8000 words. Tags: baywatch, victoria's secret, Rachel Cook, Stacy Kamano, Jessica Alba, Alessandra Ambrosio, Jasmine Tookes, Mile-high club, Melissa Benoist
This chapter has benefited greatly from extensive revisions by my editor Nick. In particular, anything funny in the dialogue, we have him to thank for it! Also new, I will be posting links in the comments to share some of the outfits and situations I have come across in my research.
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This is the tenth in an open ended "celeb harem" story putting together two of the greatest franchises known to Man, Baywatch and the Victoria's Secret Angels, and the second in a mini trilogy covering the filming of the series' pilot episode. Outfits and references are based on real life look-books and clips.
Principal photography has wrapped in LA and it is time to head to the Hawaii location to shoot the training sequences. Emotions are running high after a high profile Internet hacking, and both Baywatch and Victoria's Secret are circling around ready to pounce on any weakness... All in all, a pretty bad time to have personal life distractions, wouldn't you say?
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Man, the days when I mentally kick myself in the butt for pissing away my youth and fading into TV has-been obscurity. The days when I watch Jason Momoa ham it up on Game of Thrones with that dumb-ass, fucked-up beard, and wonder, what if? Too many to count.
This, however, was not one of those days.
"Who else?"
That's Michael Lombardo, by the way. Head of Programming at HBO, you'll recall and not the kind of guy to thump tables and break phones when he gets mad. No, this guy gets quieter. Which is way fucking scarier. In fact, as my co-producer Jason and I stood before him in his minimalist office, he seemed to project a force field of chilly silence. You could -hear- your own heart beating.
After about five hours (possibly minutes), Jason shot me a lightening glance and ventured to Lombardo: "I've checked around, it seems nobody's recognized Mike from the videos yet."
Remembering our game plan, I shook myself and pointedly returned Lombardo's basilisk glare. "And the news cycle's moved on to the other hacks now, anyway. Who's going to care about ID-ing me with nudes of Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton dropping in every corner of the net?" The unauthorized release of the private videos of the Victoria's Secret Angels had thankfully been overshadowed by the hacking of bigger celebrities. It was still newsworthy in itself and something I needed to get to the bottom of, but now I had time.
"That wasn't the question I asked, Mr. Bergin. DId you not hear the question I asked?"
I shrugged. "Look, I can't tell you what I don't know. Someone had access to-"
"Oh, you think? You've worked it all out? Someone had access to things they shouldn't have? Maybe I should fire my head of cyber-security, put you in charge. Now try again. Who. Else?"
What he was asking finally dawned on me. I gave a sidelong look at Jason and cleared my throat. "Ah. That. I... uh... I got to know a lot of the Angels in St. Barts. If you're asking who else on the cast might be at risk... it's Romee, Martha, and Ale. But never on film!"
"God fucking dammit!" Lombardo snapped.
Jason raised an eyebrow approvingly, and his reaction to my list of conquests was as wordless as it was approving, as if to say, "Bro." I shrugged my shoulders ever so slightly in response. The facts were the facts.
"Why can't you straight men keep it in your pants? We're already having enough trouble with the VS legal team trying to claw back their girls and then you drop this steaming pile of shit on my desk."
Jason stepped in to help out. "To be fair, Mr Lombardo, the tapes have very little to do with the actual show itself. I mean, you only see Jasmine and Elsa performing oral sex on Mike and we pretty much did just that in the series pilot with Ale and Carmen. Miranda? Well, she wasn't even an Angel at the time. And the campfire orgy - that was a year before Mike even got on the scene."
Lombardo visibly relaxed. "You guys are real pieces of work, you know that? We let Mike off the hook because he wasn't banging the supermodels in the back of the limo, he was only getting his cock sucked?"
"Oh, I think he probably did bang them as well, just that bit doesn't seem to be on camera" said Jason.
"Thanks, man" I said "remind me not to hire you as defence counsel."
Lombardo had had enough, though. "Believe me when I say, I really don't care one way or the other anymore. I'll get a professional to deal with it. You, gentlemen, need to tone down the fraternization with the talent, though. This we survive. Maybe. But No Fucking More."
Jason looked back and forth between me and Lombardo before realizing he was now the center of attention. He put his hands up in mock protest. "Don't look at me, I'm not the one dating my co-star!."
That comment stung a little, though it was meant to be light-hearted. We weren't dating. It was... complicated. Had always been, but now more than ever. "So, about that - things with Stacy are a little rocky right now. She wants to be an EP."
"She does? Have you seen her IMDB? You'd have thought she'd be grateful just to get back in front of the camera again. Why don't we just go ahead and make every fucking cast member an EP?"
"Well it was her idea..."
Lombardo snorted dismissively. "Ideas are worth shit in this industry. The original Baywatch was a piece of rotting driftwood before Hasselhoff took over."
"But she's getting pretty insistent on it, even to me." Jason pointed out. "Could be more trouble than it's worth."
"She still going to Oahu with you?" said Lombardo.
We nodded.
"Then we'll talk about it once you guys get back. And do me a favor - try not to fuck your guest star?"
I blinked. "Guest star?"
Jason perked up in excitement. "No way. Duncan came through?"
"IN Talent finally found someone to tie you in to this DC Universe thing. You can thank them for saving your sorry asses." Lombardo buzzed the intercom. "You can come in now."
The door swung open. I looked her up and down from her sheer red boots to her stockinged legs, her short skirt as red as her flowing cape, cinched effortlessly at her petite waist by a stylized gold belt, leading into a glossy ultramarine spandex top crested with an unmistakable red 'S'.
"I hear there's a job for Supergirl?" Melissa Benoist grinned.
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