Raj, Amy, and Bernadette were all gathered in Penny's apartment.
"Thanks again for letting me crash girls' night," Raj said.
Penny replied "Are you kidding? You brought fancy wine and made fondue. I've fucked guys for less." They all looked at her. "It's a joke." She looked down into her glass of wine. "Based on real events."
Raj broke the award silence. "Anyway, I was hoping I could, uh, pick your brains a little. I'm supposed to take Lucy out Friday and I need a killer first date."
Amy spoke up. "Well, evolutionary biology says that women are attracted to a man who is steady in the face of danger, so I recommend an unsafe environment. Seedy bar on the wrong side of the tracks, picnic near a lunatic asylum, a wine tasting on Skid Row."
Raj stared at her for a moment and considered what an odd suggestion that was. "Uh, Lucy has some, uh, social anxiety issues. Maybe we could start with something simpler."
"Why don't you take her to Mouseland? You go on Space Hill, you're in the dark, she's holding onto you," Bernadette said dreamily.
"Yeah, but you just have to remember, that ride is shorter than you think and they take a picture of you at the end, so make sure you got your clothes back on and his cock isn't in your mouth. They frown on that," Penny reminded them. Then she realized what she had just said. "It's a joke." She looked into her glass again, hoping it would retract what she had just said. "Based on real events." She took a gulp of her wine.
Raj thought about it. "Hmmmm, Mouseland? I don't know. With all the crowds and the weird characters walking around, just reminds me too much of India."
"I haven't been to Mouseland since I was a kid. We should definitely go one weekend," Amy said.
Bernadette shook her head. "Weekends are too crowded."
Penny shrugged her shoulders. "So, blow off work, go on a weekday."
Amy shook her head. "Hooky? I've never played hooky in my life. My mom said that's how girls end up addicted to reefer and jazz music."
"It's more like how a girl ends up at a Best Western hotel in the middle of a gangbang with half the football team," Penny said with a hint of remorse in her voice.
"Joke?" Bernadette asked.
Penny took a sip of her wine. "I can laugh about it now."
Bernadette looked at the others in the room. "So, what do you say? This Friday we ditch work and go to Mouseland?"
Penny hoisted her glass of wine. "I'm in."
Amy shook her head. "Nope, can't do it. I don't like Best Westerns."
Raj was becoming agitated. "Excuse me, I thought we were trying to solve my problem?"
The question startled Penny back into the moment. "Oh, yeah, right. Wait, what was your problem again?"
Raj was clearly agitated now. "I am a man who can't talk to women, trying to figure out how to go on a romantic date with a girl who suffers from such crippling social anxiety she can't be around other people."
Penny took another sip of wine. "Yeah, that's a toughie."
Bernadette scratched her chin for a moment. "Hmmmm, let's think." Raj anxiously awaited a brilliant answer. "We doing just Mouseland or California Experience, too?"
****
Penny and Bernadette were tooling down the highway Bernadette's car on their way to Mouseland.
"I can't believe I ditched work for Mouseland," Bernadette said with excitement in her voice.
"What did you tell your boss?" Penny asked.
"Oh, I was very clever, I did it in stages," Bernadette said. "At seven o'clock last night, I called about a problem at the office and casually mentioned I was going out for seafood. At nine thirty, I called and told him that one of my scallops tasted weird. At eleven thirty, I called and said I was throwing up like a fire hose. At twelve forty-five, I called and made nothing but dry heaving sounds, and now I'm going to Disneyland." She paused. "What did you say?"
Penny shrugged her shoulders. "I work at the Cheesecake Factory, I said bye. So, what are we gonna do first?"
*****
The two women walked through the gates into the happiest place on earth. Penny wore her short-short-short jeans shorts and a skin tight, low cut pink tank top with thin straps over the shoulders, and Converse tennis shoes. Bernadette wore a light, breezy sun dress covered in flowers with spaghetti straps. The front had a deep "v" cut into it laced together with colorful strings. The back dove from her shoulders to just above her ass in the same "v" shape laced with across her back with the same colorful strings, and wedges on her feet.
They rode The Flying Elephant and the Space Hill. Then they came upon The Mouse's House.
"Oh! We have to see The Mouse!" Bernadette squealed. She grabbed Penny's hand and pulled her into the house.
Being a weekday, the line to meet The Mouse was short. When it came to their turn, Bernadette ran to The Mouse and gave him a big hug. He ran his big, puffy hands up and down her nearly bare back.
Penny wasn't nearly as excited to embrace the big rat, but she did it anyway. He pulled her close. Just as he had done with Bernadette, he ran his cloth covered hands up and down her back.
Did he just grab my ass?!
She went to break the embrace, but he pulled her closer, continuing to slowly run his hands up and down her back.
Penny finally broke away. The two girls spun around and stood next to him to pose for their picture. The Mouse reached around their waists and pulled them close.
Bernadette's tit nearly bounced out of her top.
Did he just feel me up?!
Just as the camera flash went off, Penny felt it again.
Did that fucker just grab my ass again?!
The two girls left the house wondering what just happened.
"That rat bastard grabbed my ass! Twice!" Penny exclaimed.
"You, too? I'd swear he felt me up."
"I think I felt a boner poking my leg when he gave me that entirely-too-long hug," Penny said shaking her head. "His woman needs to do a better job of taking care of her man."
And that's how their entire day went. Every interaction with a crew member involved some kind of inappropriate touching. Every ride they went on the crew member lingered much longer at their station and were, shall we say, overly aggressive when checking to make sure their restraints were tight enough. In the overly crowded portions of the park, where it was shoulder-to-shoulder trying to get through, they could count on some part of their body being anonymously groped.
It wasn't just the California sun that had their bodies overheated. All of this touching, grabbing, and caressing of their bodies had them looking for a release.
"Happiest place on Earth my ass," Penny observed. "More like the horniest place on Earth!"
"I know, right?" Bernadette concurred. "Oooo! Look! Chip and Dale! I love Chip and Dale!" she squealed, pointing in the direction of a pair of overgrown, furry cast members with a line in front of them waiting to meet them. Bernadette raced off in their direction.
"They don't look like any Chip 'n Dales I've ever seen," Penny lamented.
The girls waited patiently in line until it was finally their turn to meet the furry crew members. Bernadette raced to them and gave each one a great big hug before finally taking her spot in the middle of the two for her picture.
Bernadette noticed Penny hadn't followed her. "Aren't you coming?" she asked.
Penny shook her head. "Nah, I think I'll pass on this one."
"Your loss," Bernadette squeaked.
They all wrapped their arms around each other and posed for the picture. Almost immediately, Bernadette felt two hands slide down her back and stop on her ass. Both ass cheeks were now firmly gripped. This time, she returned the grope. She reached down and grabbed the ass of each one on either side of her. Hard. The two jumped, then grabbed her ass again. She returned the favor just as the picture was snapped.
She broke off from the two and turned to hug them again. While she hugged Chip, she whispered in his ear, "When do you get your next break?" He held up his hand with five fingers extended. "Five minutes?" He nodded his head. "Would you like to meet up?" Another nod of the head. "Where?" He pointed to an alley to his left. "See you then!" she squealed.
Bernadette went back to where Penny was standing. "What was the sign language all about?" Penny asked.
"I'm going to meet up with them in five minutes" she said with a wink.
"Are you thinking they might want to store their nuts for winter?"
"That's what I'm hoping," Bernadette said coyly. "Wanna come?"
"Nah, I'll pass. The Galaxy Far, Far Away Launching Bay is right over here. I'll go in there, see if I can find Leonard something."
"Okay. You're loss!"
