give him CPR; so pretty good also," he answered, "it was hilarious."

"Well, your day is about to get a whole lot better," she told him as she did her best sexy walk over to the kitchen counter and hoisted herself up so that she sat facing him. His eyes were immediately drawn to the slit on her skirt, which was now directly between her marvelous legs and was growing wider as she slowly spread them. When her knees were about a foot apart, he could plainly see that she was not wearing panties. It was maybe his favorite sight in the whole world as her puffy mound came into view.

He gazed into her deep emerald eyes and asked, "how did I get so lucky. I don't mean in life; but just tonight."

"Well, sometimes I think I take you for granted. Other women are always complaining about their husbands, and I realize that I hardly ever have a complaint about my nerdy man," she answered. He watched as she finished unbuttoning her blouse and eased it off her graceful shoulders to reveal her wispy lace pale blue bra. Her breasts strained against the material and his mouth fell open as she reached up to the front-clasp and flicked it open. Her incredible tits spilled out of the flimsy garment as if they had a mind of their own and hung in front of his face.

"I have never forgotten how luck I am," he told her, "my God you're beautiful." He crowded closer to the counter, reached out with both hands, and cupped her wonderfully soft breasts, handling them, at first, as if they were breakable. They hung just slightly on her chest and yet were completely firm mounds of flesh. A full 35 C with pink, slightly elliptical, areola. Her already engorged nipples were perfectly centered and the size of gumdrops. Gently, Leonard ran his thumbs over the hard nubs, watching them flick back and forth. He began to caress and fondle them more vigorously, kneading and squeezing them together. Leaning forward he attached his lips to her right nipple and flicked it with his tongue.

"Mmmm, that's nice," Penny moaned while running her fingers through his hair, holding him against her. He took turns sucking and nibbling on her gumdrops as her body began to undulate on the counter-top. He started to kiss his way down her taut stomach until his lips reached the top of her slit. As she spread her wonderful legs even wider, Leonard licked the sides of her mound, finding the scent of her arousal intoxicating. She placed her hands behind her on the counter and leaned back, watching Leonard's head between her thighs. As he explored her mound with his tongue and ran his hands up and down her thighs, he watched as her inner labia began to protrude and spread apart like the wings of a butterfly.

"Your vagi... pussy is a work of art," he murmured, not sure if she would be pleased with the remark.

"Thank you baby...it's all yours," she assured him, proudly.

Her mound was shaved totally bald, and his saliva mixed with the juices that were seeping out of her hole so that it shimmered in the harsh kitchen light. Inching her wonderful ass forward on the counter-top and spreading her legs even farther, she allowed Leonard's face to fit perfectly between her thighs as he spread her lips with his thumbs. Now able to see the vivid pink of her opening, he extended his tongue and slowly penetrated her pussy. She was so wet that he actually sucked and slurped her secretions into his mouth. "You taste sooo incredible," he mumbled as he ran his tongue up the length of her slit.

Her clit had appeared at the top of her slit and when Leonard trapped it between his teeth, she groaned and shoved her crotch against his face. "Oh my God Leonard, you are sooo good at that." When he suddenly bit down while also sliding two fingers up inside her hole, she screamed, "holy fucking crap," as she drenched his face with her orgasm. Her body twitched as she lay back on the counter, her legs wrapping around his head. After a few seconds, he was gasping for breath and forced his head above her thighs just in time to hear her say, "oh my God baby...no one but you has ever made me squirt...I DO love you."

"Oh we're not done here," he informed her as he wrapped his arms around her waist and slid her sweaty body off the counter. With her legs still wrapped around him, he carried her over to his computer desk and set her down on the edge. On the way over to the desk, she shrugged her blouse and bra off and they fell to the floor as Leonard walked. As soon as he sat her on the cool desk-top, she unhooked the waist of her skirt and let it fall to the sides, but still under her delicious cheeks, still providing a thin cushion between her and the hard surface. She slid the arms of his jacket (why did he always wear a jacket in the house, she wondered for the hundredth time) down his arms and he threw the garment aside. Quickly Penny grasped the bottom of his Iron-man t-shirt and whisked it over his head.

Standing back, Leonard shoved his jeans and boxers down in one motion and stepped out of them. Waving in front of him was what had become Penny's favorite cock; a full nine inches and very fat with a wide, bulbous crown. He was so turned on that he was sure he could've pounded nails with his hard-on as he grasped it in his hand and rubbed the head up and down her inviting and soaked slit. Penny spread her legs as far as she could and braced herself in the same position she had on the counter-top, with her hands planted firmly behind her on the desk as Leonard's crown wedged itself between her swollen lips. He loved the way her juicy labia gripped his head, surrounding it with soft, warm flesh. Too excited for patience, he lunged forward, watching the entire length of his prick disappear into Penny's cunt.

Feeling the entire length of her tunnel stretching to accommodate his huge cock, Penny threw her head back and shrieked, "oh my fucking God...I love your cock. Fuck me baby...fuck me hard." Leonard began to slowly withdraw and then ram his fat meat back into her pussy. They could hear his scrotum slapping against her ass and the squishy sounds of her sopping wet hole as he violently fucked her. Penny loved the aggressiveness of her husband as he drilled her cunt: "holy fucking crap Leonard...fuck me baby...fuck my little cunt." His prick was coated with her white froth as it slid in and out of her pink hole, her marvelous tits now flopping against her chest.

Waving her arm behind her, she flung all his action figures and memorabilia off the desk and lay back, wrapping her long, sleek legs around his waist. "Fuck me baby...fuck me," she gasped as he stretched her pussy with every thrust. Leaning forward, Leonard began to not just nibble, but actually chew on her aroused nipples; first one then the other.

"My God she's beautiful," he thought as he fucked the love of his life

Reaching down between them he, not so, gently pinched her swollen clit with his fingers and immediately felt her vaginal muscles squeeze his cock. Her tunnel went into a spasm and Penny could feel her juices now flooding down her legs as her entire body shuddered and twitched. "Oh my Godddd," she screamed, "I squirted again." Just as her climax began to subside, Leonard shoved into her cunt as hard as he could and began to pump his sperm deep into her belly. As he exploded in her pussy, Penny convulsed and threw her arms around him to keep him anchored inside her. "Holy fucking crap Leonard...not again," she gasped as his hot seed spurted against her womb.

When his balls were finally empty, Penny released her legs and he stood back, letting his shriveling penis slide out of her hole. As he watched their combined fluids trickle from her slit, Leonard retrieved his shirt and wiped her beautiful, bald mound. Both their groins were completely soaked, as was his shirt when he finished. Laying back against the desk, completely nude with her legs splayed wide, Leonard thought she had never looked more sexy. In a dreamy state, Penny moaned, "holy crap Leonard...you made me squirt three times. You are the best husband ever. As a reward, I insist that you go to the Avengers marathon with the other guys."

"Really," he was amazed, "you're not just teasing. You are the best, and most beautiful, wife ever. But what will you do next weekend?"

"Oh, Bernadette and I will think of something. Amy is going to visit her parents; so the two of us will manage."

On the day of the pool party, after the guys had departed for the film marathon in Bakersfield, Penny tied herself into her favorite orange string bikini and admired herself in the mirror. The bottom was nearly as skimpy as a thong and the tiny triangles covering her wonderful breasts could be adjusted to show as much cleavage as she desired. She decided to pull them all the way apart so the entire middle of her chest was uncovered. Squeezing into her favorite pair of skinny-jeans, she topped her outfit with a dress shirt, but decided to leave it unbuttoned.

She only had to wait a short time for Bernadette to arrive. Wil was picking them up at Penny's building shortly. Bernadette knocked almost the second Penny had slipped on her sandals and opened the door without waiting for permission. She had worn a large men's shirt (Penny thought it was probably one of her father's old castoffs) over her bathing suit and couldn't wait to show it off for Penny. Opening the plain white shirt, she revealed the absolute tiniest thong bikini Penny had ever seen (and she had been to many strip joints). It was jet-black and contrasted perfectly with Bernadette's pale skin. The top consisted of two postage-stamp sized squares, that did not fully cover her brown areola, and some string holding then together; her giant breasts literally spilling out the sides and bottom. Another string held the bottom triangle in place between her legs, and it concealed her slit, but not her entire mound. "Oh my God, Bernadette...you slut," Penny exclaimed, "why not just go nude."

Giggling, Bernadette confessed, "this is the bikini I wear in the hot tub...the one I wore when I got pregnant. I wear it when I want Howard to know I want to be fucked."

"Yeah, I think that's the message any man would get," Penny agreed.

"Good, then mission accomplished," Bernadette smiled. She asked Penny, "is that the suit you wear to seduce Leonard?"

"I don't have to wear anything to seduce Leonard...he's always ready. I have to wear the baggy flannel pj's to let him know "not tonight." Penny's cell phone rang and it was Wil, who was waiting in front of the building.

When they both got into his backseat, he turned and whistled. He plainly ogled Bernadette's bare legs and Penny's open shirt while innocuously commenting, "I don't know about you but I can't believe so many A-listers are going to be there."

"I am sooo excited," Bernadette gushed, "so, where are the blindfolds." On their previous trip to Elba's home, they had to wear blindfolds to keep the location a secret.

"No blindfolds," Wil told them, "Edris found out there were directions to his house on the internet, so he said "what the Hell." It was late afternoon, so they spent the journey craning their necks looking for star's homes.

When they arrived at the palatial estate, there were a half-dozen expensive, foreign cars in the driveway; mostly "Beamers" and Mercedes. Elba met them at the door, a wide smile on his face: "greetings, Wil, Penny, Bernadette. Welcome back to my home."

Penny grinned and returned the acknowledgement, "hi Idris," proud of herself that she was on a first name basis with the huge star. He wore an open Hawaiian shirt and floral-print board-shorts as he ushered them into his foyer.

"This get-together is actually to christen my new pool," he explained as they walked through the house. I hired Lucas Congdon to design it. Maybe you've seen the work of his company Lucas Lagoons on the show Insane Pools.

"Yeah, I've seen that show...his pools are amazing," Bernadette commented.

"Well, get ready to be amazed," Elba told them as he ceremoniously opened double glass doors onto the pool area.

"Holy crap on a cracker," Penny exclaimed as she looked around the lush lagoon of a pool; and she wasn't just talking about the pool itself. All the stars that Elba had mentioned were really there, lounging, swimming and just horsing-around. The pool WAS totally amazing; it reminded her of Gilligan's Island. It was irregularly shaped with lagoons and channels connecting them. One side was walled with huge boulders piled ten feet high, and Chris Pratt ("holy shit it was Chris Pratt) was jumping off the top into a deep end. Surrounded by palm trees and lush tropical foliage, it truly was a paradise. It wasn't dark yet, but there were large gas tiki torches lit all around the pool and a huge firepit at one end.

Suddenly Elba yelled so loud that it startled Penny: "hey everyone...this is Bernadette, Penny, and you all know Wil. Introduce yourselves sometime." And then he added quietly, "well, just have fun...mi casa su casa. There are plenty of chairs, towels and a nice buffet at that end."

Wil headed for the buffet and bar while the girls found two oversized chaise lounges close together. Penny quickly shed her shirt, as did Bernadette; and as Penny was tugging off her form-fitting jeans, Don Cheadle sat down on one of the chairs. "Hi, I'm Don," he simply offered while openly staring between Bernadette's thighs.

"Oooo, War Machine," Bernadette cooed, "your character is so great. My husband is watching an Avengers marathon right now."

"Well, how flattering," he remarked, now staring at her incredible cleavage, "but I have had other roles, you know.

"Yeah," was all Bernadette had to offer as she gazed at the bulge in his crotch. All the other stars had worn some type of board-shorts, but Cheadle had chosen a Speedo style suit and he was obviously proud of his package.