I don't remember much of my life before the beast blood, but what I do has saved my humanity. I remember my fathers face but not his name. I remember that he traded with the elves in Skyrim and I remember the elves once speaking of something they called meditation to focus ones mind and collect ones thought to gain better understanding and control of ones mind and body. After the beast blood for weeks I spent mindlessly roaming the woods killing and eating anything that crossed my path even men and mer. My wolf form was so powerful few were any real threat to me. I stood nearly seven feet tall, my arms and legs were both long and powerful, my hands and grown and elongated fingers with claws that could rend flesh from bone, my feet had been replace by the paws of a wolf, on my shoulders stood a wolf head with massive jaws, and nearly every inch if me was covered in black fur. I could run faster then any horse when on all fours though I rarely did, and I had the strength throw men with enough force to break their bodies, and my jaws were strong enough to crush skulls in seconds.
After what I think was several weeks I was able to sit and think. I remembered meditation and began to learn again. For days I sat in contemplation focusing with all my will to have thought beyond animal instincts. Hunger, rage, lust, I beat them all back as best I could but they would not be silenced. They screamed constantly in my mind every moment of every day but I managed to resist. Eventually I was able to have sentient thought again. I would go hunt as far away from people as I could then return to my meditation. Day in day out this pattern continued, gradually I gained more and more control over my mind. I made my home in a cave in the woods and began to make peace with my state of being. I could not transform back to my human form and I had no dreams I would ever be able too. As the instincts of the werewolf were always screaming in my mind, but I had hope that I would be able to live without killing anyone else, the memories which were now nightmares in my mind. Looking into my memories I re taught my self how to read and write which wasn't too difficult with the fragments of memories I had. What was much more difficult was re learning how to speak. Having a wolf mouth was completely different from having a human mouth and getting it to form the words I wanted was extremely difficult. I could only speak a few words.
One day when venturing out to hunt my senses caught something the smell of smoke, the sounds of steel clashing, and screams of utter anguish, a ping of an old memory sprang to my mind. Skyrim was in the middle of a civil war. No doubt a battle was taking place near by. Then I noticed something screams were coming closer.
"No please don't!" The female voice cried out as her foot falls came closer.
I hid in the thick vegetation around me as she came into view with several soldiers right behind her many of them wearing bear skins and carrying axes they grabbed her and began ripping her clothes off
"Skyrim belongs to the nords you Breton whore!" He screamed with evil intent.
Hearing him say that started a rage in me that couldn't be stopped and one of the few words that I could speak erupted from my mouth as the beast took over.
"NO!"
I lunged towards him with one swing of my claws his throat was torn nearly decapitating him. I quickly swung my other claw back striking another soldier slicing his face and sending him through the air until he crashed on the ground. The last one lunged with his ax as I did with my teeth. My jaws met his neck the moment his ax met my shoulder I lifted him off the ground and with all my strength threw him into a tree that nearly buckled under the force of the impact. I noticed the one I had back handed beginning to move I leapt on him my right paw crushing his skull on impact. The beast was in control now and he was hungry. The delicious flesh before me was making my mouth water.
I began to lean down when I heard the girl wimper "Oh Gods." Reminding me of her presence. I looked to her and saw she was young, beautiful and oh so delicious from her raven hair to her small breasts ever inch of her looked tender. I approached her jaws open and watering. She began crying "Please no! Please no!"
Tears pouring from her eyes. There was something about that, I didn't like which gave me a moment of thought. DONT! screamed in my mind as loud as it could, but the beast blood carried me forward. DONT DONT DONT DONT! Screaming to me over and over until I was right on top of the girl. SHE IS A PERSON SHE IS NOT YOUR FOOD YOU ARE NOT ANIMAL!!! Don't do this don't be a monster REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!!! That's right I'm not a monster. I will never be a monster again I thought regaining control of my mind and body. I backed away from the terrified girl looked into her green eyes and said "S...S. Sorry." I managed to get out the girl looked back at me with fear, shock and disbelief all in one expression. We just sat there for a moment staring at each other. The moment was broken when I heard more soldiers approaching I reach out one of my clawed hands to her and said "C...Come."
She looked at me then back from where she'd came perhaps considering her options still wide eyed she quietly said "ok."
I picked her up and bolted into the forest. Her face kept that stunned expression the whole time. When we got to my cave I didn't really know what to do I had few possessions a few furs from bears I had hunted for extra warmth and a few weapons I had gotten from bandits that I had killed so it wasn't like I had any comforts for the girl being a werewolf required very little.
I set her down on the furs and with my claw I wrote in the soil Safe Here. She read what I had wrote in amazement.
"Can you understand me?" She asked.
"Yes" I answered. "You can speak?" She asked.
"Very Little" I wrote in the dirt.
She was still terrified but more curious now and she began to open up a bit more."What is your name?" she asked.
"Don't Remember" I wrote in the dirt.
