Big Bang Theory- Randall's Birthday
(fictional story about fictional characters)
(A stand-alone story.)
Leonard Hofstadter knocked on 4B and without waiting for an invitation, opened the door and entered the apartment of his gorgeous girlfriend. Since their relationship had advanced to a more intimate one, they each had taken the liberty of treating each others apartments as their own: as long as the door was unlocked, it was fine to come in. Of course Leonard's roommate Sheldon still admonished Penny for not waiting for an invitation to enter, but they just laughed it off as they did most of his idiosyncrasies. Penny was on the phone and just greeted him with a wide smile as he heard her say, "OK Daddy, I'll FAX it to you...say Hi to Mom...bye."
She was dressed in her loathsome Cheesecake Factory uniform as she dropped her phone on the coffee table. Penny hated the uniform but Leonard found it to be incredibly sexy; although he would never admit that to her. What was not to like: it showed her incredible legs and just a hint of her sexy cleavage. He knew that if she had a customer wearing an expensive suit, or if the reservation said "Dr." she would unbutton her blouse an extra button in an attempt to receive a larger tip...and with her assets this strategy was usually successful.
"Hi Honey," she greeted him and he had to force himself to concentrate on her conversation. Since he had graduated to the nickname "Honey," from her ubiquitous greeting of "sweetie," which she called everyone; Leonard fantasized about their future together every time he heard it. He was head-over-heels in love with his beautiful blonde neighbor and happier than he had ever been. "That was my Dad," she confirmed, "Randall had his trial and the judge put him on probation. If he gets caught cooking crystal meth again, they're sending him to prison...real prison this time, not just the county lockup."
Trying to not fixate on her angelic face, Leonard replied, "wow, that's rough. I'm glad he's out of the county slammer, though. It must have been rough in stir." Randall was her brother who seemed to excel at one thing...making drugs.
Chuckling, Penny answered, "nice prison talk...you nerd. Daddy thinks it would be a good idea for him to get away from his degenerate friends for awhile and he convinced the judge to grant him permission to cross state lines as long as he had a job and a place to live."
"Sooo...," Leonard inquired.
"Daddy asked me if Randall could come and live with me until his probation is over. I know Wade will give him a job at the Cheesecake Factory; we're always shorthanded; and I'll be sure to show some cleavage when I ask."
"I heard you mention a FAX," Leonard questioned, trying to ignore the flesh baring comment.
"Oh yeah," she began, pulling him down next to her on the sofa and giving him her most seductive look, "I need to ask you a couple favors."
"You know you don't even have to ask," he assured her, glancing down at her naked thigh as her skirt rode up when she crossed her legs.
"Well I have to FAX a copy of a utility bill to the judge to confirm my residence, and a written job offer as proof of promised employment. Would you mind doing that for me...there must be a FAX machine at the university," she told him.
"Wow a FAX machine...do they even use those anymore," Leonard mused, "of course I'll do it for you...H.R. probably has one. So he'll be living here in your apartment?"
"Yep," she confirmed.
Trying not to be selfish and wondering how her brother's presence was going to affect their time together, he asked, "you said you had two favors."
"Well I think I should give Randall a little privacy, so I was wondering if it would be a problem if I spent a lot more nights in your room," she asked, grinning.
Leonard wasn't sure but he thought his heart actually skipped a beat as he inquired, "you mean with me there too...right."
"Oh you poor damaged man," Penny stated as she grasped the sides of his head, planted her lips on his and kissed him passionately, for at least five Mississippi's, slipping her tongue inside his mouth, "does that answer your question."
"I think I can grant both of those favors," Leonard assured her while nibbling on her ear lobe and neck, knowing it drove her crazy.
"Oh my God," she moaned, "I would love to, but as you can see by my attire, I have a shift. I would accept a ride, however."
"It would be my pleasure, m-lady," Leonard told her, knowing he could at least look at her legs in the car.
Three weeks later, Penny and Leonard were in his car driving home from the airport with her brother Randall in the back seat. Leonard liked him: he was pleasant in a goofy sort of way. It turned out he was a sort of drug-making savant...it just seemed to come naturally for him. He knew all the nuances and formulas and would probably have made a good chemist. He was quirky though: every time a CHIP motorcycle would go by the car, he would duck down in the seat and yell, "cops."
"Randall, stop it," Penny scolded him, "you haven't done anything here...they don't know you."
"Yet," he whispered.
"No, you will never do anything to attract the attention of the police here...do you understand," she continued, "need I remind you that you are on probation...sort of in my custody...you WILL behave or I'll go all Nebraska on you."
Randall knew she could do it too, he had grown up wrestling with her, and always losing. "You know the Nebraska Probation Department handed me off to the California one so they can request that I come to their office at any time for a urine test," he informed them. He began to educate them on urine tests: "alcohol is the drug of choice because it leaves the bloodstream in about 24 hours, whereas marijuana is the worst because traces can remain for three weeks. Cocaine is water based, so about 48 hours is the max; and crystal meth-my specialty-stays in the system for 3 to 5 days."
"So if you have to have something, have a drink," Penny ordered him, "do not get me in trouble with Dad."
"Got ya," Randall agreed, "not to mention they'll revoke my probation and send me to prison."
"The big house...the slammer," Leonard grinned, reaching over and squeezing Penny's knee through her jeans.
"You are such a nerd," she laughed, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek.
Randall settled in to California life quickly and Leonard couldn't have been happier with the living arrangements. Penny slept with him nearly every night, and Sheldon had actually (reluctantly) amended the infamous "roommate agreement" to include Penny. Randall, with his goofball personality, was popular at the Cheesecake Factory with the other employees. Pablo, the dishwasher, and Juan, the other busboy, took him under their wing and he was soon "one of the gang." Wade, the manager, liked him because he worked for the same wages as the undocumented Mexicans, and he knew Randall would be there even after ICE (Immigration & Customs Enforcement) held one of their routine raids. Being only two and a half hours from the border, it was easy to keep hiring new kitchen help about every six weeks.
One evening after take-out dinner from Szechwan Palace, the gang was just sitting around talking (actually listening to Sheldon drone on about something Penny didn't understand) when Randall excused himself and went back to Penny's apartment. Whispering (for some reason, even though Randall wasn't present), Penny informed them that Randall's birthday was later that week and asked if they would mind throwing him a little party...nothing big, just something to let him know they liked him.
"Ooo, we should definitely do that," Bernadette agreed, "he's such a cutie."